Guess what? I need some opinions, DF is damn good for that, help me out! - Page 3 - Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions

SOLACE · 09-07-04

Quote:

Originally Posted by renovate

That's my biggest issue with sex in a relationship, actually. I think it has to be a part of the relationship, but romance and communication and networking all have to take up their place on the pie-chart too. By networking I mean associating with other friends and couples outside of the house/bedroom/cheap motel, both alone and together.
I feel that it's a real problem when you feel the most important thing is sex and then the rest come after you do

...but then I'm a huge fan of balance, so maybe this approach isn't right for everyone.
As much as I love and nurture the sexual aspect of my relationships, I think a couple has to build on the rest first, or at least maintain and grow together in the other aspects to consider their relationship a healthy, loving, sustainable one.

Ooo, you open my eyes to something I like to address!

Networking! May I ask this, if you were the last and only person alive on Earth, this ol' planet...could you do wrong? Think about it! If no one is there to say it is then is it???

This aplys to this topic because, what if your network of friends don't see anything wrong with you being with a younger person, (Say 13-15) does that mean that its ok? After you answer that, answer this...what if it was ok by the city you live in as well...would it be ok? Where is it wrong?

Back to this post.

So Ducky, your a person of balance as well huh. Then I can use your imput, is it weird to like a hug more then a kiss? See I like to think I'm a person of balance too, so maybe you'll have insight for me?

renovate · 09-08-04

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOLACE

Ooo, you open my eyes to something I like to address!

Networking! May I ask this, if you were the last and only person alive on Earth, this ol' planet...could you do wrong? Think about it! If no one is there to say it is then is it???

No. other people's opinions in general don't make anything "right" , "wrong", "good", "bad", "true", "false"
or anything else, for that matter. opinions are opinions, rules are rules, agendas are agendas, traditions are traditions...people sometimes don't have reasoning, solid foundations or even belief to back up what they have deemed right and wrong.
Right and wrong are a thing for debate, because of the systems of morals and ethics that we've all been exposed to or raised in, but just because it's what you're used to doesn't mean it's the be-all-and-end-all.

If you're the two last people on earth, it's up to your own moral code and disgression (it would take a lot of thinking to make the "right choice") where you go with a relationship...

What if you want it to be more like a brother-and-sister type relationship, but you know that to save the species you have to procreate?

What if all you want is hot sex all the time, (possibly in the strangest places you can think of because there's nobody around to tell you not to)...but you don't want the responsibility of children, or you want the species to die for good?

It's a personal matter, for both you and the other party...age is still a big part of it, in the sense of development (too young) or fertility (too old). But you complicate things when you bring the "last person" issue into question.

Morals in my opinion should be based as much on reason as emotion...whatever feels wrong or hurts someone (even you) is wrong, and feels right, and you have sound reasoning for why it's not wrong, isn't. I don't know that anything's really "right". many things are just "acceptable"

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOLACE

This aplys to this topic because, what if your network of friends don't see anything wrong with you being with a younger person, (Say 13-15) does that mean that its ok?

Those are just your friends, if they thought it was alright to give an 8 year old crack cocaine, would that make it ok?

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOLACE

After you answer that, answer this...what if it was ok by the city you live in as well...would it be ok? Where is it wrong?

Same deal. What if it was ok to spank children? doesn't mean you're going to be comfortable with it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOLACE

Is it weird to like a hug more then a kiss? See I like to think I'm a person of balance too, so maybe you'll have insight for me?

That's a matter of preference, I don't think it's a matter of balance, really. it's not like: "i must have 4 kisses and 8 hugs a day" and then: "oh no, too many hugs!!" I think in this case, you'd have to balance hugs, kisses and cuddling on the one hand with sex (intercourse, foreplay, etc) on the other for it to be a balance worth maintaining.
Then again, if you like hugs more than kisses, you're more likely to hug the person than kiss them whenever the urge strikes, so that when you do kiss them, it seems more intimate or special, which can make it equally as enjoyable. Maybe that's the way to call it into the balance.

Uncletiggs · 09-08-04

Quote:

Originally Posted by velvet

Percentage wise, I'm not sure.

