I guess, if I were to be all philosophical and pragmatic , I'd say tsomething profound about my present life situation, like, I am entering a new phase of my life's journey that requires new lessons and asks something more of me than before. Actually, a Goth friend of mine suggested to me that my luck is about to change...and I might even wind up with sixes or even sevens on my loaded dice of life luck. I told him, that happens and I must really be an angel! Also said, if he's right, I'll convert to anything you like. Heh.

My dilemmas are numerous. I could write an entire gothic novel all of my own, based on my life experiences. Perhaps tomorrow, but not today...

Two key decisions...whether or not to have serious surgery...and whether or not to pursue certain romantic ties. Both not exactly no-brainer probs.

Yep, indecision and I are on intimate, up close and personal terms.

Any advice on either of the above issues would be gladly, darkly, contemplatively appreciated. Merci beaucoup....

Snugs
Angelfilth

we'll need more to go on than whether or not to have serious surgery...and whether or not to pursue certain romantic ties. if you want help.

like what is the nature of the health problem, why are you against it etc?

My apologies for being so vague. I too am in NZ, btw.

More to go on? Well, here goes. I was born with a lot of medical problems, and I've had a lot of corrective surgery throughout my life. My upcoming surgery (if indeed I decide to go ahead) will be serious surgery number eight. Now, you may be wondering...well she's had surgery in the past...where's the difficulty?. True, most of my surgery has been done in my childhood. However, now that I'm an adult, there are additional considerations. The serious surgery I am facing is to correct a major deformity as well as re-revise earlier surgical procedures. It'll be bigger and more complicated than anything I've ever faced. As with any surgery, there are a number of accepted risks and potential complications. And...the technologies and the techniques are new...so I'll be something of a guinea pig...metaphorically speaking, I'd hope, heh. I have to be prepared for facing significant physical scarring, ongoing pain and up to a year of intensive rehab.

At the moment, I'm at Med School completing a Masters degree, by thesis. My name could come up for surgery at any time.

As to the romantic ties, I am very much also 'in limbo' right now. I'm 'in love' with someone,...only to have them say that they can't care about anyone else other than themselves. Which is understandable, only I feel as if I've lost/am losing my investment in my feelings. Does that make ANY sense or am I rambling yet again?.

I'm feeling lost and without direction...and for the first tiime in what has been a difficult life...discouraged and depressed. I did not ask to be born with all of my medical problems. And, I'm grateful to have survived this far. It is just that I simply crave happiness and security. Don't we all?.

Angelfilth

errr, well i am not certain about the surgery part, i mean like, if you MUST have it, then go for it. If its not necessary then dont. As for the other issue, ummm, i certainly dont think i would even consider something with someone who tells me that they cannot care about anyone other then themselves, but eh, thats just me. I mean, do you really want to be with someone who doesnt care about you? I dont think you would be too happy with that.

Yes go for someone that does care about people other then them selves. Cause if you get that then the person that your in love with will be there for you all the time. I hope that i kind of made sence. I don't think that i did. I'm also in space right know.

Thanks for your thoughts, one. You're right...kinda makes sense to only be with someone who returns your love and affection....in a selfless way. He says he's not being selfish, but I have some real difficultiies with accepting that from him. I figure, I deserve to be treated better than he is treating me. Dunno, maybe I missed something somewhere?.

As for the surgery, I will have to have it-if not through my own choice, then later...because it's becoming out of my hands, if ya know what I mean?

Anyways, thanks for your thoughts. You helped me out, and I appreciate it.

Angel flith

Thanks for your thoughts too, shy. I know what ya mean.

Angelfilth

thats good to hear. I hoped i could at least help a little to make you think. The things you say, i would certainly say you would be better off without that person, i know i wouldnt wanna be with someone like that. And as for the surgery, if you have to get it later anyways, may as well get it overwith now right? put off the waiting it out...i hate that part.

Your very welcome ~Plays with lighter.~
Look i have created fire.

oh my!

*bows to shy's fire*

eeeee! my hair's on fire.

angel, you know it's up to you. the surgery, you say you will have it sooner or later. does having it later make it more dangerous? if so, have it sooner. schoolling can wait. you can pick up where you left off normally.

and with the love thing, look out for yourself here. i don't mean be selfish, i mean look out for yourself so you're not putting yourself in a position to have your emotions played with unnceccesarily.

goodluck with it all


p.s. where in nz are you at?

[quote]Originally posted by masochist
[b]oh my!

*bows to shy's fire*

eeeee! my hair's on fire.

Yes we should all hail to my fire. Even though it only came from a black lighter. Oh well fire is fire.
~Gets a bucket of water and throws it on your hair.~
Sorry about that.
I guess that is what i get when i play with fire.

<--- Is in a stupid mood. But that shall pass.

~Gets back to being serious in your thread.~

fire gooood sorry, i'm getting off topic...

Even she worships my fire!

I RULE!

Masochist......I'm in Christchurch...where in NZ are you?. Thanks for your words of advice. Yes, having surgery later will be more dangerous....Getting out of School will be no picniic if push comes to shove.

Yep, the guy I love seems to be the sort who likes dangling the women in his life on an emotional string. It's a shame for him, because he has many other,good, rare wualities too. Oh, well...such is life....