Isn't it strange how the World changes. Those four years have past like blink of eye, they were good ones, filled with emotions and movement. Hell, was I so naive back there? Afraid of challange and jet always longing for an adventure. And now my first collage exams are about to beggin and I am turning twenty. It was nice to be kid but something deep in me is telling IT'S OVER. Well now I cannot go back it is real adventure that one called LIFE, finally. No I am not sad more eager just like before the first kiss, but still I am losing something. Well most of you don't remember me as I wasn't realy in that forum thing, but I was here wishing that some things never happned so wars won't come but they did. Jet still I belive we are the ones with choise even more now when I study Science of religion. No not even beautiful and wise Prof. Mary Bockover who shared her wisdom during my first two lessons of Dao can turn me into actionless guy. I don't dare call myself man because I am not real one. Jet part of me already works like that. Leaving things and people on their own. I AM LEAVING THEM. No more am I guardion of their path, their slaver more correctly. But who am I now? Student of LIFE? That was always my job, but what else? Do I need anything else? And why am I pushed so quickly, I developed more in months than I had before in years. Whatfor should I be prepared? And how can I fullfill all that I wish. Learn to play violin, study, herbalism, fencing, make my own clothes...earn money, cook,...and love...yes realy learn LOVE. At first I thought I would just ask you fellows, but I am at peace.
Perheps you could give me few tips how to fill MY time, perheps someone will recall our time here together and perheps when I am realy lucky few would add blessing of their own. Surely you have mine.
All what is left is to chose name but that choise is mine..... or isn't it?

You're kinda weird and you kinda creep me out...and you spell poorly, but that's okay...

I'm not entirely sure what kind of answer you're seeking, but maybe you're looking for a word to fit the state you are in at this time in your life.

How's the word "balance" sound? I'd say "stay focused on the important aspects in life" (emphasis on 'important') but Importance is a debatable word and it changes all the time within us, especially when we're young. So, basically, I wish you well in all your screw-ups that you'll make, cause I'm in the midst of one screwy and very shitty situation in my life, actually, but I'm still alive and that's all I can say.

It doesn't get better than this. Life sucks and pleasure never lasts long enough or if it does, it's usually always for bad reasons.

Boy, I'm a pessimist...sorry. This is supposed to be an "advice" section.

*cue someone else to write something helpful*

Nice of you, thanks. I try it with balance but its not it. Well my spelling is something that would never change. Yes I think I should concentrate on small yet important thing. At least thats what I remember about others, maybe I am not different at all. Well I failed in that exam thing at least for now. I can't say it dosen't matter but it is good that I didn't make it at first time.

Did anybody of you fell like burning all bridges is only choise? I now I must face it the sonner the better. And I now it will hurt my family and me is there a way to do it right...they will never let me go. On my own. For them I am only the little boy with wild imagination. Strange I pitty them. They lived for me and now I will be gone.....i now its ok but that is also death. I don't want to hurt them, but that is how life goes...hurting even in our birth and it should be that way. Pain is sign of life. But is there a good time to tell them-I am leaving!