the only reason why i have been led to think such a thing is that i had to repeat something several times for you to even acknowledge it. i was frustrated because it seemed as if we were running loops on one particular thing...

blessed be,

skarllette

well since you were in fact reading all of my posts with great insight, then you needn't worry about that remark, huh?

no, it doesn't give me any satisfaction whatsoever to demean others or see others being belittled in any way. your opinions are fine, i didn't insult them. out of complete frustation that i had originally infered by your responses that you either didn't read them in full detail or just didn't give a shit. either way, i would've been horribly offended, and yes, that section would have bearing. but it's not legitament being this is not the case, now is it?

blessed be,

skarllette

(btw: i have seen that your words seem less scornful and that makes a debate better... less shaped like a malicious arguement. those are never too fun... so in all due respect, i appreciate this.)

you are certainly confusing. at a moment you say never. never still means 'not ever' and is the antonym to forever (or always), correct? but now it's sometimes? you make my head spin! i know the getting rid of it is key and however you can do so without hurting another or yourself is very important. i do the same. if i'm feeling down, i'll write, sing, type, talk, sketch, or do some kind of craft. the same as you, i feel emotions in full swing; always have and always will regardless of how many times i've been reprimanded for being too 'dramatic' or 'giddy'. but since i love so deeply, it's often difficult to acknowledge what i hate so fiercely. people either love me or hate me... that's just the way it's been.

however, you never answered my question. if you think everything is just marvellous and intriguing, then how come depression within people makes you ill? shouldn't it make you wonder... how did they come to be this way? what makes a person want to go so low? why can't they pick themselves up? i am interested in many things myself... tho i haven't the ability to stay on one topic too long. it's not that i have a short attention span, it's that soooooooooooooo many things present themselves to me, and sometimes they aren't even things of interest... just things i must do in order to live my life.

i found the best thing to kill my depression, that dark feeling eating away at me inside for no particular reason is to make someone else happy. "you can't spread sunshine without getting a little on yourself." i recall that on a poster somewhere (and i think it was a care bear because i can still remember that it was very cute...).

blessed be,

skarllette

i apologize for misleading you. what i meant by that was your whole idea on perception: if you think it, you will feel it (just to paraphrase). that itself sounds like denial... delusions... and that is what the fantasy is.

your happiness isn't a fantasy. although i can't personally see it, it can very well reside in you. my depression is a disease, it's in the background... i do not feel it ALL the time. i am content, as i told you before. although there are occasions were i am less than content due to other problems that i have (that haven't anything to do with my depression). my depression is something i live with, a burden almost... only when i think too much on it.

any person here would agree that they wouldn't accept a person telling them that denying everything they feel will make them a better person (as a blunt way of putting it, so don't take that word for word). sometimes emotions brought on by something beyond you can't be controlled. think of getting horribly sick... and you're in immense amounts of pain.... and you can't for the life of you figure out what in the hell ails you... wouldn't you get scared that it could be something terrible? i do. i love my life and everything within it so much that death disturbs me... i tremble at the very idea of it... and any threat that could come to take this passion away from me shocks me like a deer in headlights. and other tragic things, such as grief at the sudden, unexpected loss of a loved one. you can't help those. in time you can leap them... but for awhile, that remains whether it dominates your life or not.

i have in fact posted. i've made 230+ at this particular moment... maybe it's just the right time for our worlds to collide? did you ever really stop to think that everything happens for a reason? (i'm not saying this in a snide tone. it is an honest question.)

blessed be,

skarllette

BAH! heheheh... sorry... you are definately a person who makes me think. thanx a bunch for that... umm... i'm sorry my brain is fried right now... i kinda spent all of my adrenalin on advocating the views and perception of a person with depression. it's not just myself either... especially not myself that i am doing this for... i thought i would state that. it's honestly for driwicked... who was very upset being told that. she wasn't angry; she was very saddened and disappointed that it seemed like the light at the end of the tunnel faded away... eh... i'm not very well spoken tonight... i apologize... i'm beat. heh, that's what i get for being sick, scared, and running around all day... (with my fiance's family... I GOT TO SEE MY NIECE!) sorry... lol... like any of you really care... nm... just thought i would say that...

sorry... brain leaking out of ear...

blessed be,

skarllette

motherfucker, My HEAD!!!

ugh...

