I am at the brink of a serious revelation about who i am and where i am going.

I am seventeen, female, korean, adopted, small in size, and of above average intelligence.

I have body-image issues, eating disorders, mood disorders, and intellect according to my group therapist at Ten Broeck Hospital.

I am underachieving and not enough according to who's at home.

Then i remember back to when i first came to DarkForum(then darkness.com), and why. I find myself here again and its changed quite a bit, as have i. I am lonely with not a thing to do with my life.

I graduate high school in 2 weeks. There will be 7 months to waste before i go off to college. I have to get my life together and untangled before then. For now ill look at myself from here.

Life is like a video game, the more people you kill, the more money you get, and the more money you get, the better weapons you can buy to kill more people with and make more money.

we should hook up. 7 months of fucking would do you wonders.

i plot to printer.

ah yes.. Post college syndrome... that was fun..

just so you know... ive always loved you avy.... and that fireworks pic you had in your sig

pc load letter? what the fuck is pc load letter?

Despite all the crap that's going on in your life, it's nice to hear from you. Hopefully we'll talk it up soon.

one day i KICK this piece of shit out into the parking lot.

mother shitter...

shit, i'm a free man and i haven't had a conjugal visit in 6 months.

shit, yeah man, i'd do two chicks at the same time.

watch out fer yer corn hole, bud.

It sounds like you have a lot on your mind and everyone is spewing out bullshit at you, so I'll do you the liberty of seriously replying to your serious thread.

You're 17 and about to graduate? I suggest you get a job as soon as possible, if you don't already have one and save as much money as possible. If the people who adopted you really, truly, make you feel as though you are underachieving, then money and a job is the fastest way to get away from them.

If you truly want to straighten up your shit, that's the best advice that anyone can give you in ANY situation. Forget that you're depressed and keep in mind always that what you're doing has a purpose. If anything keep in mind that you're trying to fly out and away of the fucking nest.

You just have to stay focused. Being lonely is what you're going to experience all through life. We're born alone, we die alone. Get over being lonely and just get used to it, in fact, be liberated by it and use it as your strength.

If all else fails, you can join the miliarty, sell your life away for a few years, stay completely focused and EVERYTHING, your education and your money is fixed.

That's it.

or stop moping and taking what everyone says at full value and get a fucking backbone.

That too. Suck it up. You can't be depressed you're whole life. When your a kid, that's fine. You can do whatever the fuck you want.


When you get older, you don't get to have very many bad days. If I were you, I'd try to stay with my parents for AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. It's free living. You wont appreciate that until you know what it's like to have your own place....


Parents are people too....Adults are kids. No one grows up. How you are now....the thought processes that you have and the way you make choices...it doesn't change much. This is it.

i'm a toys r us kid.

pfft... you guys are helping... what you need is... ignorance..

ignorance is bliss as i say... who cares if you suck... i mean... i do... and i dont care... and... if you dont care... your not depressed... well... thats the way its worked for me...

oh sure when i see that C i get a pain in my heart... but after a few seconds... i dont care anymore...

ok hold on a sec... lemme read your post again...

yeah... again dont give a fuck about anything.... who cares about eating disorders... i dont.... and image issues... once you stop caring... it all goes away...

if you need help... i got a friend moving to korea... he doesnt care about much... except maybe beating me at fighting games but yeah...

hmm.... that probably didnt help much either...

but remember... i still really like your avy

plug her back into the matrix.

I wanna go back into the matrix, I hate it here.