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12-15-04
Current status: Little Miss Spookiness has been in a relationship for 9 months... She was drunk (not an excuse) and kissed with her friend (a boy)...
Feelings: Fear, shame but not guilt...
About her boyfriend: Doesn't want to break up with him... And not going to tell the truth...
About her friend: He says he is in love with her... And Miss Spookiness wants to remain friends with him if possible...
How should this end?
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|  | | Odd Bod Mod Forum Guide Mentor
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12-15-04
It depends on a few factors really...
Firstly is your friend the kind to get weird over the whole situation and end up telling your partner? If so it would be best to tell your partner yourself and get the whole thing out in the open.
You also say being drunk is not an excuse, if it's not then you really need to look at why you did it in the first place or you may find it happening again and get into a mess you cannot get out of without doing a lot of damage to yourself and those you say you care for.
Personally I think that if you really care about your partner you should be honest with him because so far you haven't been.
But that's just my opinion...
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12-15-04
It stikes me that if you don't feel guilty, you can't be that much in love with your boyfriend, and maybe just with him out of habit.
I judge everything by how I would feel if it happened to me.
How would you feel if your boyfriend kissed another girl?
If you wouldn't be that bothered, you shouldn't be with him.
If you do love your boyfriend dearly be very careful with the truth, as people that tell it just to clear their own conscience are being selfish. If it is never, ever going to happen again, him knowing won't make his life any better. If you think there is a reason this happened and it needs discussing, you need to be honest with him.
And be honest with the friend too, tell him you just want to be frinds. Although, I'd be amazed if you could be friends after all this, not for a while anyway.
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| | | Unfolding
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12-15-04
It strikes me that you're a bit dumb. If you didn't have feelings for your friend you wouldn't have kissed him, ditto if you really loved your boyfriend.
A golden energy
Was rising out of my head
I shed my evil skin
And found myself again
I was wrong, I don't mind
The impossible seems possible
This time I'm an electric wire
If the sun can radiate then so can I
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12-15-04
ZING!!!
I think you drew blood there.
Kudos.
Harsh, but true and concise.
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| | | Spikes Personal Stalker
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12-15-04
tell your b/f, even if you think it isnt going to happen again, you b/f should still be allowed the choice to whether he wants to remain with you or not.
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| | | Soi.
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12-15-04
Just be honest to the poor fellow.
I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one I’ve seen in my dreams.
I just can’t keep it inside
I’ve gotta say what I wanna say
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12-16-04
Thanks for all the advice...
*I think my friend won't be telling what happened to anyone... He has told one of our friends that he is in love with someone... That's all... In case he would tell my boyfriend I'd say I didn't tell for I didn't want to hurt him...
*I know it's not going to happen again so I'm not going to tell my boyfriend... It was a one time, I've never done anything like this before and I'm just leaving it behind... People do mistakes....
*I have to tell my friend I can't see him for a while, I'm not in love with him and I want to stay with my boyfriend...
Feeling: Hopeful...
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| | | Divine Object of Hatred.
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12-16-04
Honesty = best policy, no matter what.
As far as should it end, that is something only the two of you (you and your b/f) can decide. I mean, it IS possible to work something like this out (not easily, I should add). Question your mistake...have you learned anything from it? Is there any chance that your b/f will be able to truly talk the situation out with you and be willing to work past it? Do you think he will truly be able to forgive you (and I don't mean just say the words "I forgive you") and that you will be able to be sorry (and not just say "sorry" but do what it takes to earn back his trust and not repeat and to learn from your error in judgment)? On the other hand, can you honestly and truly live with not telling him (guilt can be a pervasive thing, and like the old saying goes, "you are only as sick as your secrets")? These are things you might want to think about.
I can say this...(from my perspective anyway) drunk or not, something is/was going on within you or your relationship that prompted you to kiss your friend. Only you would know what that is. People who are in even solid relationships still get tempted, yes; after all, we are all only human. The dividing line comes with what you DO about those urges, and I would think someone confident and feeling good about what is going on with themselves and their relationship would be most likely to exercise restraint of their impulses realizing that there is a larger reward in doing so.
Good luck, no matter what happens.
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12-16-04
Thanks... Perhaps I'm too afraid to tell to him... I don't know what I am afraid... Deep inside I know we would be able to work it out... I don't know if I've learn anything I haven't been able to get any sense in my mind...
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| | | Soi.
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12-16-04
Youare afraid of getting him hurt cause you love him as a friend...
You will work it out, just take the first step... 
I want to live in a world of peace
Without conflict, like the one I’ve seen in my dreams.
I just can’t keep it inside
I’ve gotta say what I wanna say
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12-16-04
The truth is a very powerful thing and although it's what most people deserve, for those that can't handle it, it can be devastating. In many situations in life people don't want to know the truth, and it's best they don't know.
I would tell him if it's relevant, if he would be able to process it without jumping off a bridge, or like a friend of mine who told her boyfriend that she had sex just this one, drunk time with another guy, went round therre and nearly killed the guy, and did time in prison for it.
You know you boyfriend and how he feels about these things. Ask him something vague and hypothetical about his opinions on knowing the truth, if he suspects you and asks, tell him, if he changes the subject, shut up.
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12-22-04
...the lady should make up her own mind and decide whom she likes best...then go for it...it's as easy as that...
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01-03-05
I told my boyfriend... He didn't say a thing... He wasn't angry or anything... He just didn't care...
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01-03-05
That's rather alarming.
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01-03-05
I'd take that as an 'Ok, that gives me the go ahead to shag that hot-chick I've been schmoozing'.
A golden energy
Was rising out of my head
I shed my evil skin
And found myself again
I was wrong, I don't mind
The impossible seems possible
This time I'm an electric wire
If the sun can radiate then so can I
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01-03-05
Indeed.
And it proves he doesn't care.
Indifference is a bitch.
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01-03-05
Worse than obvious hatred.
A golden energy
Was rising out of my head
I shed my evil skin
And found myself again
I was wrong, I don't mind
The impossible seems possible
This time I'm an electric wire
If the sun can radiate then so can I
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| | | Spikes Personal Stalker
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01-03-05
im just hoping he has been fucking behind her back, might make her think twice before she does it to someone else.
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| | | Live. Love. Life. DIE! Forum Guide Mentor
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01-03-05
Quote: |
Originally Posted by Blood & Fire Honesty = best policy, no matter what.
| This is all that really needs to be said. | |
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