You must first love to live and be given life, we all know love. Love is not learned, it is apart of us. It is instinctive and natural but twisted, like all things, by men and ideals instead of what is felt. Being "in love" is a commitment for one person. It is a commitment that is rarely kept by children, teenagers, adults, and the old alike. It is a commitment I'd like to keep with my boyfriend but it's certainly looked down on considering the amount of people who said I shouldn't bother. Who then does know love? Why do I feel like this was pointless? My boyfriend understands this, that's why I love him!
(I'm giving you advice? Ugh)

have you ever considered the possibility that he's just telling you what you want to hear... it's a common practice among daters. but hey... i don't know this guy and you do... but i was the deep, thoughtful kid in school... and you know what I wanted from a girl (particularly a FRESHman girl) when i was seventeen?

SEX. Pure, undiluted poontang.

"in love" as a commitment? love is an exclusive contract?


and i never said not to bother with love... just to live more before you decide.

love is ephermeral... love is the convergance of mind and body in longing... love is... many things. but it is also rare... and hard to imagine as being true in the hands of a 17 and 15-year old.

If it were, this world wouldn't be filled with hate. It should be, it can be.

*sigh*

hardly prosaic... or practical... or even fair.

I believe ou are living a fantasy. Have you lived with the guy- no. Why- because he's in Florida and you're in Iowa. Have you met him- obviously not- you stated so.

I can tell you now that just because you've read about love and are "majoring " in it- ah that makes me laugh,- that dear you don't even know the jist of love.

You are a child- 15 years of age is still considered a child- do your parents know about him?
Probably not-eh?

I still think that you should not bother with this supposed "love" of yours. Instead work on yourself, molding whom you will grow to be. At your age you shouldn't have to worry about "boyfriends" or the such.

Do you love yourself?

It seems that you are putting him before yourself, and that dear is the wrong thing to do. At your age you should be first. You should take care of yourself before you take care of someone else and you're not doing so well with taking care of yourself as it is.

But this is my advice take it or leave it- it does not matter to me- since I don't know you.

Lol, thank you for the advice but you obviously haven't even read careful enough because I'm the one in Florida, he's in Iowa. At what point do you stop molding yourself? Are we not forever changing beings? Does love change? Is love aged? Is love not caring for someone other than yourself? Putting those before your needs? Is love based on circumstances or does it prevail beyond?

Obviously you don't know anything. Nor do you want to learn anything.

You are going to get hurt.

Who gives a damn where you two live. What matters is that you think you know each other when in reality you don't.

It's easy to lie online, it's easy to play with people online.

As long as they are nowhere near you- you can do anything to make them feel "loved" or special.

You are so very ignorant.

wuh thanx u i preciate that erher

I'm ignorant? My philosophy and logic on love is crashing into your skull and you're oblivious to it.
Answer my questions. Comment on the logic instead of narrowing yourself to insults.

There is no true logic in your fantasy.

Why don't you come back to reality, then we can converse again, this time more positively.

Tell me, What would be the first thing you would do if you did meet him?

That's the best you have? What's your idea of fantasy?

Circumstances, why do they matter when love is not a circumstance?

You don't need to know my ideas of fantasies- because they are just ideas.

I prefer reality, I've been in your shoes before- at least sort of.

Except I didn't see my own denial as a philosophy. No.

I wanted to believe that this one person loved me- even though deep inside I had this awful "gut" feeling that he didn't care for me and he was just using me. Everyone told me he was, but no, I wouldn't believe such rubbish, I couldn't- I wouldn't let myself.

But I found out two years later -we dated for two years- that the whole entire time- he was lying- everything was a lie. I was nice and I was ignorant. NO- I was just plain stupid. I hated him, as much as I hated myself for believing in so much of his crap. It was just this weird fantasy/idea in my head- that we were fine.
My stupid idea/fantasy hurt me in the end.

You need to think/ sort out yourself and your beliefs, or your just going to get hurt.
And I can tell you it really hurts when you learn that you were wrong.

I am sorted out and comfortable with my beliefs and I do wish you'd take into consideration the circumtance ordeal, it explains all.
If your ideas of fantasy aren't real then why were they worth mentioning to prove distinction of reality?
I told you my reasoning and they were of both our philosophies and love. So, you were hurt and you were young, it happens and it doesn't. Assuming that I'm ignorant while taking no notice of my logic is what's questionable.

