13th November 2003

Unsettled.
Everything in life is in chaos and within the realms of change and upheaval at this time. Even within the dreamscape between wake and sleep. There is the constant wandering and searching for the other, the one who's being helped and going through their own times of purging and release. Somehow a "containment spell" has been set up with dark mirrors reflecting the self back for going deep within the psyche to find the "self" and the events that have lead to here.

In the dailight world, all seems unsettled. There is a need to get away, be by myself for a while. Everywhere I go, the collapse can be seen. Friends have gone, bridges have been burnt, places have disappeared, friends of friends die and family of friends, sleep is fragmented . . .

14th November 2003

Gatekeeper

For a long time I have stood here at the gates, travelling back and forth between the realms, dreamscape and the daily mundane world. Always moving, one from the other, never staying in one nor the other. Wanderer, and seeming to belong nowhere, just drifting, watching others pass over from the living to that other place . . .

15th December 2003

Apathy

It all seems so lack-luster, the days passing by . . . there seems no energy to do anything anymore, those things forgotten and falling away into the abyss, that which once held some hope and life. The weather is dulled out there, the clouds refuse to dispurse or rain, just hang over, waiting for the change.

6th July 2004

Frustrated

Does it get any easier? It's been so unsettled, even moving house has become a chore, a pain, to find somewhere to go to. The days stretch out long, seem to be filled with endless starts and stops and changes of direction, almost too fast sometimes.

It's been so hard this time to just settle into things, for what was once so easy, now things are so hard to organize. Is it worth it? Is the struggle ever worth it? . . . maybe this time it is . . . . it's just that it's harder this time, to give it more value, to appreciate it more than it has been in the past. Today I just wait for it to all come about

. . . just waiting around . . .

24th September 2006

Been Busy

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything in this journal, a very long time . . . a lot has changed since the last entry, new places to go, new things to do. The website has just been updated yesterday with some new images and some animation.

A lot of art done since May 2005 and posted onto deviantArt. For the past year, a graphic novel has been worked on, most days of the week, which has taken up most of my time. It's become a very long project as it's mainly myself working on it at the moment; my partner helps when he can and set up a new computer system for us. He's working on the novel with me.

A lot of what I used to feel has faded away and all I'm left with are a few bits of my past I'm finding hard to reconcile and forget . . . it would be great to just forget those bits, or just not be sooooo frustrated by them when they come up . . . really I need to get out more.

Welcome back. What kind of novel you making?

There is some info on the website address above and a few pix on this thread. It's a graphic novel made with 3D software, have to build all the objects and characters from scratch. The novel itself is a dark_gothic_type, set in an undead world. The main character(Hebe) and his companion(Jix the Fox) go round collecting hard to reach lost souls for Death and Decay so they can pass on.

Sounds interesting. I will have to check it out.

29th August 2007

Almost 1 Year Later . . . .

It's been almost a year now and the graphic novel is coming along fine. There has been some learning to use Lightwave and some frustration along the way to make the images appear the way they are wanted. Most of this has been worked out.

Page 8 is currently being worked on and you can find previous pages at Voltarrens on deviantART along with other artwork and 3D images.

The story itself is progressing well. Some of the bare bones have been filled in & and first part of the story is about 2/3rd's written and waiting to be turned into panels. The characters have progressed and developed as well, being witty in places and dark in a lot of others. The style of the images is quite set by now, being mainly dark in feel: shadows and fog with accentuations with lighting.