So I've been under a lot of stress lately, and starting about a week ago, whenever I think too much about all the crap in my life, my left eye starts to twitch. Quite violently in fact. It started out as sort of amusing, but now it's just obnoxious. My friend has started calling me "Twitchy McSpastic"... cute. So now it's 3:30 in the morning, and the muscle under my eye is hopping around like there's a chipmunk on crack under my skin.

Speaking of chipmunks... there's a damn annoying rodent of some sort that lives in a tree RIGHT outside my window that keeps chirping like a bird with a megaphone all night long. As if I didn't have enough trouble getting to sleep. Makes me wish I hadn't given my BB gun to my sister.

I need a cigarette... but they're in my car. And my car is not within reaching distance of my couch. DAMN!

...tranquilizer?

you spelled enema wrong.

and that's just gross.

Insert tuba into vagina and turn counter-clockwise.

Nah, tried that ;-)

Wanna borrow my boner? :O

What are you talking about? I still have it from last night.

twitches suck, i get one usualy right before i start yelling at someone. it's my cheek that starts twitching though, so not as annoying ( i don't think anyways)

OHSNAP, NINJA.

That reminds me. Tell yer ho DIS HIS BABY CUZ HE GOT HIS HAT.

I think he'd actually be excited about that....

that's what you told me too... excuses excuses

Dat j00 on Boomerang's myspace top friends #1 slot? Add me, nigga.

http://www.myspace.com/1337erthanj00

I SAY NAO!

Not as excited as I'll be when that child support check comes in.

Srsly. My friend Cap n' Roy was at the health department cuz his pee burned, and this big fat black lady was holding a baby. She sees this other black dude walk in and starts shouting and holding up the baby, "DIS YO BABY". And he's like "No, bitch. Ain't my baby." And she's all like "HE GOT YO HAT!"

Maury Povich ftw!

oh god that's funny. I just woke up my boyfriend from laughing. Thanks a fucking lot.

Sorry. Just give him slubbies real quick, and he'll be alright.

Baby, I <3 j00.

Hey, you're mad nerdy, werd? Do you IRC?

Oh he's fine... he just looks at me like I'm nuts for being awake when the sun comes up. Hey, we don't all have jobs you know.