Two bible salesman came to my door today. Their pitch was
" Don't live in fear because we are at war, God has told us of Armageddon, which has begun, and as long as you believe in Him, afterall is blown to shit buy nuclear weapons, this world will be a better place. And you will go to Heaven even if you don'tlove to see this new world."
I was in shock. "That's all fine and dandy, but I don't believe in God. Besides, nostradamus predicted armageddon too."
They weren't sure who Nostradamus was so I filled them in. Then they said" Don't worry, you are not alone. Many people don't believe in God because how could all this be happening if there was one?"
I laughed. "No, you don't understand. My disbelief in your God has nothing to do with losing faith because we are at war. It has to do with my belief that the bible is a fable, nothing more, and christianity is a lifeline for those who cannot accept responsibility for their own actions and blame it on the devil and ask this higher power for forgiveness. I don't believe I am sinful, I merely act on the instincts i have been given as a human, and I don't feel it's anything to be ashamed about."
They smile, no knowing how to respond."Here take our pamphlet and read it over. Be open minded about the light of Jesus." I tell them to hold on and run inside. I come back with a pamphlet of my own.
"I'll take yours if you will be open minded enough to read mine."I say. They take it and gawk at the front illustration. It is a picture from a children's bible of a little boy with his head down in Jesus's lap. The caption I put above it read" Would you rather serve in Heaven or reign in Hell?" I think they got the message. Jeez, what's a girl got to do to get them off her porch?

The killer question is..

If the perfect person was born on an island and grew up with the perfect life would they get into heaven if they had never even heard of a bible?

They'll come up with some answer after a few minutes of inner panic.

Whatever their answer it will allow you to say "well then I don't need a bible"

but there is no perfect person or a perfect island. So then you do need the bible.

But would this perfect person need a bible?

Jesus never had a bible..... did he get into heaven?

Jesus used the bible to teach. maybe this perfect person would use it to teach us as well.

but if there was no bible to begin with, there was obviously no need for one in the first place.

I think people take the bible to seriously(understatement of the year). I mean sure there are some good morals illustrated, but most of it is hypocritical. "thou shalt not kill",but"thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" is my personal favorite. And people seem to think these things actually happened, well if that is so, then so did the stories in Aesop's fables, I mean, that has good morals and king Midas turning everything he touched to gold is about as realiztic as a dead man coming back to life and walking on water or turning blood into wine.

*Shrugs* Anyone who says the Devil made me do it, obviously hasn't read the Bible anyway.

The one problem that the bible sellers have with me is I was a christian once, so I fight them on equal ground... And I always ask them, Why Should I have to wait for god to give me Heaven when I can create it here and Now?

LOL If only he'd thought to flick to the back, it would have saved him a lot of bother

It probably would have pissed off John, Paul, George and Ringo...sorry, Mark and Luke to see that he already had a copy, that would have undermined their copyrights completely

I had a freaky neighbor who told me that "God saw the end of the world when he created it". That's worth a thought or two.

On a side note: As punishment for my bad grades in school, my mom used to MAKE me stand outside and talk to the Jehovah's Witnesses... She actually locked me out of the house...

It worked....

two mormons came to my door 2 days ago, gave me the book of mormon.. so far i've read 10 pages and have already found 3 contradictions. heh.
and they didn't like my lip ring at all so i constantly played with it while they were telling me that my pentagram is the sign of the devil. lol

These people were just blind pawns........ poor things
Interesting do all mormons understand what their "religion" is about or they just blindly believe.........

aren't most religions based on blindly believing in something?

Sure YES YES and YES! But .....in some religions if u start finding out more details about it , and compare some facts, learn the history ,you don't even have to go too far and study their religion that much in order to see bullshit they write.....

Can you illustrate this philosophy further, please? Maybe in another thread?

Now that's funny. One of these days I'm going to have a chat with the Jehovah's Witnesses or the Mormons about their attempts to convert me. Oh the fun that will be.

when you see them coming... break out your secret stash of Satan items and invite them in for tea.

Does anyone else think that selling religion door to door cheapens it and puts it on the level, of, say, a vacuum cleaner or a set of encyclopedias or even girl scout cookies?

That's my main issue with the door to door bible sales.

definately girl scout cookies. The next time a God-seller comes to your door... listen to their spiel, nod your head and whatnot, and when the finish... ask what kind of attachments come with the vacuum.

Glad I'm not the only one who sees how ridiculous selling religion door to door is