okay, i was just thinking about this and i thought "hey, i;m 23, only been to two funerals, but i've been through a lot of shit death-wise.......

when i was three i killed a kitten, threw it against the wall, i did it by accident really........my dad and i have killed multiple animals where we live now: opossums, racoons, moles, rats, birds, etc......i saw a garage door go down on a kitten once at my gf's, squished the mother fucker, i was laughing so hard, it was so goddamn funny.....once, catching the bus when i was a kid, a deer lay dead two feet next to me........okay, now for the people.....this is the most fucked up thing ever (to me): when i was a senior, last weeks left in school this new kid came in; he was in band and football but was going to quit band so he could play football because you can't do both at our school; during lunch, i actually said to him "why waste your life away on football? you won't get anywhere with football...." two months later the kid died with a buddy of mine in a car crash after football practice.........fucked up.........at college, my roomies and i are pals with a campus cop, she took us to the morgue here on campus.........my grandmother died when i was in college....i remember seeing her dead body, and the only reason i did so was because i've never seen a dead person before (this was before the morgue trip).........last story i can think of, i walked passed a dude who OD'd on the way to a concert, i watched the paramedics throw the sheet over his head............and there are some other stories as well, not too mention i wasn't expected to live pass three weeks of age

Interesting. You laughed when you watched the kitten get squished? Wow. That's... um. great.

Anyway.

Animals...
*My dog was put to sleep in my arms.
*I cut a turkey's head off with an axe.
*I grew up on a horse farm... have had to deliver two stillborne foals and a stillborne kid (goat).
*I walked into my grandma's garage one year when I was.. probably 12 or so, to find a skinned, headless bear hanging from the beams with a pool of blood underneath it (uncle just brought it home from a hunting trip and had just skinned it).
*Had a goat that got tetnus. I didn't know he'd gotten cut by a rusty part of the fence in the pasture... died a pretty nasty death, muscles tensing up and not being able to breathe and whatnot. yuck.

People-
*I saw a man on a motorcycle get decapitated by a semi.
*I watched my grandmother die.
*I saw a young woman get hit by a car... smacked her face into the hood of the car, rolled onto the ground, and bled to death.

I guess you could say I am desensitized on the subject of death.I have seen animals die,but I dont think it really matters.About dead people, I tend to see it as them going to a better place,so at funerals I dont really cry or go into shock or denial or whatever.When I see a corpse (and I have)I just understand.Dont like it sometimes,but what shade of mourning can bring back the dead?My very first brush with the concept of death and killing,was with a bird hatchling when I was about 9 or 10. I guess it had somehow fell out of its nest.My step cousin found it,and it was full of ants,but still alive. My cousin wanted to step on it.I just stood there,quite emotionless,as he was gearing up to do it,happily.At the last minute I stopped him , and picked it up,brushed off the ants,put it near the nest. But the mother didint take it back.So I am guessing it starved to death.

Death, I don’t do anything with death, my old family is starting to die off, I don’t go to funerals. I have weird and as my parents say “Shameful” views on death. I just don’t have a mourning process, when I was like 4 I went to a friends funeral, I never went to another one again. Why waste time just get over it, but most people are a little more empathetic than me.
I once put a firecracker in a birds mouth boom.
I shot minnows at cars with a slingshot from a river before.
I had to kill my pet bird, put in the tailpipe of a car, wrapped in a tissue, the vet says that’s the “humanity” way to do it.
I fried a live fish on a tin roof.
I killed a lobster in boiling water.

I died once, but i was only a day old or so, so i dont really remember it. Anyways, they brought me back, obviously, so here i am.

funny how captin obvious works

hmm, i've seen lots of animals die and they never really effected me...
now people its something else. every time someone dies, i am reminded how delicate we really are. most of the death i have seen are family members.
*my 23 y.o aunt (moms baby sister) was shot in the head by her bf and then layed her on the couch, with a blanket covering her. i was about 3 when me and my mom found her.
*my tata (grandpa) had a heart attack at the kitchen table when we were having our usual sunday morning visit, i was 5. he later died on the way to the hospital.
*my cousin commited suicide with a shot gun. his brother Ian and i found him slumped over next to his sisters bed.
*my cousin Tito was shot in the back when we had went out to celebrate his graduation from college. last thing he told a group of us was " i'm okay, it doesnt even hurt"
* my cousin Ruben was shot in the stomache at a party we where throwing for his moms b-day. it was his g/f ex, he later died at the hospital from internal bleeding.
* my brother and i were driving behind his friend following him to another party when a drunk driver T-hit him into a ditch. he was brain dead, so they pulled the plug two days later.
*my uncle (moms brother) just recently passed away about 2 months ago. he had OD on some bad stuff. the thing that i dont get about him isnt the fact that his death was preventable, but the fact of how he always played with his life.
he would always put a gun to his head and say crazy stuff...like two days before he actually died, he kept telling us how he had a metalic taste in his mouth. he said " oh shit this means i'm gonna die " and he laughed.
when his g/f found him he had chocked on his vomit...

i think thats enough of my rambling

thatz mighty damn fucked-up man