This thread will be mainly about fatal toxins and their effect on the body. Last night I swallowed approximately 42 1-mg alpralozam (benzodiazepine) tablets in hopes of shutting down my CNS. I don't remember anything much after that, but then again here I am today at 3:30 PM crawling out of bed and talking to you. I thought about acetominophen but I'm not really sure that hepatoxicity is the way to go, I look at the side effects of hepatoxicity and shudder, so mainly I want to talk about neurotoxicity.
I'm no scientist really so I was hoping to find some chemicals that can shut down the CNS without causing feveral seizure, or alot of vomiting. I'm considering an opiod like fentanyl but ever since I was born i've had a real bad resistance to any morphine-related products including fentanyl, roxycodone, dilaudid etc. so I would probably have to dose pretty high just to even have a slight effect on my CNS. I am most interested in acquiring a chemical is strictly poison, that is besides rat poison because of it's extreme psychoactive effect on the brain, I don't want to use alcohol either because of the vomiting.
I have to go to work now but I'll be back later tonight to post alot more about this and the research I've done, any links or info would be much appreciated.

http://www.na.org/

http://mentalhelp.net/

http://www.samhsa.gov/

i say this out of love although it may sound harsh. saturn stop picking at your scabs. give it a rest, take your meds and go outside and play. it never pays in life to take yourself or your misery too seriously.

you should try antihistamines. i've mixed some with my mom's celtic sea salt with interesting results.

I'm very familiar with the effect antihistamines can have on THC receptors, you name it i've taken 10x the normal dose. In the case of diphenhydramine 100x, all it seems to cause is psychoactivity, and mental distress.

I actually found alot out at the mental help site by reading 'the nature of schizophrenia'. More than my shrink ever told me. Thank you. The treatment costs are way out of my league but at least I know a little more about it.

Saturn... bro, we have known each other for a long time (IRL).... and we have done some incredibly stupid shit together, but why are you trying to shut down your CNS?? sounds kinda risky... dontcha think?

anyway, we should chat (pm me w/ your number and a good time to call)

For several years now I've walked the line between thinking Sik Simon was an attention whore phony idiot who likes to brag about his drug history... and a psychotic, paranoid phony idiot who likes to brag about his drug history.

Interesting.

dimethylethanamine

its not an act.
and I wouldnt consider him a junkie, hes just nucking futz.... which is cool.
we were roomates for a while, when I lived in florida... My wife and I were living w/ him when we got married. He is one of the coolest people I have ever met, psychotic to say the least, but a good friend.

Eh I was trying to give myself the long sleep ya know catch my drift, just so tired these days, nothing much in my life besides work and I just fucking hate everybody, all my friends hate me and have left me alone forever, my asthma medication is out of the freaking roof, some guy at the end of my street always wants to sik his dog on me and i'm gonna end up stabbing him and his bitch in the face with my switchy and doing some time... I wish life was like a NES and you could just hit power you know, well anyways I really really really dont feel like talking to anybody on the phone but if you must its (727) 736 5422, Id prefer to talk in person or online though, and as for being a junkie I havn't had even a spec of H in over a year let alone even pot or alcohol so basically WL you is wrong, any drugs I take are strictly for OD purposes. Sure I'm goin off the deep end and theres alot of things fucked up with me medically that I could sit and bitch about but it ain't gonna make anything better and instead of support all I get is "Be a fucking man" on this site anyways, which I mean I expect anyways i'm not a 14 year old girl even though sometimes I probably sound like one. Eep is corns. I appreciate your concern though James. Kindness is so uncommon these days.

fuck that bro, come visit me.... you can totally crash on my couch.

I would actually enjoy some time away from my life but unfortunately I work 7 days a week and without me the whole damn restaurant would fall to pieces. You should have seen the look on this waitress' face yesterday when I said 'HTML' she just kinda stared at me like I was a math problem or something.

well i'm sorry if i added to your misery. i meant my advice in good faith. an awful lot of people i deal with on a routine basis are struggling with problems, some of them overwhelmingly tragic. the people who are surviving them and doing well are the ones who don't focus on the negative but struggle for the sunlight 24/7. you strike me as a poetic soul, not a sick one. but you are young and the young are often in love with the romantic drama of their pain. it's a bad habit to get into. so i advise you to avoid it at all costs if you can and spend your time finding ways to celebrate the meaningful in your life. whatever that may be.

here endeth the pedantic rant.

listen bro, fuck your job... obviously its not making you happy. you can come work up here, they have resturaunts and everthing . Cost of living is SOOOOO much cheaper than pinellas.... you could find an apt for like 300 a month.

You didn't add to my misery in fact everything you said made sense, I only wonder how you know I was young and do I know you or something. Honestly the most meaningful thing in my life has long been gone and despises me, so I mean when I celebrate that I probably look a little infactuated you know, I literally eat, sleep, crap and pee, and work, and write every once in a while, that's it. Sometimes I shave and shower when I feel up to it. What's really worth celebrating about that? I used to use drugs to feel better but that got old pretty quick, now all I do is look at people and wish I had their life and curse at the Heavens. I walk around stressed but I treat people with kindness and honesty and I try my hardest to help people but I never get anything back but more 'help me's' and 'fuck off's', weird looks and just flat out ignoring me altogether. I can't figure out what people are judging me on but I know it's not because I'm a bad person because all I do is help people and animals 24.7 I just don't understand.

I consider it and I honestly can't think of a reason not to but still the thought of such change scares the living shit out of me. You guys are nice people and I want to see your new baby so bad but i've lived out in the country before and I tend to get really alone feeling, like even more than anywhere, and I'm in the middle of some serious surgeries and I really don't want to change surgeons until its over. That and like I said I'd be scared shitless.

Plus my best friend has been hurting his baby's mother and if he keeps it up I'm gonna have to knock some sense into him.

surgery?

that sucks ass.... I will keep you in my thoughts, bro. I hope everything works out for the best. And BTW, the country???.... lol .... I live in lexington, its bigger than clearwater and dunedin combined.