SI:self injury - Page 11 - Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions

embryo · **Re: Embryo -** 08-25-01

Quote:

Originally posted by midnightsorrow
Embryo-
I tried to return you PM but your Box is FULL. If you empty it I will resend the info and stuff you asked for.

Take care of yourself.......all of you...
--Midnight

sorry man-it's messed up. I HAVE emptied it.

magnus1121 · 08-25-01

There was something about SI this morning on some news network that my dad happened to be watching. There was a therapist on saying that parents should check their kids for self-inflicted cuts if they're always wearing long pants and long sleeves and such. My parents are so dense sometimes. I have cuts all over my arms, but I also have a dog. Most of the time I'll show them the cuts and say I was fighting with the dog or something, just to prevent suspicion. Of course, my parents being the old-fashioned way they are, said it was a stupid, sick thing to do. I just kind of agreed. I haven't cut in a month or more, and it's usually no longer serious. The therapist on the show said to get your child treatment because there's ways to fix it. I guess. He said that 75% of people who cut are from upper- to middle-class families, and 87% are female because it's more socially acceptable for guys to release anger by getting in fights and such. But I guess now I know I could never turn to my parents with this. Like I said, I haven't cut in a month or more, but that could be possibly because over the summer I cut open my leg pretty badly by accident and almost needed stitches.. I had my share of blood and pain for the time being. Right now, I just keep picking the scab off to see the blood. But it's going away, and I guess I'm pretty fucked up, because not feeling any pain is really frustrating the hell out of me. I guess it doesn't matter much. I don't need help anyway. I've gone for a month or so, and that's good. No problem, right? Right.

bambam=o( · 08-25-01

magnus, thats awesome! Yeah, the majority of the repliers that come in here are female. I think its harder for us to release emotions, depression, etc.. well we have crying, but it only does so much. I think crying plays a role in Si as well. I know when i am cutting, it was either derived from crying, or ends with crying or I am crying while i am slicing. It coinsides i guess. anywho its been about 2 weeks for me. I have this new attitude, i don't give a fuck about much anymore, except those close to me.

midnight sorrow, I hope you are well hun, as I do for all of you.

Pyrric Dicktory · 08-25-01

Quote:

Originally posted by Pyrric Dicktory
I hear they're doing a new service anouncement on pbs on self mutilation. they are going to have the lead singer to stained come out and talk about the dangers of self mutilation and then when the sponsers are being shown they are going to play:

"let the razors hit the floor. let the razors hit the floor."

fuck you bambam, this was funny.

bambam=o( · 08-25-01

i am too weak to fight, you know what pyrric, all this will be over if i say, YOU ARE SO RIGHT!

Pyrric Dicktory · 08-25-01

Quote:

Originally posted by bambam=o(
i am too weak to fight, you know what pyrric, all this will be over if i say, YOU ARE SO RIGHT!

kickass

bambam=o( · 08-25-01

uh huh

midnightsorrow · 08-25-01

*pops in*
Yes Bam Lovey I'm well as far as my SI stuff, I just feel a bit under the weather right now.

Dae · 08-25-01

Last night I cut myself up pretty bad. I'm starting to hide mine so I do it on my upper legs and thighs. I carved the word "pain" into my hip. I even cut my wrist just enough to see blood. I hate that I can't stop. I'll sit in my room thinking about it. Wanting to do it. Eventually I just break down and do it. I'm even thinking about it now. I can't stop.

bambam=o( · 08-25-01

awwwww......Dae, Midnightsorrow i am sorry huns. Tongiht i was having so much fun, not thinking about anything abou cutting and my ex saw my scars. He pointed them out in front of everyone I was with. I felt like a total ass. I want to be able if I need to to cut somewhere un noticable. but i don't know anymore. I like the blood, i think that is it. the pain is what i crave, but the blood makes it different. If I needed the pain, i would just punch or burn, but i love my blood. I dunno what i am saying. I am so tired. I hope everyone is well.

embryo · 08-26-01

i'm not well, but who gives a shit? no-one. end of story.

bambam=o( · 08-26-01

Quote:

Originally posted by embryo
i'm not well, but who gives a shit? no-one. end of story.

why is it that the people i wished were close, all live in england???

bambam=o( · 08-26-01

i do hun, is there anything i can do to help?

embryo · 08-28-01

probably no. no biggie. i'm used to it.

bambam=o( · 08-28-01

awww.....hun, i think i would rather feel something right now. I have no emotions, no happiness, but with that comes no pain. I don't know if it's bad or good. Got to talk to someone right now. Than I'll get back to here. Tell you if I feel again.

~:fAllen sTar :~ · 08-28-01

oh oh theres a word when one looses all feeling, and all their senses its called vapidus...i amde a poem called vapidus, but its old, but ohh how i feel so special now, thats the word of the day folks...Vapidus!!!...

RedMeat · 08-28-01

Or just Vapid.

bambam=o( · 08-28-01

never heard it before.

sno ball · **vapid -** 08-29-01

vapid just means dull or lifeless.. insipid

still.. if you're self-involved enough to be aware that you have no feeling, then i may as well point out that feeling a lack of emotion is in itself an emotional state, whether you like it or not.

if you really weren't in the grips of an emotional extreme, you'd feel too much beyond yourself to care that you have no emotion.
it's funny.. some people go their whole lives without ever realizing that feeling can be used for way more than self-involved ego-masturbation.

embryo · 08-29-01

this conversation is completely ova my head. i usually feel 'vapidus' when i'm on drugs.