There are a lot of people who live with, or have lived with overprotective parents/guardians. A few of my best friends fall under this category, and to be quite blunt, they are not normal. Their parents won't let them date, won't let them take sex-ed classes at school, won't let them read certain books in English (now what is wrong with Grapes of Wrath?), control what friends their children have... etc.
One friend of mine is terrified of anything outside the four walls of her bedroom. She's become a hypochondriac since hitting high school. She won't use public restrooms, she carries antiseptic spray and a first aid kit with her everywhere. She sees murder and death around every corner, and is terrified of pregnant women, as if pregnancy was another one of the many diseases she rants about contracting if you're not careful. Her parents (one a doctor and the other a church junkie) instilled in her the belief that the only way she would stay alive and healthy is to stay at home, and refuse all contact with the outside world.
Another friend of mine has become the embodiment of teenage rebellion. She's drunk every weekend (while on "church retreats and sleepovers"), she's been pregnant three times now (all aborted), she keeps spare clothes (slutty ones) in her friend's car, she's been charged at least ten times for weed and meth, and she's run away from home six times, last count.
Both girls' parents are close friends. They go to the same church and have Bible meetings at eachother's houses to pray... or something. So how did these two girls turn out so incredibly different? Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying these two are bad people, not at all.. I love them both to death, but I've been noticing a pattern in some people with overprotective parents. Some become rebels, some hypochondriacs, some live their entire lives thinking that the rest of the world is better than them, some think they're not capable of doing anything right, and some think they're just weak, and won't amount to anything... ever. Does anyone else see a connection? What do you all think?

There is no such thing as overprotective parenting unless you inflict your own beliefs on the child (like Carrie style). I am not a parent, but being in a state of authority around children for a long time, I can say that I fully understand where parents are coming from.

When a child begins to come into their own when they are a teenager, it is the parents job to oppress them in any way possible.

All the symptons that you have listed that are supposed to be a direct conclusion from overprotective parents can be viewed in ANY style of parenting or any form of lifestyle or human being. Such complexes as hypochondria and inferiority are symptoms of their environment more than their home environment. You sound like you got a alot of fucked up friends.

Once you're 18 you can do whatever the fuck you want and it wont matter anymore. Cry me a damn river.

And don't worry, when you're 18, you will have a wider variety of people to choose from as far as friends go and you wont have to put up with this bullshit. The chances of you knowing anyone that you know now in 5 years will be very slim.

soul. sometimes you amaze me when you post. then i cry.

Once you're out of the house, kid, it wont matter anymore. You'll understand oneday that you're parents are just people too, and mor than likely you'll come to the realization that they're sad little old people.

*cries with patryn*

can you explain further why it's the parent's job to "oppress them in any way possible"? I'm 18, and in my teenage years, I've been given a fair amount of freedom I think. I've made mistakes and learned from them, but what happens if you're so sheltered you never get the chance to make those mistakes until you're out in the "real world" and you don't have any friends because you never learned how to relate to anyone other than the friends your parents chose for you?

I can see your points, and overprotective parenting doesn't always have an adverse affect, but sometimes it does...

my parents were a little overprotective but not to a heavy extent. some of the people i knew, especially going into college were just completely unaware of how to handle situations. some kept to themselves and others went crazy just like you described. nothing you can really do except try to help them out now they are out of that environment.

It is a parent's job to protect their children, not just for their children's sake, but their own. If they don't tell their kids that drugs are bad, the kids may never know and there may be drugs in their house and the parents will get blamed for it along with the kid. If the parents don't teach the child common courtesy, the child will be rude to everyone including the parents. It just makes the parent's job easier if they keep the kid in a damn cage until school is over. School is essential. If there is anything that is swaying you from learning properly, there's a chance that you wont achieve at life. Do you now get that? After HS is over, and it's not longer the parents LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY to tell the kid what to do, then the kid can do whatever the fuck they want. That's how I look at it anyway, and I'm sure alot of other people do too.

