I'm beginning to have a rough time with my kid. (aka my boyfriends little brother) He moved down here from Mass and has been going to school here and living with me. But he feels as if he has to live up to his brother and his father and it's putting to much pressure on him mentaly. He says he doesn't want to be like his brother, turn down a free ride to the best college in Mass and join the military. He has goals but I think he lets all the emotional bullshit get in the way. He is worried about his brother in Iraq, he's worried his brother and I will break up. He's worried his girlfriend will break up with him and he's worried about his father's drinking problem. He dropped out when he was a freshman, got a job and realized he made a mistake. The beginning of this school year he wanted to go back and he came here, he's an honor roll sudent for cryin' out loud! I wish he's take into consideration he's almost 18, he's a freshman in highschool... he only has this chance now, there won't be a 3rd try. Any modivational advice?

tell him he just has to make it until 18, and then his dad has no power over him, especially if he no longer lives there...

or tell him the story of my brother...he was an honor roll student, dropped out of high school, two months before graduation, tried joining the marines, they arranged for him to get a highschool diploma and a choice to do anything in the marines because he had one of the highest scores on his military test...and he did nothing with it...chose to go the party route, ended up with almost four years in jail, living with a girl who left him after he turned into an abusive alcoholic working more than anything else and eventually ending up an abusive alcoholic living with a mexican woman, her three kids and neglecting his own birth child...living here with her mother.

he still has no high school diploma.

if he's that smart, he's got the world to choose from, college or not...there's many specialized schools he can choose from...tell him to live his life, how he wants to, but stress all he has to offer the world and help him realize there's more options to enjoy life successfully with a high school diploma...and he doesn't need to live up to anyone else's expectations but his...

i know too many people who missed out on some amazing opportunities for a concern of continueing school after high school, i was one.

hes almost 18 and hes still a Freshman? daaaayum.

His older brother turned down a full ride through one of the biggest colleges in Massachusettes. I can understand where he's coming from but I didn't do so well in school, I joined the military and I love my job. I didn't have to have straight A's... but I had to graduate. This kid is smart, he has potential to do anything he wants in life, he's just getting discouraged by stress. Things he shouldn't worry about. I'm his legal guardian but I am not his father. Their family has a certain "Standard" that has been passed down. Try to out do your father. He has to be better than the badest motherfucker above him. That's hard because I know my kid Jr and I know his father. I'm thinking maybe switching to day shift and working while he's at school, then seeing if during the summer he'd be willing to go to night school during summer vacation. It's worth talking about, but thank you for your advice, I'm sure I'll bring that up.

I also thought about taking him to the unemployment office in the early mornings. It's rather depressing how many homeless people stand outside their door. Maybe if he sees what could happen to him if he doesn't have an education he could recover. Or I could just have a whole squad of drill instructors come to my house and eat him up. I don't think he'd like that, but it'd scare the shit out of him and scare the modivation back in. Haha.

Thanks again Jordyn

yeah, he had to move down here to NC because Mass wouldn't let him go back into school because he dropped out. He would've had to catch up with his classes in an alternative school before he could go back, but he should be a senior this year. NC schools allowed him to come in without catching up for courses, so it works out.

it was my pleasure.

another thing you could do is take him to your local college, they have placement tests that will assess his abilities and let him receive a list of jobs that would be ideal for his skills and interests.

having lived both sides of the coin and spending time on both sides, i respect nothing more than a young person who has a desire to improve themself with school...and dread hearing them say they don't want to.

Hmmm good idea, I may have to drag him to the community college. Maybe it'd give him a wake up call for what he could do if he doesn't finish school... or what he may have to settle for.

What I'm gathering from your post is that he does not want to follow in his fathers/brothers footsteps and join the defence force. In that case he will be feeling like he is a disappontment to them all. He sounds like a very sensitive soul, being so concerned about everyone around him but himself.
Education will give him more choices/freedom.
Setting goals and writing up a dream plan for him may help give him more vision and direction. Write down all he loves to do and the things he excels at and use that as the building blocks for setting a plan.
If he is feeling depressed, which there seems to be a few signs of, take him down to do some volunteer work at the childrens hospital or some other service.
Let him be aware that the only way he can help anyone in his family, at this stage, is by helping himself.

Here's four word that will motivate him; Uncle Sam's Misguided Children