If you could put any message in a fortune cookie, to be massdistributed to everywhere... what would it be?

Heres a few I came up with:

1. You will soon perish from food poisoning... HAHAHA!
2. You will lead a long and boring life...
3. The food you just ate is to be the highlight of the rest of your existance.
4. Someone from the past will soon re-enter your life... and kill you!

Please add more!!!

"soylent green is people"

You cannot maintain an erection

You are very disappointing

It is a woeful fate to be your partner


this of course in the hopes that they are familiar with and playing the "in bed" game

Case:::: Haha... I forgot about the whole in bed thing... I may have to think of a few more..

Don't take that elevator.

When you see a donkey, run.

in all likely hood, that food you just ate was mishandled and was cross contaminated because the cook or prep hand was stoned as a goat this morning.

the broil guy probally dropped that on the floor, screamed "three second rule" picked it up, recheesed it, and sent it to you.

that chicken has been sitting out since last night....

your waitress is telling jokes about your fat ass and pointing....

the fry guy was too busy to wash his hands after he took a piss....

Py:::::: hahaha, good ones...

heres sum more

1. You will get hit by a car if you leave our fine establishment
2. Someone has been following you
3. This fortune cookie will self distruct in 5 seconds...
4. You're holding a piece of your dead mothers skin
5. You'll be sniped!
6. You will spend much time in the bathroom

your next partner will request you dress like a pokemon in bed

from this day forth, your bellybutton fluff will be orange

i wanked on this piece of paper

A) Today is a good day to fall asleep.
Today is a good day to get sick.
C) Today is a good day to die.

1. keep eating these and your ass will double in size

2. if while eating these cookies you should come across numerous black specs.. ignore them. they are not insect legs. but rather grated liquorice

3. your penis is mad at you... he just told me that you're a fat ugly prick.. cut him off.... CUT HIM OFF!

4. those two melon like bumps are not breasts.. they're two huge tumors waiting to explode and then tiny larvae like creatures will escape

5. your child is satan reincarnated.. kill it

"you will soon be abducted and probed by aliens."

"Your next partner will be the kind to bite, or slug you in the privates if you fart while she/he is going down on you."

"You will not survive the New World Order."

"George W. Bush is going to personally sodomize you."

No Comment

Your child will kill you one day.
Do not read this under pain of death.
Wise man tell me your daughter good in bed.
You have just eaten your last pet.
Our valet parking is mainly used to install car bombs.
Blood test on partner shows long lost relitive.
Choke on it.

These in this thread are so funny, here I got some...



That was our last employee

The dog is even better

OH NO GODZILLA

I was a guy the last I looked...eat the eggroll

A young man will enter your life, as your levaing your's behind

Honest people don't sell food, thats why everything on the menu is a lie

Our poo poo plater is made with real poo poo

Close your eyes, take a deep breath young one...grandma just farted




Ok thats all for now from me!

Hahahaha.... Glad I started this thread.... so lets see the best ones... (in no particular order)...

Hahahaha.... A special kudos to RedMeat, Skinless barbie and Solace... these made me laugh most of all...

If you're not horribly bored of this thread yet, feel free to list your top 5 pix... or add more...

Best laugh i've had in ages..... goddamn...

i have certainly come to the conclusion that the threads in this place and the discussion have both decreased in quality.