Ok, my mom is trying to pressure me to applying to the same college she went to. I'm only a junior in highschool, and I understand that its time to start thinking about and looking at potential colleges and universities, but she's been putting this kind of pressure on me since about the time I started 6th grade! I don't want to go where she did! She was a business major at USC. I want to go to some arts school far away from Ohio! I want to get as far away from my home town as possible!

My mom can't, or won't, accept me for who and what I am. Everything I ever do, is wrong in her eyes. She tries to make me feel guilty for being just like my dad, a dreamer and artist who follows their heart without takin certain things into consideration. I know she looks at me and sees him within me. I think thats why I disgust her so much. She despises my dad now. His free spirit and her organized lifestyle just clashed. She's always telling me to get my head out of the clouds and that sends me spiraling back toward Earth into a harsh reality. And she wonders why I don't talk to her anymore. She doesn't understand that art and writing are my passions, just as they are my fathers'...

Anyway, is there anything that I can possibly do to try to open her eyes and let her enter my world with an open mind? I mean, I don't want her to be pissed at me b/c I made my own decision and went to a school that *I* wanted to go to, but honestly, if she's willing to lose her only daughter over something so petty, then that's her deal, but I don't want it to be like that.

Thanks to whoever replies to this

it seems to me... that your mother wants you to live her dream... something that she has never accomplished her self... so she does not want you to make that same misteak... just tell her that... that you want to live your own dream not hers...

or something like that...

yeah WHAT SHE SAID!!

A rather difficult situation... I'm not sure what would be the best way out, but I see only one and it is a difficult one. You should try to somehow explain it to her, that the path she offers is not for you, because you have problems in that area and it is not interesting for you and because of that you won't have any success with it, and that you should better take a different path that is more fitting for you. You should try to make her realize that because you are not like she is, the path she offers will not be as good for you. This may possibly lead to conflict at first, but I'm sure that you're mother cares more for you having a successful life then for you following her path, and will finally come to understand what is actually better for you.

After reading this, I must tell you that you don't need help, cause it looks like you already made a choice. The good thing is that your heart knows what's the best thing for you and you are willing to follow it. Good for you and good luck.

The best advice I can give:

listen to you. no one else's opinion is as important.

Yes, it seems you're set on a course of action.

I'm a Junior, and I have to be thinking about that stuff now. I really want to do something with music, and hell take anyone who stands in my way of acheiving my dream

It does sound like she wants you to be the chance she ended up blowing. And thats a common thing. But a large headache...Good luck.

just tell her to lay off. it's your life. she did her best and gave her suggestions, but you're going to live your life the way YOU want to live it. the only person you should be worried about making happy is yourself. honestly. tell her that it's your descision and yours alone. just take into consideration that moving away from home means being COMPLETELY on your own. i wanted to live on my own until just recently. i'll be 18 in a few months and i'm scared to death. sure, i mean growing up is great and all but just working and trying to make it through college... it's a whole new life. you are your own person and if your mother (of all people on this planet!) can't take you for what you are, then that's just too bad. it's her loss that she would try to distance herself or even go to the extents of conforming you into a mold of her. newsflash to her, you may be her daughter, but you are NOT her... not in any way and you are allowed to be yourself, and make your own choices.

good luck and blessed be,

skarllette

wow this is sorta like my problem im haveing only a little different she wants me to be the popular one the one that always wins the football games and wears colorful clothing.Noow im the kid that wears black and what she calls it mopeing around.She cant accept me for who i am and tells me im never going to get a good job with what im looking like.She thinks im a bad person even though im alot nicer than many other kids.Im sorry i dont really think i can help you since i need like the same help you do.The only advice i can give you is follow your heart thats what i do but its not gonna make your mom happy i know it doesnt make my mom to happy.

Be who you are and do what you want to do. In my mothers eyes

I was supposed to major in biochemistry (like her) and go to med school (like she always wished she had).

Hell NO! I hate chemistry with a passion.
So I went into engineering, Aerospace (another strike against me that my father is an engineer, and loves planes, but he didn't push me into it or anything, I wanted to do this).

But anyways, so my mom tried to get me to switch for the first two years of college and then gave up and accepted it.

Being on your own is kinda scary, but its also a lot of fun.

Go to the college you want to, be what you want to be, and if your mom loves you, she will accept you for who you are.

They say go for your dreams.but if you choose what your mother wants ,then its a nightmare ,not your dream.You need to do waht you want.Or everyday in collage and your occupation will be destroyed.Make YOUR dream cometrue ,not your moms.And tell her this even if u have to yell at her.good luck.

It does sound as though your mom is perhaps trying to change some choices she has made, through you.
However, it's also possible that she is seeing pitfalls ahead that you aren't aware of yet. Talk to her. Maybe she's seen the difficulty in trying to make a living through art?
You might be able to compromise, go to the school of your choice, but also learn some business. That never hurts anyone, no matter their field.

this all seems to happen alot... lucky for me all ihave to do is go to college and ive got her beat but its my sister. she is fucking aerospace engineer a damn rocker scientist and heres me... i am in the middle. i am decent at most everything A's in all my classes and i dont really even try i just do the work and i just kinda happens. also i dont really particularly enjoy anything but art and im not really all that great at it. i am supposed to know what i want to be "when i grow up" im a junior in HS and i am so lost and all i know i want to go to college but to do what is beyond me. the worst part is no one can tell me what i want to be except me and i dont know. blah anyways ur lucky and for the most part ur mom will understand in the long run so screw her. byes and have a great life doing what you love

Sounds a bit like my mother, except she smothers me and tries to control me not because she wants me to be 'serious' about life, but because she just wants me to be different.

I personally don't think you are going to be able to change her mind, and in a way don't try too hard. At some point she is going to have to agree to disagree and let you live your own life. She has to understand that you have your own path, and to control it is as wrong as if you were to control her life.

Accept and appreciate the fact that she wants the best for you (and even tell her this), and explain that you are not going to make rash decisions, but the decision you will make won't necessarily be the same one that she wants you to choose when the time comes.

I found that the best way to tell my mother the same, without feeling really bad and helpless regarding the situation, was to try and be as responsible and independant as I could be - and for me, that meant earning as much money as I could to feel self-sufficient. It may be different for you, especially at this point, but when you don't have to rely on your parents, you don't feel as though you have to be dictated by them.

Good luck. I know it's damn frustrating, but I hope you manage to get through to her some how.

Follow your heart, you'll have to live with the descions you make not her-you deserve to happy with your own choices

i have to say that i admire u for deciding to follow up on ur own dreams instead of walking in ur mom's footsteps. i'm sure that it was an extremely difficult thing to do by denying your mom, but believe me, in the long run all that matters is that ur the one who's happy with the decisions that you've chosen to make.

The only thing i can say is to try and demonstrate to her what your skills can accomplish..if you can't get your work out there give her something special you have created for her so that she can see the worth of your abilities are.

Making personalized christmass cards is a fair money spinner you might add.