Things didn't work out? I'm sorry to hear that, but like I said - if they can't see what they did was wrong, then they really aren't worth it. Mark it down to experience and move on I guess. They don't deserve you!

Hmm, the feeling that I would describe as feeling a bit 'bleurgh'?

Maybe but I don't usually get that way without being able to figure out exactly what's bothering me.

hmm - I do. I blame it on the tides. The thing is, it can be hard to shake off. Chin up babes!

Right . . . I'm sure I'll be fine. On the brightside I've met a beautiful Dark-haired Irish lass with the most wonderful eyes I have ever seen . . . although she'll only be here a couple of weeks, I guess I'll have to work quick.

Go for it!! she may just decide to stay! Maybe that's why you're feeling all out of sorts?

Yeah but I've noticed that I have a tendency to fall in Love with people in situations where circumstances prevent anything from happening . . .

And this applies to the Irish girl?

Iron, I get a weird feeling when I see friends I used to know.
It actually makes me uncomfortable. It's hard to talk to each other properly, so many things and changed and shared experiences not had. To be honest, I feel the same way about my family. It gives me a strange washing machine-stomach.
Time and distance really does change people.

They did tell me that I had changed, they kept going on about Job corp kids being violent and how they don't like the friends I've made there. I don't see it though.
Mia: I don't know but I'm worried that I have developed that kind of a psychological complex as a subconcious means to avoid the pain of possible rejection. I really don't enjoy the thought that I might be setting myself up for failure with no concious knowlege by falling in Love with people who are unavailable.
It's funny though, The Irish people here are under the impression that my name is a really common one (It kind of is around campus). So just a few hours ago, I watched them all walk into Data Managment to get their Job-Army/Corp ID Cards/Tags. As they passed another person who knows them, he called them all by my name . . . I just stood there for a minute and called after them:
"How much should I bet that there will be a lot of kids named after me born in Ireland a few years from now?"

I blame Boy Meets World. I noticed a load of Corey's spring up after that.
The other day at sports day, 'MacCaulay' won the 100m. Poor kid.

Yea, Corey with a 'C' is fairly common here, but not with a 'K'. I blame Corey Feldman and Corey Haim.. well, their parents at least.

Hmm, self-preservation Iron? Your going to have to develop a strategy whereby you can find out if the person is available before you fall head over heels. Easier said than done maybe, but it would save you a lot of heartache.

Don't I know it . . . Although I honestly did have a dream last night: In it, I castrated myself with my Meat Cleaver . . .

Fucking hell Iron!! that's potent!

Or should that be IM-potent?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Potent how? I'm not seriously considering it yet . . . When I woke up I kept involuntarily grabbing at it to make sure it was still there . . .

It's just a very very significant dream! This must be something that is seriously playing on your mind. I recommend sleeping with lavendar on your pillow tonight.

That is a sick dream.

Alikor told me that that kind of element in a dream signifies the ending of a relationship, so maybe it had to do with my friends back home.
I wonder how much that might have to do with how I've been feeling the past few days too. Although castration has always been tied in with sexual frustration in my mind and the incident with my friends hasn't really been on my mind.

Hmm- no, I think he could be right. Perhaps your frineds haven't been on your mind because you're supressing your feelings about it, hence they manifest themselves in your dreams.

Chop!