This is sexual in nature, so if you don't want to hear about it, then this is the time to stop reading.



She's 18 and a virgin. We fool around, and whatever, but we don't have actual sex. Anyway, it's really strange because she's never had an orgasm, before. She doesn't masturbate or ANYTHING (as a guy, this is impossible for me to imagine ). I never do anything that she doesn't want me to do, and I stop whenever she says to, just because I'm considerate like that.

But when I'm trying to stimulate her in her.... nether regions, shall we say? she'll be really into it for a while, but then she gets less enthusiastic and eventually she starts crying because it just doesn't feel good, anymore, she says. Orally or manually! It makes no sense to me. It's not like she's pre-pubescent and it's not as though she doesn't have a sex drive. And it's certainly not as though I don't know what I'm doing. I love her to pieces and I want to make her happy- in every way, but I'm beginning to think that maybe there's something very wrong with her. Any input?

yeah thats normal, for some girls at least
after a while the natural lubrication down there starts to wear away, especially during hard play, so after a while it goes from pleasure to discomfort to just plain pain. even if she feels wet repeated pushing on the tissue down there can get kinda painful after a while. same deal when your fingers are inside as well as out.
or if thats not a problem, the tissues also grow more sensitive during a bout of play, so lighter and lighter presure might help that.
you might also try gently guiding her hand down and kinda showing her how to play with herself. maybe it will get her used to more action down there.
or you could try taking periodic breaks in the action. this helps me a lot
I hope this helps.

In all honesty, I don't believe this is a physical problem. This sounds completely mental in nature.

From my experience, the fact that she doesn't masturbate or never has, says it all. This tends to show that she has some mental inhibitions about her sexuality. Some where along the way, she learned that masturbation is a "no-no" or "Dirty" Which has left her timid mess, when it comes to sex.

Also, as you said, she has never had an orgasm. She told you this, which means she obviously focuses on it quite a bit, even more so during sexual contact. And that alone is enough to keep her from ever having one. If she is forever thinking about it and trying, she'll never have one. Sex has become a task. She is not trying to have an orgasm, to feel pleasure. She's trying to have an orgasm to feel "normal". Thats entirely too much pressure for her. She needs to be relaxed, she needs to know that it doesn't have to end in a mind blowing orgasm to be "normal" or "good". Be there for her, talk to her, do what she wants, when she wants it and how she wants it. Communication.... . If something feels good to her have her let you know. When it hurts, have her tell you and stop. Try not to make an issue out of the failure of orgasm, make an issue of all that was good. Tell her how she makes you feel, become vulnerable and perhaps she will feel a little less inhibited.


"I'm beginning to think that maybe there's something very wrong with her."

There are so many things that can happen in ones life, comepletly un related, that will later in return, complicate ones sexuality. Maybe its nothing, but You have no idea what might of happened to this poor girl in the past. Whatever the case may be, it's not her fault. And there is nothing seriously wrong with her, there is something seriously wrong with the society that did this to her

If you truely care for this girl, be sensitive and patient.

P.S.
"And it's certainly not as though I don't know what I'm doing"

Don't be so sure of your self, maybe you really don't know what you're doing with this particular girl. Not all women are the same. They are not a road map, nor do they come with instructions. When one thinks you are great, the other could very well feel the complete opposite.

Thank you both- you've really given me a lot to think about. I'll be rereading those posts several times over.

And Fallen, sorry to have sounded arrogant in that last bit. When I look at what I wrote, again, it does seem a bit boastful. I just meant that she likes it- and she doesn't lie to me.... Maybe I have been pressuring her a bit too much to have an orgasm. [Note to self: don't mention orgasm ever again]

And as for showing her how to touch herself? Maybe that works with other girls, but this one is a bit different. She hates touching herself. She only does it when she's in the shower- and that's to wash or shave. You're probably right about her having some strange mental condition about her sexuality- I just can't believe that someone would find their sexual organs so repellent. I've always thought it was beautiful.

Was she ever raped or molested? That could be why she is so afraid of her sexuality possibly. She might just need a little time and therapy-it's nice that you seem so patient and loving. I hope everything turns out for you

Was she ever raped or molested? That could be why she is so afraid of her sexuality possibly. She might just need a little time and therapy-it's nice that you seem so patient and loving. I hope everything turns out for you

goddammit-sorry double post

i'd have to agree with Fallen... and perhaps Arcane... sometimes we can repress certain incidents, and they'll show themselves as some sort of problem down the road...

as ArcaneScarlette put it, something could have happend. when i was little stuff happend to me and i am pretty much unable to attach myself to a guy now.
just be patient with her, i'm sure she feel's bad for not pleasing you. and i agree with everything everyone has already said.
dont rush her and be gentle with her...

Your Morning Star

-Dri-