MWahahaha, just wait till I'm Queen! You will all have to speak properly like what I does!

thankies Kitster!

Hey! I talk proper like!
I aint not common or nuffink right!?

You lookin' at my pint??

Oi you ming-ger, stop lookin' at maah blorke!
You wanna tek this oot-saad?
Eh? I'll pull yer 'air!

oot sard? haha, isn't that Geordie? we say 'art side' :p Uhm.. cos we're arty, or summat.

Gods I wanna go home, work is just annoying today.

Go on a random punching spree.
That's an instant dismissal offence, then you can go home!
See, I have all the answers.

Great plan - but I can sense the feeling of elation closely following said punch up being swiftly followed by the feeling of 'oh fuck, what did I do that for'.

Ever been there?

Can't say I've ever commited mass GBH at work, but I am pretty good at regret.

I get cocky. I think I can do things I can't, then end up with bunk beds halfway up the stairs unable to move them any further until help arrives. Or a car that's way more broken than before I started 'fixing' it.

My video is making a whiney noise when it records. I'm going to open it up and have a look. Whoo hoo!!

Was nice knowing ya Niv!

I'll unplug it first...then again, my husband might kill me if I break it, so yeah, goodbye cruel world.

Mia, I hereby bequeath to you my entire collection of shampoo bottles with an inch left in the bottom of each. Use them wisely my child.

What do I get?

Haha, I bet half of them are Body Shop shampoos left over from Christmas - am I right?? :p

Whatever you like Crim, come and paw through my house, I have an obscene amount of handbags and backpacks, one for every occasion and then some.

Mia, I aint not posh loike you, I can't be affording no Body Shop shampoo!

And my family usually get me sod all for Christmas, well, sod all I want or is remotely useful. Hell, I'd love shampoo. But no. This year I got a collection of miniature marmalades, mostly with alcohol in, and I hate marmalade at the best of times, let alone with stuff added.
And a photo frame. Whoo hoo.

The ones I have are presents actually... I don't buy body shop shampoo myself, but not cos of the expense, I just think it's pants.

I love your pressies, I think you should collect them all together and have a bad taste auction!! One of my mates would buy the lot and then hand them out at Crimble as shitty gifts to make us laugh. So far I have had from her a book on learning to speak Welsh, a penis shaped ice-cube tray, a Cliff Richard mug... oh the list is almost endless. There is definitely a market for it though, you could make a fortune!

Oh! I want to make my own ice penis!
Just think of what I could do with it!
Then again, err, maybe not.

But just think of all those blokes who get stuff stuck up their arses and have to go to A&E, they could just wait for it to melt....

Oh mi god! My BF works in the X-ray dept at the General... and he has seen quite some sights!! One including a wine bottle....


Why oh why?

Because men are dumb, that's why.
And curious.

I wonder if they start off small.. and then progress, or just go straight in at the deep end?

I'm thinking about this too much now.. time to wash my head out with domestos.

oh my I think men are more curious