I think you're terribly wrong, Tiggr. Some of the best relationships of mine have started with sexual encounters first. Sex can make or break a relationship, so it IS a big deal. If the guy wants 2 blowjobs a week and his girl won't stick it in her mouth, how far do you think its going to go? And it's not that the guy has a problem, their sexual personalities just don't mesh. Not alot of sex can be cool with some couples, but I know that there are alot of people in this world, myself included, that just NEEDS sex to be a part of their lives. In my eyes, after a while has passed during the relationship, sex has to happen. It all depends on how fast the couple is moving, of course, but I'm just saying that if a guy I went out with had no interest in having sex, we would probably become very emotionally close, but I know that I need sex, so I'd just end up "cheating" on him. Am I alone in this, or are there others like me? I'm thinking the majority of people are like me, Tigg.

But to you, Solace, I'm not sure percentage wise. For my horny little brain, it's a big number. And for those of you that think you can't have and hold a strong relationship with a person when there is sex involved, you're wrong. It's not like I'll be having so much sex that we couldn't get a word through to each other besides "Harder!"

And therein lies the point i made..... Yes, a relationship can start out from sex, and even have problems pertaining to sex.. But if there is no 'emotional' attachment, then it is just that... And can never grow beyond that...

Wereas if it does grow beyond that(sex). Then sex becomes the secondary item that the relationship gets based on.. So again i state that if the relationship is based on sex, then it is doomed to fail.....

I would ask you if you are, or have been, in an LTR that is solely based on sex that has emotion and family type thoughts as a secondary base.. Meaning that sex is the priority item in the relatioship.. I should note that the BSDM faction should not be included in the equasion... They are a minority group......

SOLACE · 09-09-04

Quote:

Originally Posted by renovate

No. other people's opinions in general don't make anything "right" , "wrong", "good", "bad", "true", "false"
or anything else, for that matter. opinions are opinions, rules are rules, agendas are agendas, traditions are traditions...people sometimes don't have reasoning, solid foundations or even belief to back up what they have deemed right and wrong.
Right and wrong are a thing for debate, because of the systems of morals and ethics that we've all been exposed to or raised in, but just because it's what you're used to doesn't mean it's the be-all-and-end-all.

If you're the two last people on earth, it's up to your own moral code and disgression (it would take a lot of thinking to make the "right choice") where you go with a relationship...

What if you want it to be more like a brother-and-sister type relationship, but you know that to save the species you have to procreate?

What if all you want is hot sex all the time, (possibly in the strangest places you can think of because there's nobody around to tell you not to)...but you don't want the responsibility of children, or you want the species to die for good?

It's a personal matter, for both you and the other party...age is still a big part of it, in the sense of development (too young) or fertility (too old). But you complicate things when you bring the "last person" issue into question.

Morals in my opinion should be based as much on reason as emotion...whatever feels wrong or hurts someone (even you) is wrong, and feels right, and you have sound reasoning for why it's not wrong, isn't. I don't know that anything's really "right". many things are just "acceptable"

Those are just your friends, if they thought it was alright to give an 8 year old crack cocaine, would that make it ok?

Same deal. What if it was ok to spank children? doesn't mean you're going to be comfortable with it.

That's a matter of preference, I don't think it's a matter of balance, really. it's not like: "i must have 4 kisses and 8 hugs a day" and then: "oh no, too many hugs!!" I think in this case, you'd have to balance hugs, kisses and cuddling on the one hand with sex (intercourse, foreplay, etc) on the other for it to be a balance worth maintaining.
Then again, if you like hugs more than kisses, you're more likely to hug the person than kiss them whenever the urge strikes, so that when you do kiss them, it seems more intimate or special, which can make it equally as enjoyable. Maybe that's the way to call it into the balance.

Whao! Easy there...its almost like you making it seem like I'm living the questions I ask...I am just asking them for conversation sake, thats all.

As for the balance thing...to clear it up it wasn't that I believe I have to have this number of hugs and that number of kisses...its just that you said your a person of balance and I think so am I (Meaning that maybe we may think similar) And that maybe you might like hugs more then kisses. Thats all.

As for the topic at hand, I can agree with you. I don't really thik others should have power over your moral codes and values...unless you wish them to. but thats not something many like to wish. I only ask these questions because I feel somewhere they add to the conversation. And it did...yet again morals of outsiders fail to matter. Thats what it seems to be. That if it iis ok by the relationship, then thats all that counts. Within some limits, one being law and so forth. Thats all I was getting at.

