I say what I see/hear

Aww - I love German Shepherd dogs! they have tendency to be a little unpredictable though. Have you any idea what (if any) the difference is between a German Shepherd and an Alsation?

No . . . but the penalty for your transgression is . . . Spiders!

I have big boots - I am not afraid

Spiders swarming on the wind and through the trees to nest in your hair!

Fine - I'll chop my head off!

No you won't. You'll just run around as though your hair is on fire until you go into shock and curl up in a tight little ball.

Shit - you sussed me

Aww, reminds me though, I saw a little hedgehog today struggling along the road, so I helped it get off the road and into a bush

Hedgehogs actually make pretty cool pets from what I have read about them, althought they are not exactly the cuddliest variety . . . That reminds me of the time I found a field mouse or vole of some kind that was hurt around here. I set him the bushes and hoped that he would recover.

I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on the hedgehog thing. My mum once rescued one when she was in her teens. She took it home and made it a little den out of shoes and handbags.

Needless to say, when the morning came, her shoes and handbags were full of shit and fleas...

Yeah, you are supposed to thoroughly bathe a wild-Hedgehog if you intend to keep it as a pet.

Silly me!! why did they never teach me that in biology??

There is actually an unwritten law that schools may not teach any practical, realistically usefull information to their students . . .

Hmm - I did learn how not to store an egg in the fridge.. that was kinda usefull.

No! Surely you can't! I mean that seriously!

I'll tell you the story - although it is long and kinda boring.

In my cooking class I was the teacher's pet. We had to cook something one day (can't remember what) which involved eggs.

The teacher asked me to go to the fridge and get out some eggs.

As I did, a bowl with a rotten egg stuck to the bottom of it, fell out the fridge and on to the floor. To which I responded 'EWWW' - as you would.

From then on, the teacher hated me for exposing her as a fraudulent egg keeping teacher thing.

I think only one of my teachers in school really hated me, for no reason either. She was an arrogant, elitist Art-teacher twat who needed to seek a new line of work.

We both know, she needed to get laid.

Probably.

Well I wasn't about to volunteer! Yuck!
That does remind me that I did share a beer with a teacher when I ran into her at a bar once. Walking half-way back with her was an interesting feeling knowing that I probably could have and she was also fairly attractive . . . But I decided against it . . .

hey you should of try something with her. Maybe she was waiting for you to make a move. She must be disappointed and can't fall alseep that night

I know, considering how she was pretending to stumble against me and pulling me along by my arm . . . Oh well, too late now.