I was recently faced with a very stressful problem...a problem which exposes the bare-knuckled cruelities of life. Here's my story:

With a dime in my pocket I made my way to the corner store eager to satisfy my addiction to gummy-type candy. While standing in line, the small child in front of me reached into the penny candy jar and purchased all but the last nine pieces of licorice fish. (Can you guess my dilemma?) So here I am, faced with one of the biggest decisions of my life. After handing the clerk my dime do I stand there and wait for my penny's worth of change, in which case I'll look extremely petty, cheap and desperate? Or do I announce to the clerk "Keep the change", in which case I come off looking like some charitably cheap moron who actually thinks that my gift of one cent is like a blessing from God to the man behind the counter and his family?

It truely was a no win situation...so, in the end, I panicked and faked a seizure. Then while the clerk raced to the phone to call for help, I got up and ran like the wind back to the stress-free comfort of my very own home. I don't know whatever became of that penny, but in the deepest corners of my soul I pray to God that I never see it again.

What would you do?

Used a few dozen strands of red licorice to choke the kid to death.

Fate is, indeed, a harsh mistress. You did the right thing. Be strong.

No need to strangle the child with licorice.. just whip him into submission.

Wait for the penny, take it and put it in the penny cup. Ya know the "take a penny leave a penny fuck a penny" cup. They're everywhere.

I guess you could still whip the kid if you're into that...

or you could have just walked off before he gave you the change.

Yeah, but then you get the whole "Sir.. SIR.. SIR! YOU FORGOT YOUR CHANGE!" thing goin on

I dunno, I thought it was funny as hell...

You always could have put it in the little dish with pennies in it for people who are slightly short or need one to make the change easier to give...Otherwise, I thought it was handled quite well...

thats when you become deaf