I think its good that we're all pretty much on the same page. If its not hurting anyone and its not going to make you go to jail over it then its fine! So far thats the only things that halts relationship really in the view of most DFers. Law and if it hurts someone! Outside of that, its fare game! Ahh and the billion of other things as well...

"Sigh"

This is one hell of a good convo to me tho!

renovate · 09-09-04

I wasn't spazzing, I just love to write elaborate replies

All the "you"s and "hers" are just for convenience, really...

Damn right this is a good conversation, but that being said, it'll probably die now, lol.

And actually, in ninth grade I developed a strange abhorrence for hugs. I'd react violently whenever someone hugged me, especially from behind. I frequently kicked my ex boyfriend in the shin out of reflex when I first started dating him, and I remember more than once elbowing other in the stomach when I was surprised from behind...not quite as pleasant as they expected it to be, haha. I'm pretty much over it now, but i still get stiff and shrink away from strangers or new friends when they try to hug me...

So to make a long story short, i like kisses better, even though I feel that hugs are more intimate.

SOLACE · 09-09-04

Quote:

Originally Posted by renovate

I wasn't spazzing, I just love to write elaborate replies

All the "you"s and "hers" are just for convenience, really...

Damn right this is a good conversation, but that being said, it'll probably die now, lol.

And actually, in ninth grade I developed a strange abhorrence for hugs. I'd react violently whenever someone hugged me, especially from behind. I frequently kicked my ex boyfriend in the shin out of reflex when I first started dating him, and I remember more than once elbowing other in the stomach when I was surprised from behind...not quite as pleasant as they expected it to be, haha. I'm pretty much over it now, but i still get stiff and shrink away from strangers or new friends when they try to hug me...

So to make a long story short, i like kisses better, even though I feel that hugs are more intimate.

See thats what I feel too...they seem to feel more intimate! I love kisses too, just hugs are what feels the best to me! Heart beat to heart beat, "Sigh" yeah I'm lame but so what!

I was thinking, what if DF had that age thing? Ya know, prove your age before sign up? I hate that thing?

renovate · 09-09-04

That would be retarded. (sorry that i have to immediate reasoning for that)
One of the best (or worst, if you're a paranoid parent) things about the internet is the anonymity and ability to portray yourself as whoever and whatever you want. Sure there are immature people that we could all do without here at DF, but who's to say they aren't a lot older just pretending to be a pain in the ass because it's just plain fun for them. Sometimes being too honest online is a bad thing.
Besides, there are a lot of incredibly intelligent younger teens that I like to talk with, I love their fresh opinions and "untainted" views on things...besides, I was one of those a couple of years ago too, but not accepted into some of the "serious discussions" due to the age on my profiles...simply because of a number.
I think, other than for safety issues (sexual predators, underage porn viewers etc.) people should be able to join discussion groups and online communities wherever they want without being restricted by age. But then I'm a fan of that sort of freedom.

Uncletiggs · 09-09-04

Heh, heres one for ya...

Guy here in Utah was arrested the other day.. The charge was contributing to the delinquincy of a minor(his daughter), child endangerment, possesion of pornographic material(a biggy here), receiving pornographic material(the stuff on his hard-drive), and conspiracy to commit statutory rape... And so far they are sticking to their guns on these charges..

Now, heres the story behind it....

It seems his young teenage daughter(14ish i believe) was soliciting sex over the internet using his computer... She did it mostly when he was at work, and never when he was around... The cops pulled a sting, and she told them "yeah, my dad knows" and of course the child pimping herself would never lie... would she??

After looking at phone logs, his work schedule, ect., they can see that these things happened when he was NOT around.. But hey, it's his daughter, so HE is responsible for her wanting to have sex at her age.. He must have known that while he was working, she was using his comp to set sex dates with older guys..

So the question becomes: IS he responsible for her having sex with older guys, or is she responsible??

renovate · 09-09-04

shiiiit...

It's obvious that they're both in trouble, but to what extent?

Let me think on this one for a while.

