In twenty minutes, I'll be heading off to teach my first English 101 class. I've got two dozen young, impressionable minds in my hands an hour a day for the next three months. Wish me luck; pray for them...

sweet white baby jesus -

bless these children as they suffer the slings and arrows of the brainwashing institution that is american education system. let them know that despite the lack of experience this teacher has, you will be holding their hand with your tiny white baby paw.

embrace them with your kindness as they immerse themselves in grammatical correctitude - and teach them humility as they denounce all slang. in they mercy.

amen.

There could be hope for Civilization yet......

.........or not.

Time will tell (unless we see you on CNN, that is.)

After reading the assessment sheets I handed out today, I am relieved by the fact that about a quarter of the class have taken either honors/AP English in high school, or some type of college prep course.

The down side is that the vast majority of them were products of the public education system...

Given the facial reactions to my "no electronic devices on or visible in class" rule, I might have a little trouble in that area. Other than that, the first day went swimmingly.

YES!! ban the electronics in your class!! Good thinking on your part!
You teaching english.. *shudders*
On second thought.. why don't you come to utah and teach my sons honors english class so he'll actually learn something other than 'cloning' or how to write prose..

Don't worry about anything, just do what teachers are supposed to do, give them lectures on your own political philosophy, and make sure they know that it will help their grade if they reflect that in their writing.

I agree about the electronic devices. If I could pick one thing to un-invent, it would be the cell phone.

the cell phone? really?

nah, i'd uninvent something a little more useless like pre-req classes. those did absolutely nothing for me in school. sadly, i think english 101a, b and c all fell into that category too. colleges should start teaching awesomeness 101, sense of humor 103 and learn to take a fucking joke 1a. that would make my life a thousand times better.

Of course, you passed "Sexy Motherfucker 101" a while back, so I'm not surprised at the rest..

And yeah, I agree about cell phones. I call them "deer trackers" because of the "where are you, dear?" phone calls I get from them in the space of a few minutes.

Hahahahahaha!!! I'm supposed to be easing them into college life and giving them the ability to confidently and clearly express themselves in their wriiting, and read critically. If I try to explain my political philsophy to them and expect them to understand and regurgitate it, they'll all fail. I don't have a clear idea of my political philosophy half the time...

I fucking hate them. I hated them before I started teaching. It always amazes me how someone's cell will start ringing in class, and it takes them forever to dig it out of whatever bag its in and shut it off, but let class end and they have them out, dialed, and to their ear before they've reached the door.

I told them that laptops were acceptable for notetaking and in-class research, but I didn't want to catch anyone doing online shopping or playing WoW in class (I actually sat next to a guy in a class last year who did just that.)

Welp, I just got done reading through their diagnostic essays the first time around. I'm feeling more confident with each passing day...I don't appear to have a single fucktard in the class, just a couple of bright ones who don't want to write.

I'm covering all those in my class, along with pay-fucking-attention 101, welcome to the real world outside of mommy and daddy's house, and I don't care if you're morally opposed to the viewpoints in this essay; you'll read and respond to it anyway.

i actually took that class twice, just for the fun of it.

I thought it was for teaching purposes later, but OK, we'll work with that.....

Huge thumbs up to the no electronics in class rule. I am instituting something similar in work and, like you, have met with a lot of long faces and mutterings. Ha! Get used to it biatches.

GOOD LUCK.

I wish someone would have made me put my electronics away in class. I was always on Instant Messenger typing to friends instead of paying attention to class. Luckily, the teachers words managed to seep into my head and somehow i graduated with honors. But i think I could have done much better with 100% of my attention devoted to the class.

Go straight to detention and do twenty push ups with a hedgehog balanced on your head.

then why didn't you? too cool for school?

An ANGRY hedgehog. Like Sonic, but more pissed off.