I hurt too much to even bitch ...later

What happens when life leaves you no other options. When you look around and you see your family abusive, your true friends gone (most dead), your body falling apart, and then having to deal with assholes like dyshade. I am not depressed by choice, and I am not depressed as a result of a chemical imbalance (well, sorta yeah) but mostly of life filled with disappointment I'm sorry if we piss you off, but if you dont like depressed people, stay away from threads like this.

Your Dark Princess

-Dri-

Okies... lets see.... there are always options.... you may not be able to see them clearly yet there are always options.... most if not all families are abusive in one sense of the word or another.... sometimes to a lesser degree yet it happens a lot.... friends go away and some die... this is life.... life is not easy... it is hard.... out of all of my friends from my earlier part of my life i have three left..... all the others are dead.... gone forever.... yet I remain to keep thier memory alive..... i figure rather than be sad that they are gone i should remember them because in that way they still remain..... most all of them died of AIDS..... back in the uneducated eighties when noone knew what the fuck it was and felt invulnerable...... some died from overdoses.... and a few killed themselves.....
and yeah.... i am an asshole.... think of the worst thing that could happen to you.... take your time..... now imagine it happening to you..... ok now realize that no matter how bad that seems there is always something worse..... always..... with death being the punchline......

Chemical imbalances can be dealt with..... as can much else....
If you think i am an asshole.... you better be prepared for the real assholes out there... because there are people who are far more callous than I.....

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ooh ooh ooh , can I bitch ? I have just let some people in on the biggest darkest secret in my life and its probably gonna go round school for the next couple of weeks, I have to wait until August 30th to see wat is up with my knee or for them to tell me what I already know, I have absolutely nobody to trust because I know that they will turn round and throw it back in my face, I'm on steroids and antibiotics because my chest is that bad and I'm just having a shit time all round.

Yes.... confusion is my normal state of mind..... it keeps me fueled....

Why??? Well i watched a good friend of mine die of AIDS.... he kept his good nature until the very day he died..... he had his bad days when he was very sick and yet he always had a smile for everyone and accepted his condition...... he signed a paper in his last few days in the hospital that said he did not want them to try and keep him alive.... he just wanted to go when his time came... and he did.... so it is very hard for me to have sympathy for a healthy person who feels that life sucks.....

God he sounds like a really brave person Dyshade. I know that if I was in his position I wouldnt be able to stop feeling sorry for myself because I can't say that I'm a strong person !

He was.... you can read his story.... that is what I do to keep his memory alive... tell everyone to read his Moms book....
Luellen Reese is her name.... you can order the book online.... if you do a search for her name you will find it....

We are all strong people..... it is finding that strength and utilizing it that is the hard part.....

I hope the book sales go well. I don't know anyone eith AID's I don't think. I have known a few people who have had cancer and who have it at the moment, even though the two are not the same they still create the same sort of suffering for the family and friends. I loved my auntie ( she was actually my great auntie but I just like to call her my auntie because we loved each other so much even though I was only young ), she was so proud of herself. She didn't want to swallow her pride though but one day she showed my mom, she had cancerous lumps all over her body, by the time that she had shown someone and gone to a doctor it was too late to treat her. The cancer had taken over her and was attacking her vital organs and it was to late to treat anything. Even though shes not here with us now I wish she was. I know that she is still there for me in spirit and that she looks over me and protects me.

Just remember that as long as you are alive she is also..... yes cancer is a very bad disease..... I have a friend who is suffering from terminal cancer..... he has a few years left without treatment and perhaps a few years more with treatment...... he is doing very well beside that fact..... i hope that you go your whole life without knowing anyone with AIDS... it is a very dreadful disease.....

ODD hehehe not really I got ignored again, lol eventhough I do hold a psychology degree, hehehe people seem to enjoy senseless arguing, how lovely