SOLACE · 09-09-04

Quote:

Originally Posted by renovate

That would be retarded. (sorry that i have to immediate reasoning for that)
One of the best (or worst, if you're a paranoid parent) things about the internet is the anonymity and ability to portray yourself as whoever and whatever you want. Sure there are immature people that we could all do without here at DF, but who's to say they aren't a lot older just pretending to be a pain in the ass because it's just plain fun for them. Sometimes being too honest online is a bad thing.
Besides, there are a lot of incredibly intelligent younger teens that I like to talk with, I love their fresh opinions and "untainted" views on things...besides, I was one of those a couple of years ago too, but not accepted into some of the "serious discussions" due to the age on my profiles...simply because of a number.
I think, other than for safety issues (sexual predators, underage porn viewers etc.) people should be able to join discussion groups and online communities wherever they want without being restricted by age. But then I'm a fan of that sort of freedom.

Freedom is very nice if its not abused!

I was so stupid when I first made my debue here on the site. Not to say that I'm some harvard brain now but I'm not acting dumb, no I really am lol. Sad huh.

The internet is such a world of its own. That is for sure.

renovate · 09-10-04

a world of its own...definately...but the scary part is how it can absorb people so easily and they don't realize the difference. When the net becomes a 3-D-VR experience, (for which I have no doubt I'll see the technology before I die) people are probably going to starve to death or have atrophied muscles not realizing that they haven't been *actually* eating or moving around...and that's quite frightening.

SOLACE · 09-10-04

Quote:

Originally Posted by renovate

a world of its own...definately...but the scary part is how it can absorb people so easily and they don't realize the difference. When the net becomes a 3-D-VR experience, (for which I have no doubt I'll see the technology before I die) people are probably going to starve to death or have atrophied muscles not realizing that they haven't been *actually* eating or moving around...and that's quite frightening.

DF is a great example of that. It sucks you in. You come online its almost like you have to at least see the opening page of tthis place before you can move on!

God I can't wait for VR, to be honest I'm a speaker not a speller! My true glory may finaly shine then!

renovate · 09-11-04

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOLACE

DF is a great example of that. It sucks you in. You come online its almost like you have to at least see the opening page of tthis place before you can move on!

God I can't wait for VR, to be honest I'm a speaker not a speller! My true glory may finaly shine then!

I completely agree...but that can be said of any "welcoming" community online. I think that's because you feel like you're doing something productive, by communicating, and it's interesting because there are so many discussions to join or reasons to start topics about (not like email where you just write about your life or send crappy forwards to eachother)...it's almost like an interactive musings journal that answers you back and jump-starts your thought processes.

I think VR for me will be more about creating a domain than discussing things. I'm not a fan of chat rooms, so if the 3-d avatars just hang out in a "lounge" doing voice-chat with dragon heads and teddy bear bodies...I may stay away and stick to message boards...however... if they become actual cork-boards with post-its stuck to them, it may be more difficult to navigate!

Speaking of 3d avatars... Imagine how easy it would be to create an image that looks so much like you, but it isn't at all what you look like? For example, a young girl could duplicate herself perfectly and add a few bra sizes, or a guy could make himself look exactly the same as he did 20 years earlier.
It would be decieving...but how would you respond to it if you decided to meet in real life?

Void_enthroned · 09-11-04

Getting back to the original topic of the thread for a moment.

Why get into a relationship? There are only three constants.

1. The energy that composes all cycles.
2. The void around which all cycles revolve..
3. The aeons of time which contain all cycles.

Knowing this, why waste your time feeling anything for anyone? Why even make an attempt?

Getting to the topic of VR. I don't think people will die from it, unless they fall prey to that old trick of the mind. By thinking something is reality, the brain reacts to it as if it -were- reality. Say someone punches you in the face in VR. Your brain wouldn't be able to tell the difference and thus the nerves in your jaw would send pain signals to the brain and thus the jaw would hurt even though there is no real reason for it to do so. Likewise if you fell out a 37th story window in VR your brain would think the backbone broke and then you'd be dead.

renovate · 09-11-04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Void_enthroned

Getting back to the original topic of the thread for a moment.

Why get into a relationship? There are only three constants.

1. The energy that composes all cycles.
2. The void around which all cycles revolve..
3. The aeons of time which contain all cycles.

Knowing this, why waste your time feeling anything for anyone? Why even make an attempt?

Ah, but when you "fall in love" you don't do it on purpose...haha. It's a series of emotions that overtakes your normal, more rational, self...leading you to a small obsession and higher hormone levels. People who TRY to fall in love often fail miserably...or just get laid a lot without the relationship part coming into play.