Am i wrong for liking a man thats much older then me? I know he is not a bad person. He only likes me as a friend though. I have never had a "real" boyfriend before. just guys i went out with because all my friends had boyfriends. Most of the guys my age I find are jerks or we just dont get along. This guy i like I can really relate to, we talk about life and what worries us, are dreams etc. Should I tell him my feelings? I dont want to ruin our friendship or scare him away. i dont want to make him look like a bad person and overall I dont want to add on to his worries. Someone help

Well one actually needs to unfortunately know a little more detail, like: How much older? How old are you? Is he married?
The thing is mostly age is relative and irrelevant, but not when it comes to (*hypothetically) a 13 year old girl and a man deep in his 30's. Extreme example I realize, just to make a point though. I suppose it's very individual, and depends on those involved, the maturity and intelligence with which both parties involves themselves in the relationship.

Lillith - Thanks for taking the time to reply. I am 16 and he is 32. No he is not married but widowed. When he told me that I didnt know what to say really it must be horrible losing someone you love and im not good at finding the right words to say in that kind of situation. I didnt ask more because I didnt want to be nosy and just apologized. I like how I can tell him anything and he can understand or respect my opinions. Though i feel I am wrong and I am putting him in a bad situation.

*shrug* I've had serious relations with women much older then myself. I find age not to matter all that much, 'though it complicates matters slightly. Just make sure you love the "who" instead of the "what"...

i think its possible that you are equating a father figure with a possible lover... and while that generally falls under Freudian theories of the Oedipus/Electra complexes, i think you'd want to steer clear of that.

so you admire him... great... so you're attracted to him... groovy.

at the moment, its very illegal (except in arkansas). in the grand scheme of things, this is most likely a crush. my advice, accept that you're feelings are most likely transient, and that in the long run you probably have a good friend. and, like Boris Karloff once said... "Friend... good"

you're not wrong for liking him, but i think it's a crush. i wouldn't tell him your feelings because even if he liked you back, it puts him an awkward position.

by the way, how do you know him?

tell him..how much older than you?

yeah... open THAT door... shed be better off MINIMIZING how he sees her sexually, not INCREASING...

He likes me as only a friend though

Keep it that way.


If a 32 year old man ever fell in love with my 16 year old daughter, I would probably kick the stupid out of him. I've had things for older women, but you have to draw the line somewhere, and a man that is TWICE your age is just too old. A relationship like that has a snowball's chance in hell of ever working. You two are going to have completely different goals in life, and different everything.

*agrees with duddy*


sorry hun..
~*Amy

somebody needs to read Lolita by Narbokov

I'm thinking more along the lines of R. Kelly...

what kinda book is lolita?


maybe ill check it out

i just dont want to ruin our friendship. good friends are hard to find.

PeAcE

i beleive one of the most important quotes of the books was... "This is a story about love"


haaaaaahahahahahahahahahahah