Okay, so everyone has problems with their parents at one point or another, but I'm stuck. My sister and I found out that my dad's doing/dealing drugs. Pot, acid, meth, and other stuff I can't even identify. It's not such a big deal to me really, other than that he's lied to my sister and me our whole lives, and is continuing to do so. He's also an alcoholic and a very violent bastard. He's never hit my sister or I, but he's been damn close. He's a huge reason why my sister attempted suicide a few months ago and is currently in therapy. My sis's therapist told her to write our dad a letter telling him that we know about his "li'l habits". I think it's a stupid idea and that he'll just freak out and it'll make things worse. On the other hand, if we don't say anything... he'll keep doing what he's doing and I'm afraid he'll drive my sister over the edge again. I only see my dad every two week or so, and everytime I go down there I have to bite my tongue. I swallow blood every goddamned minute I'm in his presence because I haven't got the gall to confront him about it. My sister is weak and is practically relying on me to deal with it because she's too afraid of him. I'm just in a jam. I could use some other opinions because mine are all fucked up at the moment. Thanks.

Call the cops and maybe the cops could put you and your sister in a foster home together. Other then that i don't know what to tell you.

how old is your sister?

i'm sure the last thing you want to do is to put your dad in jail. well that would be me in that position. I would hint to him that you're cool with it, but that your sister needs the support and saftey that he's not givin her.

if she's going to be leaving home any time, soon, it could be better for everyone if it were sooner than later. that way when you lot do see each other, it may not be so tense - you'll all be doing as you do, trying to keep all the shit out of your visits.

you only see him every once in a while. where are you the rest of the time? your mother?
how old are you and your sister? etc. I dont mean to be intrusive or anything but I cant see whats going on exactly, so I cant really comment.

If you have a messanger, youre welcome to talk to me. I'll see what i can do(if anything).

I'm 17 and my sis is 15. I live with my mom and my step dad and I visit my dad every two weeks or so. By law I have to see him once a month until I'm 18, but of course my sister has to deal with him for another two+ years. I don't really want to ask him to stop doing/dealing drugs, but I want him to realize what he's doing to my sister. She doesn't want to stand up to him... and I'm itching to, but I fear that he'll take his anger at me out on my sister, which is why I've kept my mouth shut. My mom is refusing to step in because she wants us to "make our own decisions about him". I think that's bunk because by refusing to tell us that our own father is a crack head automatically interferes with our decisions. Blah blah blah, can you see why I'm going in circles?

yes i do.... i never was ordered by a court to see my father, if i was, i dont abide by it. i hate my father.
As far as I can see, because there is the risk that he would take it out on you and your sister and the rest of your family, you might actually want to involve authorities. Then if things do go down, at least you sister wont be mandated to go see him anymore. But turning in a parent like that I cant imagine would go over well. maybe you should boycott him? i really have no idea what to tell you

i haven't seen my father since i was 7 and he was a dealer/user as well. Why would a court order an adolecent to deal with that? But I think that you should maybe go out to dinner and see how he reacts and if he gets angry call a taxi or your mother or drive home, you do not want to be in a potential situation where he can beat the living daylights out of you...let me tell you that is no fun to end up in a hospital and have to tell doctors and police to their faces that your own fater hit you and not to mention embarassing...but if he does take a violent turn definately involve athorities because it will go no where for you or your sister butstrait down hill... well I hope I gave you at least an insight to the right direction or persuade you to one decision or another if you need to talk feel free to pm me or e mail me (ansmalls2007@aol.com)
~raven~

Im guessing your old enought to take care of your sister or shes old enought to take care of you or your living with a family member/close friend...not in a foster home..



Your probaly under a lot of stres & you dont know what to do...my advice is say something to your dad & those are serious drugs so if he doesnt quit (for his help he needs)go to someone you trust,if your dad trys to hurt you in any way its serious & involves the piggers.



good luck hun




-*Amy

thanks a lot guys. I think I'm going to take my dad and my sis out to dinner and talk this whole thing out. I'm sick of stressin' over it and sick of biting my tongue too. If he tries to do hurt my sister or me... either he'll get a swift kick in the chin from me, or he'll get it with the cops. Yeah... I'm going to go act like a somewhat normal teenage girl (I almost wish) and go look up a prospective college online. Love lots to all you, thanks.

yes and if he gets angry dont leave public with him or he might get violent the first chance he gets, the best of luck sweetie
~raven~

Well, here what you do, Im 20 I have been through everything you have just posted about, the best advice I can give is, call the cops on your dad, you and your sister do not need to grow up with a low life father like that. Especially if your sister is in therapy becuase of that. You do not need that, and neither does your sister. Your dad should care about you more, and not be so abusive, I can tell you its most likely the drugs that are doing it to him, maybe if he will clean up, then the relationship with him will improve. my AIM is DJlotus03 if you ever wanna chat. I hope everything works out with you.

*agrees with babies and midnight*


...stay in public....midnight is right & to what babies said ....only call the cops if he trys in the tiniest way to harm you.Good luck hun

well, my sister mailed the letter she wrote... and my dad actually agreed to cut down on his drinking. As for the drugs, he swears he only smokes pot. I don't believe him, and neither does my sister, but we're going to start doing things together, as a family type thing (no matter how dysfuncional) instead of sitting around his house all weekend doing nothing. I don't know how it's going to turn out, but I want to thank all of you for being there. Wish me luck... I hope things get better. I'm glad my sister sent that letter, else we probably never would have told him how we felt. Anyway, thanks a lot guys.

No problem sweets*
~raven~

good luck i hope it al works out