The wacky hijinks of the Zero-G club. - Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions

Synikul · **The wacky hijinks of the Zero-G club. -** 02-06-07

Quote:

Moonstruck astronaut’s mission improbable to murder her rival

A space shuttle astronaut was last night charged with attempted murder after allegedly attacking and trying to kidnap her rival in an apparent Nasa love triangle.

Captain Lisa Nowak, 43, who spent 13 days aboard the shuttle in July, told police that she was “involved in a relationship” with Commander William Oefelein, 41, a graduate of the US Navy’s “Top Gun” flight school who piloted a shuttle mission to the International Space Station in December.

She said that she had decided to act after learning that Commander Oefelein, nicknamed “Billy O”, was also involved with Colleen Shipman, a US air force captain assigned to a shuttle launch support unit.

According to the police report, the married mother of three drove from Houston to Orlando to confront her love rival after she had learnt that Captain Shipman was returning to her home near the Kennedy Space Centre in Florida.

Police said that Captain Nowak wore nappies for her mission so that she did not have to stop to urinate during the 950-mile drive from Houston - a technique used by astronauts during launch and reentry.

Disguised in a black wig and tan trenchcoat, Captain Nowak waited for Captain Shipman’s aircraft to land before dawn on Monday and then boarded an airport shuttle bus with her to the car park.

Hearing “running footsteps” behind her, Captain Shipman hurried to her car and locked herself inside, police said. Captain Nowak slapped the window and tugged at the door, asking Captain Shipman for a lift.

When Captain Shipman rolled down the window two inches, Captain Nowak allegedly sprayed her with a chemical that made her eyes burn, prompting her to drive off to seek help.

Police found Captain Nowak dumping two bags in a rubbish bin. They contained not just the discarded coat and black wig but also an airgun, a 4in penknife, a new steel mallet and several rubbish bags. Inside her car, police found pepper spray, latex gloves, directions to Captain Shipman’s home and nappies, including two soiled ones, “that Mrs Nowak admitted to using so she did not have to stop to urinate”.

Shoot, you could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

Quote:

Also in the car were copies of e-mails between Captain Shipman and Commander Oefelein, and “a letter that indicated how much Mrs Nowak loved Mr Oefelein”.

A police affidavit said: “The facts that Mrs Nowak drove approximately 900 miles, urinated in diapers so that she did not need to stop, stayed at a hotel where she paid in cash and used a false name and address to register, steathily followed her victim while in disguise and possessed multiple deadly weapons at the time she confronted the victim . . . gives this investigator probable cause to believe that Mrs Nowak intended to murder Mrs Shipman.”

Kelly Humphries, a spokesman at the Johnson Space Centre in Houston, Texas, said yesterday: “We do not really understand it any more than anyone else does. Nasa and all the folks here are basically stunned.”

Commander Oefelein has two children, but is reported to be divorced. Captain Shipman is believed to be single. Captain Nowak, who has a teenage son and twin five-year-old daughters, is a graduate of the US Naval Academy and a former test pilot who has logged 1,500 hours’ flight time on more than 30 types of aircraft. Her husband, Richard, works as flight controller for Nasa.

In her biography she lists her interests as running, playing piano and collecting African violets. She joined the Nasa programme in 1996 and made her first space flight as a robot-arm operator aboard the Discovery shuttle in July.

Although she has never gone into orbit with Commander Oefelein, the two trained together for 11 days in 2002 at a Canadian army cold-weather survival camp. Captain Nowak was originally charged with attempted kidnapping, attempted vehicle burglary and battery. But before the day was out prosecutors added a charge of attempted first-degree murder with a deadly weapon, which carries a possible life sentence.

Donald Lykkebak, her lawyer, called the astronaut’s actions a “mistake” but denied that she intended to kill Captain Shipman. “What she did was spray her with pepper spray, no more,” he said.

Amanda Cowan, the prosecutor, insisted, however, that the fact that Captain Nowak was carrying weapons in her bag when she accosted Captain Shipman showed an intention to kill her.

Judge Michael Murphy agreed to release Captain Nowak on $25,500 (£13,000) bail but ordered her to wear an electronic tracking device on her ankle and not to have any contact with the alleged victim.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle1343460.ece

This could be the basis of a new sitcom.

Tozzy · 02-07-07

wow. obsession!

smart people may know alot of cool junk, but doesn't mean their minds are stable.

alot of the time, they're the most unstable.

thefr0g · 02-07-07

The strange thing is the background checks and psych exams that you have to go through to get a job like that.... she must have totally snapped.

Shok · 02-07-07

Sorry, it has to be said. I can't resist... She's obviously a LUNATIC!

Wicked Lady · 02-07-07

I like the part where she wore the adult diapers. That's hot.

DutchDiva · 02-07-07

It even made the news here . . . the adult diapers . . .
I thought that was very funny LOL !

Pyrric Dicktory · 02-07-07

say what you want but that's some hardcore determination and planning. only she got caught.

Synikul · 02-07-07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wicked Lady

I like the part where she wore the adult diapers. That's hot.

Wait until you have a child, it will end any association you have with diapers and hotness.

BeautysDemise · 02-07-07

Ick. I agree.

I couldn't wait for Lilan to outgrow diapers.

Metagion · 02-07-07

Can you imagine one of the pilots snapping on the Moon? Or Mars? Just chuck 'em out the airlock......

Metagion · 02-07-07

(Goooooooooooooooddddddddddd I shouldn't know that. Too much Sci Fi, not enough real life.)

ArSiNiK · 02-08-07

if anything it shows that all humans are capable of stupidity, no matter what your job title is. i just can't believe this is becoming world news. if the monkey that the russians put in space tried to kill its handler no one would care.

Metagion · 02-08-07

........unless it was on YouTube.

Iron's Rite · 02-09-07

No, only youtubers would care. Then every loser who can't come up with something funny on their own would post it on their favorite internet hangout.
It is a great story, although all I can think of in respose to it is: Yeah, people are stupid and crazy. No shit, you don't say. I never would have known. Tell me more.

Wicked Lady · 02-09-07

It's not so much that she's crazy, but that she's an astronaut. Astronauts go through rigorous physical testing and conditioning and endless psychological evaluations to make sure they don't freak out in space.

Apparently home girl can handle space but not love. I think that might be why people find it so interesting.

Synikul · 02-09-07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iron's Rite

No, only youtubers would care. Then every loser who can't come up with something funny on their own would post it on their favorite internet hangout.

But how many losers would post the article on their favorite internet hangout and immediately think of quoting Dr. Strangelove after reading the list of items she had? That's right, nigga! I'm the only loser who would do that!

Iron's Rite · 02-10-07

I know for almost certain that I was one of the first people to ever quote Dr. Stranglove on this board, it was during flame war with Sixgun-Symphony or someone with the same kind of view-point. I compared him to Gen. Jack D. Ripper and I even posted a Wav. file of Slim Pickens riding the bomb at the end of the film . . .
Beat that.