Hi you guys ..I don't come here often, hardly ever actually. But i guess i could really use some insight from somebody..So yesh. Things at home haven't been going so well lately. My mom's constantly reminding my brother and I, about her finacial state, which is not good and so on. She has alot of stress I guess you can say but we're really close, her and my brother are the only family i have. Well anyhow, lately she's been obsessed over what I eat. She thinks I'm too skinny, which i'm not. I'm perfectly healthy at about an 110-112 lbs. However she's been threatening me non stop to send me to a hospital and accuses me of not eating, and attempting to create a problem for her. Why would I do that? I do eat to begin with, and I don't know..Then she has this thing where everything I do is not good enough. She's always critisizing me, and i dont know, it gets to me, you know? Because i always held her opinion the highest in my heart, but thats starting to change. I want to get a job, and she has to have a say, I can't work in anything that pertains to school, and she gets upset if I apply any where that does not have a professional office atmosphere. I'm seventeen by the way..What can I do then? With the economy not doing well, no offices want teenagers, when its the adults that need work. The other day we both got into the biggest arguement, because I was tired of her always yelling at me about my food or what have you. I'm starting to feel things would be better if I wasn't there. My brother hardly talks to me, if it isn't for his benefit. We used to be really close, but whenever he sees that i have somebody in my life, he gets mad, and says I shouldn't, and it makes me sad, because why would my brother want me to be alone. My mom and brother calls me a 'cold fish' because i don't like showing affection..I had a pretty tough childhood, and i always only had myself or my brother. But it seems with his two year obsession with this girl who has a boyfriend, and his friends and problems, all i'm good for is to vent when something goes wrong..I'm seriously considering running away in june. I'm not allowed, my mom forbid me to leave the house until i graduate, and there is no way i could leave in good circumstances. But I don't feel needed or i guess loved enough, by anyone by one person..Running away affects my mom and my brother..And I know that.I guess i'm just confused.

just wait till ur 18 and then move out. You dont have to run away, at 18 you can do whatever you want, she cannot stop you. Then support them from the outside, you dont need to stay there and take the abuse from them.

one said it all. i say that people shouldn't bother with other peoples wait. people should only focous on there own wait and not anybody elses.

grr weight

hey GOD
apparently it's all coming towards u at once, all these fucked up things, so first of all don't look at the problems as a whole..look at them specifically, it makes it easier to find a clear solution or to see that things maybe aren't as bad as they seem
-first of all your brother: u said u used to be really close and went through some hard times together..sounds like me and my sis..so i know that eventhough we have are conflicts and fight, we really can rely on each other no matter what..that's the way it should be..you know he loves u, and wouldn't intenionally hurt u..he's probably messed up and tries to work out his frustrations on someone else..
just talk to him, even if it doesn't work out, you know you've tried..u have to be really honest cuz' sometimes people don't notice it when they're being rude or asocial..
-havind some problems with showing affection and all that shit it just very normal...bad child hood or not, some people grow up to be very into hugs and kisses and sweettalks of i love you's..and some people just don't..
in time u will evolve a little, cuz i'm a bit like u, and i know where i come from..but in the meanwhile don't worry...
just don't keep it all in you...when u feel like having a hug u should ask for one, just don't give hugs when u don't feel like it..
-the eating problem:if you really eat and all, and don't see your bones through your skin then you should just show your mom. i'd just go towards her and eat a whole pizza in front of her..just make her see u eating, then she will realize you're completely find
she's probably very worried about her finances, and about her children..i guess she just wants to be a good mother, and now she's focussing a bit too much on you...
-the financial problem: it's a problem u really can't do much about..it really sucks, we almost lost our house a while ago and all..but even if you lose all luxuries, if u can eat about 3 times a day and have a rood over your bed you should be satisfied..in our country we still have social services, so most of the time they help u out...maybe you can check it out..
the most important thing is to be there for your mom..just tell her you're doing fine right now, and no matter what you'll always be her daughter, great big house or tiny appartment
-about the job: u really should try to find a job u like but, i'm a bit confused..have u dropped out of school? are u looking for a steady job or just some earnings?
if you've dropped out of school, in my opinion you will soon regret...u should at least have a schooldiploma...
in case you're looking for a weekendjob, i'd just apply to an interimfirm..they find it for u..and just make sure u do something you like, not something your mom likes cuz otherwise it won't last longer than a month..been there done that
so daaaamn..wrote a whole lotta nonsense but hey, just trying to help you out
i'm not a therapist so if my advice sucks: at least i tried
and sorry if it's a bit too much...
greetzz and take care

ow and sorry for the spellingmistakes, didn't check twice..

One and Shy- I'm really leaning towards the moving out part, and in july i turn 18, so more than probably thats what i'm going to do thank you, you guys.

*wierdgirl*-Well my brother has already told me that i'm excluded out of his life. He keeps saying this over and over, but when he needs or wants something, he comes to me, and of course i'm going to comply because he's my brother..i dont want to be mean. I show my mom that i'm not skin and bones, i lift up my shirt, but its if she's being totally ignorant and wants me to confess that theres something wrong with me when there isn't..I don't know, it gets me aggrivated. She calls me a hanger, and what have you. I've never been affectionate towards any one person before, and i'm more affectionate than i have ever been with my current boyfriend. He's unlike anybody else, he's the first person that i've ever met that has made me feel what i think and feel is important. My mom tells me all the time what i think and my opinions don't matter, until i graduate from college. Then she threatens to hit me, when i try to make her understand things, so i don't bother at all. But what doesn't make sense is that my brothers utterly rude and he always voices what he feels and i don't know. Maybe thats where my insecurity comes from, it rooted from my own family..I just know one thing for sure, i want out.

[quote]Originally posted by GoddessOfDeath
[b]One and Shy- I'm really leaning towards the moving out part, and in july i turn 18, so more than probably thats what i'm going to do thank you, you guys.


well good when you move out. i hope that you can live happy. sorry if i wasn't much of a help to you. but i do what i can.
your welcome.

well fuck what i said then..

why are you saying that?

From what I've gathered, you have no reason whatsoever to be insecure about anything. You're incredibly beautiful, you're intelligent, and you have a great sense of humor. So stop being insecure.

As far as the family issue goes, it's a tricky one. If you just pick up and move out when you graduate, then you'll harm your relationship with your family. But then again, it doesn't sound like it's going to well right now, so that's not a huge factor I would worry about. Your current living situation with your mother and brother definitely isn't helping you any (emotionally speaking), so I would probably advise moving out. Just make sure you have somewhere decent to live and try to get a job soon after. Call a temp agency, often you can get a good professional job with them that pays nicely, and the jobs pretty easy. Best of luck to you Shannon, keep us informed.

cuz my advice sucked..

no it didnt.........at least your trying to help, thats what matters......any advice is good........unless its some dumbass fuck who says "then go kill yourself" or something like that...um yeah....you get those sometimes...

my advise sucked to. but hey who cares if are advise sucks right. the only thing that is important is that we try and help one another. even though you know that sometimes i can be a bitch about it like how i did with you in your advise thread. but hell i was only having fun with you girl. sometimes i can be a bitch. but once when you get to know me. i'm not to bad.

Erm.hi

Sorry Shan.
*hug*

think twice but dont hesitate. sounds like your mom is being overprotective and is a little jealous of you and your youth. and trying to make you "follow her path that she has for you because 'mommy knows best'" blegh. follow your own path. your mom wont stop loving you. either she will learn to deal and come to terms with you, or she wont and you will have to deal with being on your own. either way you have to deal. good luck. im done rambling now.