"Age is a matter of the mind, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter." -Unknown

Besides, I've have some gf's that where young. hmmm. 18, 21, 24, 28. so age doesn't really matter, unless their in it for the money.


but still, try to find the right one can take a while, hopefully not TOO long. And all this time wasted in the process.

I am 18; my darling is 37. Age really doesn't matter.

Age is a number that you can count as many times you like; you will find misery on it as time flies by.

time is a concept created by mankind to understand whyhe does what he does, and the reason he is doing it at that moment..

I would most certainly agree...

I dated a 40 year old when I was 17 I fully intend to trade my current beau in for 2 17 year olds when she reaches 34 lol.

Age is irrelelvent

Neon

HMmmm..I thought that - I'm 31 and my lady turns 40 in Oct - I still wanna party and she wants to stay home........

Might have nothing to do with age but can't gelp thinking.......

I'm 30 now but I got married when I was 15 my husband was 28
and even though we are divorced now it had nothing to do with our ages but fidelity...we made it work for 13 years so I'm inclined to say age is inconsequential emotionally but legally is another matter entirely... :-P

...the whole 'making it work' has got me confused.

I've been brought up to make relationships work - but if it doesn't feel natural - if you have to force it - is it the best for everyone? Right now I think only one of us in this relationship is happy..............

Sorry for the downer guys

Oh, I could write a thesis on this....

No, you're absolutely right, if you have to "make it work" then it's not right. My ex and I tried to make it work for the entire 4 years of our marriage and the only thing we ended up "making" is ourselves utterly miserable. If it has to be forced and/or only one person is happy, then it's really time to end it.

Good luck.

HMmmmmmmm....it's easier said than done isn't it.

Wish I wasn't so 'nice' and considered others feelings

Oh, believe me, it was probably the hardest thing I ever did in my life. But I was literally losing my mind, trying to change, trying to make things better anyway I could and always failing. It is one thing to be considerate of another's feelings, but if in that process you find yourself withering, it's got to end. I can remember that day as if it were yesterday (well, it was only this April/May), god I thought I was gonna puke. But after the initial shock of "Ok, this is really it then, it is over", it was like a 2 ton weight had been lifted from me. And I never looked back.

How long has your relationship been going on, if I may ask?

Been together 12 years - engaged for about 6.

I reckon I've changed over the last year or so and I'm sure she has.

Thing is there's a bunch of things that I want do/experince and she doesn't.

My hobbies don't really include her apart from when she comes to see me play (I'm in a coupla bands). I know I'm selfish but it's only recently that I've discovered 'me' and know what I want from life - and it's not to be sat at home all day.


I'm really the bad guy - but thing is I've told her everything and she is really trying to fit around and join in but I just feel like she's forcing it - and being too clingy I really appreciate what she's doing but I feel suffocated.......

I'm in the wrong thread here aint I

Yeah, well this can be valid 30-something thread I figure....maybe.

If there's one thing that's certain is that people change - always.

As for being "the bad guy", there are two people involved here - and you said explained everything to her, so at least you're being honest and that's most important, IMO. My ex and I only had a couple of things in common really and try as we did, we couldn't make it mesh either. We both knew it for quite a long time, but were afraid to say anything, make that move to split - it is scary and gut-wrenching no matter how much you want out. I finally couldn't stand it anymore, I had to do it to save my sanity, that was the way I had to look at the situation.

The way I see it, not only are you keeping yourself from what you really want now, you may be keeping her from finding what she really needs. The fates were (finally) incredibly kind to me, I found the courage to release myself from misery and turned around and quite unexpectedly found the love of my life.

You just never know.

Thing is I can't bare to see her hurt - I'm way too soft for this stuff. When I said what I was feeling she broke down and it killed me

Did it kill you because you still love her or because you just don't want to be the "bad guy" as you said. Read your Johnny Depp Test profile closely because it's true...you will end up resenting her if you can't do what you want, what you need. And then the resent will deteriorate into bitterness and much worse. And even though I don't really know you, I don't think that's how you want to end up feeling towards her.

And I'm going to go out on a limb here, but..is it at all possible that she breaks down simply because she knows you're soft and it kills you to see her that way? Some people will do that just to hang on. Just a thought.

Still love her - but don't think I'm in love with her anymore. She's like a good friend. And I realise if I carry on pretending that we've resolved everything I will end up resenting her for cramping my style..........as it were.

Man, you just described my marriage. When we broke the news to our friends we said that we make good friends, but not a good married couple. And my husband and I were extremely resentful towards each other the last year of the marriage. Thankfully, that ended when we split. And we're also pretty amicable now as well, too.

Believe me, I know what you're going through now. I really hope it works out for the best.

Me too......Thanks for listening to my rant.

I think too many people see us as the perfect couple - gotta admit we hardly ever argue (until recently) - so it would come as a huge blow to our parents and everyone else (except my closest friends).

Cross fingers - what will happen will happen.

Thanks again

J

No problem, anytime. Rants are one of my specialties, both giving and receiving.

Heh, no one was really surprised when we broke up, least of all my parents! Guess I'm not as good as an actor as I thought...