Look...overprotective parenting isn't bad unless you REALLY fuck up your kid with your own problems....like you don't want your kid to play in the black kid park in your neighborhood, and though you view it as your parents being overprotective, it's really your mom not wanting you to mingle with "The Coloreds."

Though it differs from person to person, allowing your child to be fucking crazy and fun around and do whatever they want will have worse effects later in life. Little Suzy is 16 and her mommy lets her go out on a date. Suzy becomes a slut and sleeps with 20 guys before she's 18. Little Bobby is 16 and his parents wont let him date until he's 18. Bobby obeys his parents rules, goes off the college when he turns 18 and becomes a slut and sleeps with 20 girls by the time he turns 19. It differs all over.

When you're 30, (or even 25) I promise all the oppression you're feeling from your parents now wont mean SHIT. The only thing you'll be worried about is your rent, your car payments, and your porn collection.


And friends.....friends come and go with the wind.....A friend is just some one that you know, that you USE for company, conversation, or entertainment, and they're USING you for the same thing. It's the balance in the use that keeps the friendship going. You both must feel that you are benefiting from the situation. It doesn't matter who your parents let you hang out with, because in 5 or 10 years the chances of you knowing anyone you know now are VERY slim.

Perhaps I do not know where either of you are coming from. Despite my over protective parents and starting christian school in Pre-K all the way until Freshman year, I never listened to my parents, I do drugs, I party every weekend, and feel absolutely no effects from previous years where my parents controlled everything I did.


It's all in your head.

wow, i feel like i just got home from the ymca.

soul, do you really think before typing. there is a difference in teaching your kids that drugs are bad and keeping them in a cage, not to grow up having some guided experience under the belt to deal with real world situations. the sheer fact you could breed and become a parent is scary. also you are still responsible for your kid up until they are 21 despite not having many legal rights over them after they are 18.

In order to feel that fully, you'd have had to have shit your pants, said a cuss word at least once, and cried at least once for attention.

after the mexican food at lunch i damn near shit my pants, so apparently after this sentence i'll be 2/3 of the way there. i think i'll leave the crying for attention to ducky though.

I think the difference is being overprotective and really caring, and being overprotective and really caring what other people think.

I had the complete oposite of overprotective. My mother (she was it) didn't give a shit about me until it came to what other people thought or something. She always had to have up this nice front, everything always had to look peachy for everyone else. Me, I was a bad kid. I didn't know too much about the world, and was too young to give a shit (I was 11 for 7th grade). I was fucked up, did all the drugs, and all that shit, and my mother ignored it all. Luckily when I was at my lowest point I decided I best change things before I wound up dead. I changed, but no thanks to any 'parent'.

All in all I think it really depends on what the parents truly care about.

As in all things I feel that a balance should be struck between the two extremes.

this is a very good approach to parenting...

It's hard being a parent and anyone who thinks extremes are good, should really watch finding nemo...if you put extreme restrictions on children, they will rebel...my best friend's father told her she could do anything but smoke cigarettes, guess what the first habit she picked up was?

My mom was strict with my sister...at twenty one she had hepatitis b, a damaged liver and...would probably be dead or in jail if she hadn't joined the army...

she had no restriction on me, and i am now a happy and successfully married mother with two beautiful children...

parents should be willing to listen to their children, and understand or at least remember what they went through at their age...i'm personally looking forward to my children being teenagers...then i'll happily relay my experiences to them, and hope they will make the right choices...and i find if you give your children the chance and show you have confidence in their reasoning...they won't let you down...

i've seen the other extreme, parents that do nothing for...rules and order for their children, and they are just as bad as those that are rebelling...the difference is why they rebel...one group wants attention, the other group defies the attention...

a happy medium is always the best, and that depends on the child...we'll always have to have tighter reigns on mia, she's borderline autistic and will never be able to have the reasoning abilities that most normal people have...but children should be given a chance to show they can be grown up, or how will they ever learn to be grown up?

.... that's why I started smoking...

I take it you regret it now?

My mother didnt share many of her experiences with me... she was a worse child then I could imagine being. But she did make me love her, and not want to disappoint her with my actions. Same with my dad (and even my stepdad). I think thats what its really about.