:fear: i'm in this relationship w/ this guy, and he has managed to piss off everyone of my closes friends. now he is trying to apologize and they arent taking it "right". he wants to make things right again, and they still think he's lieing. but he's not. so guys when u read this, i know frans an ass but he's trying to make things better. i've made a few decisions, dan seriously interfered and made me think differently.
how do i make my man stop lieing? how do i make them believe him? how do i learn to be mad at him? he hurt me, he betrayed me, and i'm fine with it. what is wrong with me? i hate it when they all fight, and i'm sick of it. i love him, and i love them. help please...its late so i might not have posted the whole story...

Your Morning Star

-Dri-

all i thnk we should is everyone talk to try and work things out no fight or screaming just talking

This is a little, um strange. If hes lying to you, and lying to your friends, then maybe you should rethink whether he or your friends is more important, and who you can really trust.

i know i know!! i want to see if i can get everyone off hostile grounds before i do anything. i dont want to lose either of them...

and i dont want to loose her.

i am not lying anymore. i feel like shit still and i dont think i will stop feeling like shit. im sorry, i dont know how many times i can say it. i mean it. love is all i have, and i trust u, even if u cant trust me, right now anyway i hope.

ill see u tomarow baby. ta

i know your sorry, baby i know. i agree w/ scull, we just need EVERYONE (wile i hold back meggz) to get together and talk things out. i had a dream like that, so check out my dream journal later.
i want to trust you again. with everything i have i want to trust you.
so whats the problem? i forgive to easily. way way way to easily. i think it sucks that my life has been filled with such heartbreak that it no longer effects me. the only people i am truly mad at are those who caused it. aww fuck this, i need to think....

Your Morning Star

-Dri-

The thing is that you don't want him you just want some and while your main goal is to get some everything else dosen't matter. So when he pisses you off he never realy pisses you off and you disregard it. ( I can't spell worth shit)

its not that i desregard it red, its that i cant get mad at him. even when i was "mad" at you for the whole barking thing, i was never really mad. i knew i was expected to be mad so i pretended to be so. and why am i not doign the same thing with him? because i cant, i cant even pretend to anymore. i went months not talking to him and it hurt so bad....

Your Morning Star

-Dri-

True friends do not lie to you, or betray you....use your judgement and do what you feel is right.

i know true friends dont. what i feel is right doesnt feel good. i've decided to space myself from him, not just because i'm going away for a week, but mentally also.
thank you all for your replies and advice.

Your Morning Star

-Dri-

just be sure that his nose doesn't grow to long...


why are with this guy.... if he lies and betrays you... i know you could find someone better then him...


<--- sucks at helping people

no you dont suck at it...

why am i with him you ask. i dont know. i honestly dont. i love him so so sooo much. even after all he's done to me. i dont know. i dont want to end it, even though i should.

eeeh *sigh* whatever

Your Morning Star

Dri

OK OK OK!!! here is the answer to what everyone and there mom has been asking me..

why are you still with him?
because, when he is not making my utterly misserable i am the happiest i've ever been. when i'm not crying out of pain i'm crying out of joy. i love him, ALL OF HIM! all of his perfections (as rairly as i see them) and ALL of his flaws... he makes me so happy sometimes. tiff and meggz, you saw how broken up i was when we got into the fight, so just imagine me just as happy. i'm only on one side of the spectrum at a time. crying myself into a corner cuz i cant take it anymore or crying out in joy because i'm just so happy because of him....

i love him
i hate him
i want him
i cant live withought him
i dont want to live with him
*sigh*

Love can be hard at times and so can friendship. The best advice I ever recieved was "things happen for a reason" , friends help you when you need a shoulder to cry on, lovers help you when you need to be held. Good luck.

thanxxx...