my childhood basically ended when i was 8, i was forced to grow up and i just got too mature too quick. i guess i had an ok childhood, alot of it was weird though. alot of the things i remember are mostly the bad but there are a few good ones.

i can blame alot of how i am on the past,but i must also be thankful for it. i mean if i hadent seen violence and destroyed lives i could have ended up a heart less bitch not caring at all. if i hadent been constently teased i could have ended up a tormentor ,making someone else feel bad and not seeing a damn thing wrong with it. yes ,the same situtaions that shaped my good qualitys also made my fucked up ones but if i had one without the other then id be just be another idiot in the crowd.

my childhood was...eh. I'd say bad, although not as bad as some of these. but bad.

did you guys know that rapists can go to Heaven? one of the big reasons I'm not a Christian... all rapists should die.

::nods:: I'm done.

Lets see... first of all I really can't remember anything before the age of 11 (7th grade). I was told once by a professor that I probably had some deep dark secret that I supressed. Who knows.... I don't much worry about it. As far as I know, those were the 'good times'. At 11 I went to jr. high, and got into drugs and drinking. By 8th grade I was considered the 'school bully' as was stated by one of my school counselors. They treated me as if I was an infant when I could see through all their BS. My principal told me once that 'because of me, no substitue teacher would ever want to teach there again.' Yeah, right. I did not actually pass jr. high because I was gone the majority of the time. Suspened or just out with 'older' friends. My mother had a bf that was rather touchy feely with me. Made me sick. When she would get in a fight with him, it would be my fault, and I would get kicked out of the house. He was an alcoholic and they fought regularly. Which put me out in the streets quite a bit. I had my first 'real' bf when I was 12 (8th grade) he was 18. Never had actual intercourse. Oral sex because as he said, 'this is what all couples do.' LOL well, I fell for it at the time. When i was 13, I went to high school, and my problems with drugs and alcohol got worse. I did not have many friends there. All of my 'friends' did not go to school at all. So I would ditch a lot, and go get drunk in the football field at lunch. I got another boyfriend that year. This one was violent. Used to beat me black and blue. Nobody EVER said anything about the bruises I had on my body. EVER. Not once. Big BLACK bruises... hmm... anyway, he beat me whenever he felt like it, and I was very scared of him. He decided one day to rape me while his cousin watched. Then they came again the next day and did the same. At this point I muttered that I did not want to be his 'girl' anymore, and basically went into hiding. I quit doing drugs because I could no longer be near any of my friends. They were his friends too. I basically put myself in a shell until I was 17. I graduated just after I turned 17, and was free from HS. I got my first bf since the one who raped me. He was good to me, but I had interest in another. (dumb me) I ended up dating the other and this turned out to be abusive also. Incidently at this time i had 'found god' and was pouring myself into church.. I guess they gave me adaquate pity for my wounds. Pity is what I was seeking. The church asked me to go away cause I asked too many questions, and the church was already falling apart. I went to another church. Lots of very nice people. Lots of good friends who told me to search for the answers I was seeking on my own. I did. I read The Satanic Bible and it outlined my beliefs exactly. I never went back to church. I decided that I was better then all the shit I had been through. Just makes me a bit seasoned. Just made me stronger. I did wind up in another abusive relationship, but this time it wa different. After the very first hit I turned around and walked away. It was hard, but that is what you have to do. You just have to. Nobody desearves to be beaten, guy or girl. That is something I won't stand for now. As for my parents well I never really knew my dad, and my mother and I have never had a strong relationship. She knows nothing of my past. She knows nothing of the person I am today. She knows what I let her, and that is all...

I am 26 now, and looking back, I would not change a thing. I love the person I am today, and my experiences have made me that person. Advice for others. Hmm... I would say just think about yourself first and love yourself always. Don't put yourself down for anything or anyone. You are truly all you have in the end. Love the person you are.

>FuckDoll<

Thus far its been a fairly interesting read but I have to ask the question: Why is this thread in the Religion & Philosophy forum?


Shadowborn

It may effect your religous viewpoint if you had a bad childhood, tring to find something to latch onto or become bitter against.

Ah. Ok, seems like an almost plausible theory. So since I had a fairly decent childhood, that would explain why I fell away from the religion I was brought up in?


Shadowborn

Its not really an explaination just a possible factor.

What kind of Childhood...
Well i'll say im a product of the environment which i existed in.
Childhood years at school were shit... i dont think i actually have a single fond memory from my school days.

I dont think i really started to enjoy anything in my life until i was an adult, when i was able to enforce changes upon the environment which had caused me to hate life.

Final thoughts... 'such is life...'

sad thing is i can relate to that. my mom was told she could neva have kids, and she was happy because she didn't want any anyway. then i came along. the mistake

i was a mistake also.

These people should be sterlized at birth, they dont have a clue how to rasie children.

most people don't, although I think my parents did a decent job. (look what they had to work with...) I guess I feel luckier with my parents now. they TRIED to have me....hmm...

My parents did not plan on having me, but that never affected the love they had for me. They also never told me that I was unplanned. I figured that out when I was old enough to count.

I didn't plan to have either one of my kids, either... that doesn't mean I don't love or want them. I couldn't imagine my life without them. My marriage didn't work out, with their father, and I've raised them on my own, since my youngest was 6 months old.

Because a child is unplanned doesn't necessarily mean they are unwanted. To tell any child that they aren't wanted is betraying a trust that they were given as parents. They should never have had children. To me, any form of child abuse is the ultimate betrayal... and to tell a child that he isn't wanted is child abuse.

Kat

hehehe..my friends said the same thing about my parents..also how did would kill them too...thats another story.

its sad cause my parents rely on me and my sister to take care of everyone...like i don't have enough stress and problems already.

In my aunts opinion, the reason my mom and dad split up when i was born is because my dad had all the ante-natal AND post-natal depression, while my mom was in hospital with preclampsia trying to sneak out of the ward and get chocolate bars .

my dad left my mom after a month after i was born, and my mom had to drive from london all the way back to birmingham in floods of tears with me in the backseat. my dad only wanted to get involved with me once i got past the age of four.

Most people would say that I had a pretty shit childhood, won't go into the gorey details but I spose it was a bit pants.

I had to grow up very quickly and I have to make a lot of effort to keep my past from effecting the way I live now.

Still, no matter how much I wish many of the things that happened to me hadn't, I always remember that it is those things that made me the way I am today and I managed to get through them so if I got through all that shite then I can get throigh anything raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargghh!

I do have some very happy memories as well as some bad ones - you can't appreciate good without bad.

I had acess to petty explosives and non-lethal weapons. I was a happy child with very unhappy teachers.

The biology block still hasn't recovered.

neonwrath, marry me NOW goddamit!

Most of us have mentioned the simple thing... we were mistakes.
Well i was as well,.. but you also have to ask the question,..
Do you know anyone who has fallen pregnant accidently ?

Alot of people readily jump into the 'sack' with no protection, for various reasons. How would you react if you got a girl (or you personally got) pregnant ? Also what would you do, if the other person involved didnt believe in abortion ? What then ?

While we can blame our parents for ruining our lives, they can also blame us for ruining their lives.

Final thought... apparently less than 25% of births are actually planned... so think positively, your in the majority.

Agreed, corporate. I've got two littl'uns myself, none of them planned. You'd think I would have learned, but nah... Anyway, I decided already the first time around that it was me who ended up in that situation, so I'd better get off my butt and take some responsibility.