Never mind- I have nothing more to say to you. Good bye.

See? No logic. Where do you stand in calling me ignorant? Lol, the whole goddamn post was meant for advice and it's come to this. If it were advice I wouldn't have argued throughout the thread but I was threatened and it backfired. Oh, well. >.<

In the end, you never stop molding yourself.. For everyone is always trying to please others. Panthy was talking about the basis of who you shall become. For no matter how intelligent or philosophical you are, at 15, your not finished with the original design.
Actually, YES! Love does change. But Not enduring the love, loss, and pain that i have, you would not know that.
Love is young as the morning dew, and older than the sun. So yes, it is aged.
Love is sharing totally. not giving all for them.
Hmm, what was that line...Ahh yes...
"Is he worth dying for?
Heh, nice ideal, but not totally functional in a 'twue wuv' situation..

Meh, but I'm beginning to ramble.. need sleep..

I've been in your situation before. Trust me, you'll want to walk away from this one. I live in California. She lives in Michigan. We still speak to eachother. In fact, we're still quite close. I'd say I can tell her just about anything that's on my mind and she probably understands how I think on far more higher of a level than anyone does locally here. Perhaps that's because when you're 2,000 miles away all you can do is exchange intelligence and conversation. That's an important aspect of a relationship. One of the most important ones in my opinion. But you need all the variables of an important relationship for one to successfuly exist. The mind would be one of the major parts of human anotomy but the body will still not function without the heart, lungs, liver, and other vital organs. So it is the same with relationships and the physical distance between the two of you is more than just a physical rift, no matter how well matched the two of your are or aren't.

Think ahead to when you're out of school. What are your plans for yourself? What are his plans for himself? Are you willing to leave all of your family behind entirely to live out of state with him? Or is he willing to? That's not as easy as it first seems. I know, because for about a year I lived way off in Florida with my mother and some dude she met from the internet away from everyone here and I despised being so far apart from the rest of the family. Would you even be able to financially support such an undertaking?

These are the barriers that the both of us found ourselves against. I don't want to leave my family. I don't want to quit my job and then be entirely jobless out there. Sure, I can find another one but I don't believe in quitting one job until you have another lined up because it's a bitch to find jobs and how will you financially support yourself in the interim? She's taking all kinds of college classes on a really good grant she got from the grades she made in high school. Would it be fair of me to expect her to drop all of that in order to come all the way over here? Would it be fair of me to expect her to ditch all of her family over there when I am unwilling to do that from my end?

There's alot of heartache involved in this. And far more compromises and far more that we are required to give up entirely than we even think about when we enter such a thing as a long distance relationship. What are you willing to sacrifice for this kid? Also bear in mind that at your age, it'll be awhile before you even have the ability to sacrifice these sorts of things for him. Alot can change in between then and now.

Not saying that these sorts of things aren't possible. Just that they're more difficult than any of us give them credit for. And far more uncertain on top of all of that. To me it isn't feasable. What it is to you is your business, but you asked for advice and there's my experience.

Thank you. =D
Excellent advice at that.
From someone who is actually experienced.

Experienced? The guy's only 22...

I'm 34, had several online relationships of both the physical and non-physical kind and all long distance....

Best advice I can give you from my vast experience is this.

You are a child and as such see with both the eyes and mind of a child. Everyone who has come to this thread with adult and intelligent advice you have ignored and shown distain for simply because you are not mature enough to understand life simply as it is. No doubt you will poo poo this post as you simply know no other way of dealing with that which you don't want to hear.

All of my relationships failed, simply cos the internet is an unreal world in which to make relationships. Even the most honest person on the net still cannot convey who they really are in this electronic medium 1% of the way they will act and react in real life. I'd had the displeasure of meeting someone I thought I loved and found that the feelings simply where not there upon the second I met them. It was one of the most painful and gut-wrenching moments of my life and I'll never forget it.

Do I think it will work for you, hell no. Do I think you will carry on regardless, hell yes...

You're a child, why the hell would you listen to us adults anyway, we know fuck all right...