So I got to thinking, this is the essence of my belief about human stupidity(It should be very very painful) taken to the extreme. So as sort of a commemoration, I will be visiting the darwin awards website, picking one at random and posting it for your enjoyment. Today's is: "Justice is Served" or as I like to call it "That'll Learn Ya, You Fucking Prick"

(8 April 1999, Georgia) William was 45 years old and boasted a string of arrests and several criminal convictions. You would be stretching the truth if you called him an exemplary citizen. But even worse, he was an abusive husband. Charges of battery and false imprisonment had been leveled against him for allegedly tying his common-law wife to their bed with an extension cord in 1997.

According to the police report, he told her "he was not going to let her out, feed her or allow her to go to work." Rosemary managed to free herself and crawl out a window to summon police. William was jailed for two months, which he spent writing poems and drawing pictures of the couple in wedding finery, before Rosemary begged a judge to send him home because she couldn't afford the rent alone.

On Thursday, William doused Rosemary with gasoline and set her on fire. Then he wrenched a gas line loose, apparently to make her death like an accident. But his mislaid plan backfired, when the gas line ignited and blew him up, putting an end to his boorish behavior.

what a fucking dumbass. well, he deserved it.

And provided us with amusement at how he did, though I don't think he suffered enough. He should have been hit with shrapenal and slowly bled out

nah, he was blown to pieces. i think it was completely appropriate. just too quick.

My point exactly, where as if he had been nailed with shrapenal, and slow bled out, he would have been suffering for possibly hours

Today's award is: "The Daily Grind" or "Woodchipper VS. Dumbass"
"He really got caught up in his work."
(01 March 2000, Maine) The owner of the Carrier Chipping Company inadvertently reproduced the chilling climactic scene in the movie Fargo, and was rent asunder by his own wood chipper.

The chipper, affectionately known as the "Hog," will take birch or maple logs up to 24 inches in diameter and reduce them to 3/4" chips of wood. Employees were working late to make up for time spent repairing equipment malfunctions earlier in the day. When the Hog jammed, Michael climbed the conveyor belt feeding the chipper and used a rake to break up the bark jam in the chute.

Director C. William Freeman of the Bangor Occupational Safety and Health Administration said, "Generally, our experience (of fatal accidents involving chippers) has found two causes: inadequate machine guarding, or a failure to institute an effective lockout-tagout program when someone is unjamming pieces of equipment." Apparently Michael was not a proponent of lockout-tagout procedures. His efforts were directed against a machine that was still in operation.

The Skowhegan resident was somewhat the worse for the wear after his passage through the Hog. Police Chief Butch Asselin said that the remains would be subjected to DNA analysis for a positive ID, and added "I hope I never, ever see anything like this, ever again. I had a hard time sleeping last night."
He obviously didn't think the little red tags were of any importances. Boy he sure learnt otherwise.

Therein lies the rub. Classic.

Todays Award is: "Rappin' on Heaven's Door" or "Lowered Brain Function + Gun= Bad Juju"
(28 February 2000, London, Ohio) Some artists bleed for their creative work, but usually not literally. That standard changed on Monday, when a gangster-rap video artist put his final effort into his project, and shot himself in the head while the cameras rolled.

24-year-old Robert created the 10-minute video at his apartment with his brother Michael and a friend named Fred. On camera, Robert reached for a .22-caliber handgun, swung the muzzle of the gun to his temple, and fired the gun.

The two co-producers hindered efforts to save the injured man. Police were summoned to the scene by complaints from a neighbor who objected to the loud music and violent shouting. But when they arrived, Michael had to be restrained from preventing police from controlling the scene, and Fred struck a paramedic. Both face misdemeanor charges.

Robert was 24 when he died in a coma at the Ohio State University Medical Center.

Stupidity, gansta style

i think its the music and the 'gangsta' rapper mentality. lets see now....rappers+guns = death.

B.I.G., Tupac, some others im sure. and of course, when any rapper gets in trouble with the law....it always seems to be about guns doesnt it?

Or sex, or "ho's" or money, or Escalades(they just had to go and fuck up a perfectly good luxery vehical, didn't they"

So did she.

"Yeah, I know the guy tied me up and treated me like a slave, but please let him come home; I can't pay the rent alone."

Portrait of an idiot.

And for today's award we have: "Fire Ants" or "What Part of Caution: Contents Flamible don't You Understand?"
(14 May 2001, New York) A woman was found burned to death, her body still on fire on a grassy area adjacent to her home in Rome. A lighter and a melted gas can were discovered nearby. After months of investigation, police turned up no evidence of foul play, and believe her demise was due to her habit of dousing anthills with gasoline while she smoked cigarettes

"Fucker, we're fire ants" "No you cocksucker, we're fire ants"

Leesee what we have today: "Chainsaw Insurance" or "Chop Chop, Hop to it"
(January 2002, Italy) A violent attack on an innocent man? Andreas, a 23-year-old ex-bouncer from Italy, was found lying in a pool of blood near a country road. Police initially mistook him for a victim of sadistic mutilation. His left leg had been nearly severed by a chainsaw. His last act was an emergency call to operators who heard only a "death rattle." By the time help arrived, copious bleeding had drained his body of blood.

Sad plight? Not quite.The incredible truth was far odder.

Andreas had conspired with his cousin in an insurance scam. The 29-year-old accomplice confessed that he was the "assailant" who attacked--and inadvertently killed--the younger man in a mutually planned insurance fraud that went badly awry.

Andreas had convinced his cousin to cut his left leg off with a chainsaw in order to reap nearly a million dollars from numerous insurance policies. Permanent disability was all that was required. Andreas relied on his cunning, and his knowledge of first aid, to survive the chainsaw incident.

The attack took place near a country lay-by. The cousin sawed Andreas' leg below the knee, and severed a major artery in a gambit timed too close for survival. Emergency crews arrived to find Andreas dead and his cousin fled, tossing the chainsaw in a river on the way out of town.

The cousin now languishes in a cell on homicide charges. Andreas' death was a classic example of fate noticing those who buy chain saws.

He's right up there with the gasoline lady. Just brimming with intelligence

this reminds me of the all too true fact, that stupid people deserve to die.

Not all, some need to be kept around to entertain the rest of us

well they entertain and then die. there will always be an endless supply of morons.

We need more orgies...

What would we do with the bodies though, thats about 5 billion people

it's interesting how I've only seen these Darwin Award stories in e-mails and never on TV or newspapers or anything that would validate them. i want the TRUTH (yes, i can handle the truth).

theres books filled with all these stories. check your local book store. btw, all the stories are true.