Okay... So my daughter is 14 months old now and she is getting into everything... Sticking her hand in the VCR, breaking orniments, climbing, taking tantrums if I take objects away from her that she is not supposed to have etc....

Okay, the reason I posted on here, is because I would like advice on how to handle this.... I say "no" to her and she just goes back and does it.... I pick her up and move her out of the way and she just goes back to it.... She knows she is not supposed to touch some things and I shouted at her for the first time ever this morning which I did not like doing one bit....

I mean, what do you guys think I should do? I mean, should I tap her on her hand? I really don't want to start tapping her on her hand everytime she does something naughty.... I don't ever want to shout at her again but I just dunno what to do....

How do you guys handle children that are far too inqusitive and don't listen when you say 'no'? I mean, can anyone help me with this?

*My sister has two children and back in the day they were very unruly, it was near impossible to get them to listen. They were only one year in age apart so they went through their " I don't want to listen" age together. My sister nearly lost hope with those two, because she was clueless as to what to do. She disliked yelling, like you, and didn't want to resort to a swift smack on their ass either.

*Then she discovered the art of rewarding them for good behavior. Whenever they did something helpful, or listened she gave them a reward. Not anything like a cookie, or food-like treat that would be gone in a matter of minutes and most likely forgotten; she either gave them praise, which made them glow just to be appreciated and treated like a big "boy/girl", or something small which they could play with and enjoy.

*My sister also took away something they held dear when they were being the worst. Like when my neice broke a plate off the dinner table my sister made her say "toot a loo" to her favorite doll for a day, it shocked little Megan into good behavior and she most certainly gained respect for dinnerware that day. My sister made sure to sternly explain why their bad deeds were indeed bad and/or dangerous, but never yelled. Her children tended to tune out yelling.

*I suggest trying this with your daughter, praise and appreciation for good deeds kicked the little devils out of my sister's children, maybe it will work with your daughter. Good luck

I've heard that having a 'quiet chair' or a 'quiet room/area' where the kiddy has to go and sit alone works well.
You tell her no once, she disobeys again and she has to go there. If they have more than one chance it kind of undermines your authority.

Does she have her own room, or is there a room she could go in without any toys or fun things you could take her to?

You set a time limit for the quiet place, usually 5-10 minutes, and if they try to talk to you you ignore them, don't say a word, and if they try to escape then you just take them back there until they have sat or stood quietly in that area for the full length of time without a fuss.

It'll take a bit of time to make it work, but people I've spoken to seem to have found it quite effective, and better than shouting which gives them the attention they were trying to elicit from being naughty.

The worst thing for a child is to be isolated, and they're fast learners.

I found the quiet place didn't work for me. Whenever my parents sat my little tush down in a chair all alone I didn't really mind because I was sitting comfortably and I always found something to fix my little eyes on and amuse myself with. My Father dropped that punishment and resorted to putting me in the corner. He made me stand there and face the wall and think about what I did. Well it sure as hell worked with me, I hated that corner and I snapped out of my bad ways early as a child. That's why I'm such a little angel now

I taught Anthony that there can and will be consequences for his actions. If he did something wrong, he got punished for it and it stuck. If i were in your position, I would tell her once and if it continued id... you fill int eh blank...i don't know your kid so i don't know what would work. Don't back down from it and if she does do it again, stick to your guns and punish her. I am not saying, nor do i condone hitting a child, but some punishment has to be handed out. Take away her favorite toy, take her favorite TV show away, ground her to her room...stuff like that. I have found it works for me, and have learned that discipline is often necessary and needs to be enforced.

I don't think smacking is a good idea, but shouting is sometimes unpreventable, because even parents are humans and goodness knows kids can be a nightmare. Whatever works for you really Lenina. I don't believe in taking things away, but then it never happened to me and I've not done it to any of the kids I've looked after so I haven't seen its effects.

it never happened to me either, but it was good as a punishment and I have hit my oldest son once, and only once in 7 years so...

A smack was the normal punishment for me as a child. Back then it was acceptable, all my friends were smacked.
It's when a parent leaves you with bruises, actually hurts you (rather than a smack which stings a little and shocks you) that it's bad.

I've a volatile temper, so I wouldn't smack my (hypothetical) kids for fear of losing it. I'd need a room to shut myself in and scream when they drove me nuts and maybe when I came out they'd have stopped.

I haven't tried taking away her favorite things yet.... I don't understand her sometimes, she knows it wrong but does it anyway. Its not as if I don't want her to break anything, I just don't want her hurting herself. I think I may give that a go actually, taking away her comfort blanket may work if she is naughty.... She just seems to take after me with the temper and stubborness...... I should try to be more understanding towards her wwanting to know what these things are and making it aware to her that they are dangerous but explaining things to a one year old is pretty difficult... Heh, so taking her favorite thing away from her as punishment may just work...

