This takes alot more courage than posting poetry!

I don't have a job. This is the first time ever that I haven't worked at least one job(though I do change jobs often). I have been unemployed going on a month now, because I got into a car accident and didn't have transportation, so I quit my job. There is nothing available where me and my bf live, and I don't have any options except to ride the bus to the next city.(its a 2hr ride .) My bf is really pissed I'm not working but I feel very uncomfortable taking a bus (for various reasons.)He's not offering to help me with transportation like getting a loan or using his car and I don't know what he expects me to do.

who cares what he "expects" you do what you can do

ps: i dont blame ya for not wanting to use public transportation, i wouldnt either.

Well I think in all fairness I should help pay the bills, and I think our whole relationship is based on expectations. I mean who wants a girl who sits around all day doing nothing? I don't even like being around me right now. What kind of person am I to not contribute anything and have no station in life? I just want to make things better but I'm not sure how.

Not working is very depressing, the things you are saying now are coming from that. I know that. I went without work for a year not too long ago. I was still bringing in cash, but it still sucked royal ass sitting around most of the time, it was so boring, that alone will depress ya.

But i am sure you are looking for a job, and untill you find one, there really isnt much else you can do hun.

i know, if circumstances were different things would be better, yet I always taken on this superwoman ego like I have to do everything and I can't stand it when things are out of my control. It doesn't help he is super depressive right now and I am beginning to feel trapped. I suppose this is just another extension of all the shit I'm feeling right now.

You must remain strong, or at least try, cause if you let yourself slip into depression, and he is also depressed, you's will be fucked. Try to be strong hun, try hard.

I don t know what the job situation is like over there, but if its anything like it is here, akkk, i feel for you, but something will come, u must be patient. This is something i am not, so went all to hell when that happened to me. But hopefully you are better then that.

I am notoriously impatient. And as far as both of us being depressed goes, it's a little too late for warnings. I feel doomed in this relationship as of current which is in no way what I want.

eeek, i can tell you some things about that too, but pm me if you want to discuss that stuff.

Is he working ??

yes he works like 50 hrs a week

so i supported my ex-boyfriend for like two years. i was 17/18 and he was 26. how fucked up is that? well i can tell you from experience that you need to show an effort at getting a job. make sure he knows you are trying. as for the bus thing, i am sure you have your reasons, but if your situation is bad enough that you are worrying about your bf's feelings then you have to decide which is more important: his well-being, or bus hesitations. i only say this b/c you seem to want to be a part of both of your financial states.

my ex-bf was lazy, don't let your bf think you are. have you tried the net? have you let him know you tried? have you asked for his advice? i don't mean say "what do you want me to do." how about "how can i make this better for us." He's gonna have to realize that you can't and shouldn't do all this yourself. if he wants to have a partnership, he has to act like a partner. financial support is not his sole duty. he has other things to attend to as well, namely you and all your problems cause they are his too.

hope i helped

-Hex

thank you for your advice!