since I woke this morning I have been so sad,

I have a 2 year old daughter who is my world my heart and a good part of my soul,
well right now she is with her father and the hardest part about it is I just recently moved from Alaska(where she is) to Missouri to take this job and all alroud better myself but I hate being so far away fom her.

It's been almost a year since he took her from and I hate all this custody
bullshit and I'm trying to fly her down her for a visit so she canbe her around the time her brother is born but her father is all like "well I don't have money to do blah blah blah" that although I have offered to pay her ticket and half of his an top of my round trip ticket to fly there and pick her up. but he has been saving for a trip to europe to go to missonary school.

he used to be an etremely awesome guy until he left me for religion and an ex who lives in poland,(who dumped him a month later.)

nobody really has to reply to this I just needed to get of my chest.
my beautiful Lavinya.

Good luck with your happiness and remember things change in time *hug*

Would you ever want your arm to be cut off? No. Family, especial children, are a part of your soul. My advice is strange: Try not to care, but also try to give as much as you can and be as near as you can to the other. Practicality is above right and wrong. I hope that you find a way to survive this shit. Well, i feel for you and really care and hope you get a solution soon. Never give up!
Much love~

WHOA! That's a huge statement. Care to elaborate?

BTW welcome to DF.

Oh, yes. My LoveMachine. Welcome.

it's more practical to nuke several countries than it is to invade and democratize them... but we don't.

it's more practical to make certain people second-class citizens and exploit them for their labor... but we try not to.

while such grand, sweeping statements are the stuff teh intarwebs are made of, it doesn't earn you points.

Move back to Alaska or find a way to move your ex or whatever to where you are. You cant leave your home and go a 1000 miles away then blame someone else about the distance.

And that has what to do with this thread??

We have been talking (her father and I) and they are both coming for a visit in march and I am going to try really hard to get him to comprimise a custody deal with me but the harder i try the harder he seems not too.
I have been talking with my bosses and they think i should just take him to court they are both doctors and believe that with their testimony it would make it hard to rule against me.
but being 6 months pregnant I don't know if I need that much more stress at this time.
thanx for the support guys it means a whole hell of a lot more than anyone could know.

not blaming him,
but I took this job to make my life better and before i left he was like no go and yeah she can come visit and fed me all kinds of bullshit,
so actually i blame myself for believing all had to say.

Youre about to have another kid? Dont try to take his away. Thats totally wrong.

I'm not trying to take her from him just trying to have involvement in raising my daughter, she is after all the reason I am not into the drugs that iwas into the reason I am still breathing probably,

plus he is insanely pentecostal and I don't neccessarily agree with a lot of the way he raising her.
I am all for him having her, just not all to himself he is her father but I am her mother and later on in life I believe she is going to need me a lot more than she is going to need him.


Plus he is all like she can't wear pants can't cut her hair can't peirce her ears cant wear makeup.
I just want her to have the freewill that god intended for us.

Don't know how much sense that made, but all in all Billy I am not trying to take her from him.

he ment you being pregnant again is wrong, though i don't know why.

No offense, but youre making him sound like a monster and you moved far away. Now youre talking about a custody battle. I mean... youre saying 1 thing but it sounds like youre doing another. Its not my business, but It SEEMS to me that thats what youre doing. From a males perspective it would be a rotten thing to do to the guy.

She needs you more than him? Says who? Girls need a father. Its where they 1st learn about men. girls without a strong and loving male role model have a higher chance of being sad when thier older because they keep looking for love in the wrong places.

I think you should find a compromise, maybe move a little closer to home where you came from so niether of you have to miss your child. Its not fair to move far away then expect him to deal with it.

No I didnt mean that, I meant that trying to take the kid away from her ex is wrong. She moved, not the ex, she should make the effort to go back, not think about a bitter custody battle that will fuck the kid up.

THe fact that she is pregnant again now, compounds the issue. I really feel bad for her if the father of this one is living where she is now. Because in that case no matter where she goes shes going to either be away form 1 of her children, or one of the fathers if not both will be. A shitty situation all around.

im not sayin the kid doesnt need her father, but i do basicaly think what you just said is bollocks, being a female who's father left when i was the age of eight. where exactly do you get this stuff from?

and quite frankly, i think she is right when she says once the daughter is older she will need her more. i know i always prefered my mother over my dad.

It isnt bolloks, its been an issue for sometime. I didnt say it was definate, I said it was a higher chance. This has been common knowledge for some time. Children actually need both a mother AND a father, but Girls growing up without a dad especially early on make all thier distinctions aobut men from thier dads. Maybe you were lucky your dad left when you were 8... you had a while to get to know gim, I can remember lots of shit when I was 8.

And preferences dont matter. Although you may think they do. Then again your dad did leave when you were young so I can see why youd choose your mother.

This might be an interesting read.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/074...lance&n=283155

i picked my mother while he was still living with us because of his actions, so if this guy really is as bad as she makes out chances are she'll probaly pick her mother as soon as she is able to.

though i still think this sucks for both the parents, and i hope the pair of them can work something out without court cases.

For the sake of the kids I wish that ONE of the parents would swallow thier pride and move closer to the other one. Kids do MUCH MUCH better with 2 parents in the home rather than flying back and forth. Considering though that she left to take a new job far away it should be her to go back.