Anthony at times wouldn't put his toys away before bed, so I told him one night if you don't put away your toys, whats left gets thrown out. He didn't put his toys away so I took the toys he left out and hide them after Saph persuaded me not to through them out. He got up in the morning and was very upset I had "thrown" his toys out. He got them back a few weeks latter, with a promise the next time... He only needs to be told once now to put his toys away now.

BTW, Anthony has my temper, just waiting to see what traits Daemon takes from me now...

I have nochildren so who am I to give advice...
But I had development psychology at uni in the past
It's normal at that age to be inquisitive, feel things, and test limits
At 14 months I don't think sending to a room will help, too young for that
A lot of patience and keep taking things away that she shouldn't have, saying NO in a low voice, plus eyecontact and coming down to her level.

When she is older and understands consequences of bad behavior better, you can try a naughtymat or naughtycorner, where she has to stay for 2 minutes, (ignore any screams or tantrums) then you go to her and explain that this was not acceptable, down on her level and eyecontact, she has to apologise and then can go back to playing.
Do this consequent and it works, but she's too young for this now I think.

I have never tried to punish Sorcha yet, I get worried incase she will hate me for it, she is only a year old so it is hard for me really to punish her when she just looks at me crying after carry her out of the way of the VCR when she sticks her hand in it. I was told off one of my friends that I am "too soft" with her, it may well be the case but everytime I move her out the way and takes a tantrum, I pick her up and hug her...

I have been told to just leave her and I have been told off of others to restrain her so she doesn't do any damage to herself and it is supposed to help with her calming down when you restrain them from moving when they are flailing around and losing their temper. I have done neither because I just hate it when she cries and I hate it when I have to say no... I do know however, if I do not start punishing her when she does something wrong, she will grow to think that she can get away with anything and I really don't want that.

How old was Your son Anthony when you started punishing him for being naughty? I am just curious of when I should start inforcing the rules, I don't want to leave it too late for her to learn but I also don't want to be seen as the enemy to her.... If you know what I mean...

Restraining her sounds a bit dramatic, I think it would be even more frustrating for her if she cannot/is not allowed to express her feelings/frustration, especially at such a young age.
(or does she really hit her head against the wall on purpose or pull out hair or anything like that? if that's the case I would advice to talk to someone about it)

She won't hate you for saying no, they seek out and test limits, because they need limits.
It gives stability to know what you can and cannot do.
It sounds to me that you're doing alright with saying no and taking the things away. Just be consequent. no means no, tantrums won't effect your decision.

How do you pronounce your daughter's name? I have a feeling I'm saying it right, but I want to make sure.

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a smack on the butt's not a horrible thing as long as it's a simple smack on the butt. it's the fact that you were angry enough to resort to that which wises a kid up, not the "pain" inflicted. hell i don't remember ever getting a spankin that actually hurt. it was the fact that i did something that bad that mom/dad would be this upset.
and a spankin has to be a very seldom thing, because a smackin on the toosh that's done correctly is actually very easy for a kid to get past and say "that doesn't bother me".

the majority of the time, i was put in my room. but i had plenty of spankings and it never made me "prone to violence, bla bla". pain happens and a kid knows her parents still love her. there's a line between discipline and abuse that people have stepped on so much that it's faded and hazy.

14 months is young to start any major program. I'm sure loads of people will disagree, but I remember trying 'time outs' and the like at that age, and she had no idea what I was doing. She got into my bag and ripped up some money once, and I told her no and made her sit on the bottom step, and she just got up, and I kept telling her to sit back down, and she wouldn't stay, they just don't get it. I tapped her on the hand and she didn't register I'd done anything. Just looked at me.

Rewarding good behaviour is the way to go, but at 14 months, as you know, they can't really tell the difference between good and bad, and explaining doesn't help, they just look at you blankly. I made my face harsh (tone didn't work, she was deaf as a baby) and tried to discourage her, and once she was coming up two, I was able to make her understand.

I think the key to punishment is that it has to count. My daughter would now happily sit on a naughty step for hours, she's probably just sing to herself or take a nap. Our disapproval upsets her, but not enough to make her not do things again. She has a sticker chart for good behaviour, and major bad behaviour results in toy removal. I tell her, just when she's really getting too much and won't behave, that it she continues the 'Playmobil' or 'My Little Pony' box will end up in the garage for a week. That works, as well as TV depravation.

I don't think you're being too soft Neena, she's still just a baby, now is the time for hard words and head shaking, she won't truly grasp much else. The things she's doing are 'innocent' naughty things, things that she needs teaching about. I save punishment for deliberate 'disobedient' naughty things.

As much as i'm not into physical reprimands as punishment.. i must add one comment to the earlier one made..

If you slap the childs hand and it doesn't make them 'start', then it was like playing paddy-cake and has no effect.. I am not saying smack em hard or leave a bruise. Just don't tap their hand and think they'll understand..
Now tapping their hand and in a loud firm voice saying "NO" might work better.. But mean it when you say it!! If i hear you say that to your kid and i don't look to see if a backhand is gonna follow, then it wasn't said firmly enough!!!