so i guess i'm new here... anyway, i just met this girl a few months ago. we started doing stuff together, not really like dating, but just hanging out as friends, that type of thing. She's a christian, and she's very sincerely religious, but the first time we met we ended up getting stoned. a few times she snuck out of her house in the wee hours of the morning ( she's sixteen and lives with her parents) to go and get drunk with me.
last week it seemed like she was really starting to like me, and i was thinking about asking her out on a date, that kind of thing. she was chatting with me every day, saying how she couldn't wait to see me over the weekend. so the weekend came, and i waited for her to call, like we had discussed. i didn't hear from her at all over the weekend. in fact, everytime i would get online she would get off. i called her sunday night to ask what was going on, and she apologized profusely, telling me how busy she had been. we set up another time to get together. once again, she was absent. that night she chatted with me on aim, once again apologizing and asking if i was available on tuesday. i said that was fine, and she said she would call me. and of course, no call. i called her today and asked if she just wanted to forget about this whole thing. it would be easier for me if i could just accept that she doesn't want anything to do with me and move on. i could understand that, too. she's a christian with a loving, happy family, i'm an atheist with no family, a face full of metal and a few "bad habits". But when i asked if i should stop calling she sounded surprised and said "no", as if she couldn't fathom why i would think such a thing. she tells me that she has just been really busy. but how can you be so busy you can't take two minutes for a phone call to say "sorry, i won't be able to make it".

at this point, i must admit that i am being a loser. if this was most girls, i would have forgotten about her already. but this girl is really special, i don't know if i could find anybody like her, so i don't want to just give up.

anyway, she told me that she doesn't want to sneak out to be with me anymore. i think this is because she just got in trouble for lying to her parents, and her parents really know how to make her feel like shit. gotta love those christian families... ugh. and of course her parents don't want her to have anything to do with me. they say the reason for this is that I'm 19, and she's 16. so the only way for me to be with her, for "the time being", is for me to go to her church.

i guess my question is this: am i being a fool just because this girl is so special i can't accept the fact that it will never work out between us? or should i keep trying, going to her church on sundays and trying to get her parents to relent and let us be together? and why is her behavior so confusing? is she interested or not?

so whaddya think?

She's interested, maybe she was busy.

It's difficult sometimes when you plan things in secret, all it takes is one of ther parents to suggest going somewhere and she loses her window, she can't exactly say "I've got plans" now can she?!

I'd suggest talking to her parents, tell them that you want to keep seeing her and are prepared to go to her church if that's what it takes but that you don't want to feel like a hypocrite because you don't believe.

Hopefully they'll try and talk you into the church and in so into the "family".

Hmmm, usually the sincerely religious christians aren't the ones that would sneak out and smoke and drink ad a young age. Just an observation.

She's attracted to you because she's more of a 'good girl' and you're more of a rebel, 'wild man'. (for lack of better terms.)

Her conscious got to her. Think about it; she was doing things that her religion would look down on, of course she is going to feel bad about it. And of course her parents don't want her to have much to do with you, they see you as someone that would pull her away from what they believe is right and correct. I see your point of view and understand your anger, but look at it from their point of view. They see you as a threat to their daughter's salvation probably. She's already done things that are frown upon by her religion, what else could you influence upon her?

I've been in similar situations before. Some things can be overcome and won't cause problems, but often times a difference in religion between two people can be a big problem. And you're young, so is she. There are tons of other people out there that are more compatible with you in many ways.

I wouldn't fret it too much. You should never have to compromise your beliefs for anyone elses. Never. If it's this much trouble to be with someone, then you two obviously weren't meant for each other.

forget about her. find someone better, dont put all of your eggs in one basket this way it wont bother you if she stands you up or not.

i agree. why should you go to her church when you yourself said that you're atheist? as much as you may care for this girl, you have to accept at some point or another that things aren't going to work out between the two of you.

if her parents are dicks and she cant get the nerve to tell em 'fuck u'then she doesnt care too much mebbe she likes you...but id try & foret aqbout her.i know it'll be hard....try6 tho...


good luck