I apologise if this has been done before, (I checked a bit, but not properly) but I would like to devote little thread to the stupid things we all do.

For example, two mornings ago, I keyed my own car.
I was leaving work after a nightshift, I was about to unlock my car door when someone called out to me, and I swung round, and somehow managed to gouge a big, deep scratch almost the length of the door.

I also once burnt down my shed nailing a Catherine Wheel to it. I know it says to nail it something, but maybe if I'd used an old pallet or a fence post, I wouldn't have melted my bike and the Christmas tree.
Who'd have known fireworks could be so flammable?

Well, I've never done anything that stupid, but I crapped my pants in the first grade.

This is actaully a great idea and I'm surprised but I really don't think that anyone else has thought of it.
Hmm . . . When I was younger I took an eletrical cord that had been part of a broken pencil sharpener, it had the plug and I stuck that in an outlet in my room and touched the live ends to a nail on the floor just to see what would happen . . . There was a flash and an incredibly loud pop, a piece of wire flash-welded itself to the nail, the lights at that of the house turned off and my mother called: "What was that?" Right on cue. It also blew a fuse.

hahahahaha that just seems about right for you, not in a bad way but just a funny way

I can't think of any real bad stupid moments (my life is just one long one...) but I do remember some cringe worthy ones...

The one that always makes me chuckle is the time when I was working as Phsy Ed. Assistant in a local school.

I was taking group of about 30 boys for a Rugby coaching session and as usual I had the group to teach by myself. The children where between the age of 11-12 and where the remedial kids and usually very ill behaved and quite rowdy. So after many askings for them to be better behaved and stop fooling around I'd had enough.

I got the kids around in a semi circle and stood about 10 feet from then and threatened that the next kid to step out of line was for it. I took a rugby ball and told them that if they messed about while I gave them instructions I was gonna drop-kick the ball at which ever kid misbehaved. The started sniggering and daring me to just like kids do, so being the great drop-kicker (or so I thought) I decided to give them a scare and drop-kick the ball hard and fast just over their little heads to shut them up.... ooops....

A rugby ball is not known for it's perfect bounce and unrfortunately the ground was not that great and the ball kinda mis-bounced but I did still manage to conect with the ball full force and drive it into the face of this little kid just a few feet away....

I almost shit myself as this kid was knocked flying backwards onto his ass and with blood pouring from his nose.

All the kids shut up.

I decided to bluff it and said 'Now who wants another turn'. Fortunately it worked and the kids where quiet for the rest of the lesson, surprisingly the kid who I hit said sorry and never reported me, and from then on the kids where never a problem.

It puzzled me when they never just reported me and got me sacked until I saw that this was mild to what the other PE teachers actually did to the kids on purpose!!!

I climbed up the stairs, only I climbed on the bit the wrong side of the banister, fell off, knocked myself out and nearly died.

I let my friend cut my hair short. I cut her's too though.

Oh Jobe, I loved that.
It reminded me of the time my PE teacher made me stand on a chair for the enitre lesson with my arms outstretched, just because I forgot my kit, again.
Highly illegal.

God Nivvie I have loads of old stories from when I worked in the school and as an Outward Bounds instructor, kids are fecking funny...

Sometimes I swear that if I could go back in time I'd beat the shit out of myself.

In a way, you and your hand-endangering wood work inspired me. That and the freakin' car door.

Once all the lights went out in our house, and it tuned out my brother had tried to make a plug from scratch. Innovative, but daft for a ten year old.
He was blown across the room.
He also once brought home a stray cat, NOT the thing to do in Cairo. It had to be one of the few without rabies. Damn lucky.

Inspired you? How?

I've always wanted to start idiots annoymous

Hiya my name is Andrew and I'm an idiot.... to rapturous applause and people saying keep comming man...this is thae hardest step. Unfortunately idiots annoymous would have all the people unable to get into the room.

I managed to cause the secondry master storage tape at my old firm to burst into flames. I'd installed it correctly, but simply by giving it the wrong instruction it went mental and burst into flames.

Neon

Neon

The photos of your scarred hands.

I would love it if anyone else has photos of their dumb injuries.
My friend is an A&E nurse (Emergency Room), and you wouldn't believe the crap people shove up and in their orifices, eat, fall into, and not in a Jackass way, just more of an ass.
Everyone crowds round to see the X-Ray of a guy with a vacuum cleaner attachment shoved up his butt.

I am in no way suggesting you are this dumb Iron, I'm sure it was more accidental in your case.

Er.... Okay well I should start a list...

I was smoking a cigarette and styling my hair, I put the cigarette in my mouth and started spaying hairspray and my hair set on fire, I picked up my bathrobe and put out my hiar with it, threw the bath robe on the floor and stood in front of the mirror checking my hair. My hair was singed but I also smelt something burning, I turned around to see that my carpet was on fire where I threw my bath robe... Petty dumb huh...

I got drunk and lost my house keys once... I walked home but I was so trashed, I tried to open my door with a pencil that I pulled out of my pocket.... I was there for an hour before I realized that it was pencil....

I was in my room painting my nails naked... (This is so very stupid) I fucked up one of my nails so I picked up the nail polish remover but lost my grip and spilt it on myself... With me being naked, some of it spilt onto my.... Private parts... It was very painful... I never paint my nails when Im naked now...

I refilled my zippo and lit it straight after... I didn't realize I got some of the fluid onto my hands... Set my hands on fire...

I went to to the mall in Gateshead (the metro centre) and was eating at a fast food restraunt with my friend and cousin... I was waiting in line to be served wearing a low cut top. When I got to the counter, I leaned over and my breast fell out...

I had a hangover and was up all night talking to my friend Maggie and Todd, Todd wanted to go out for breakfast so Todd took his truck and Maggie and I took her car.... was pretty sketched out and so was Maggie but we ate beakfast and left the restraunt... I forgot to pick something up for Sebastian so I ran back in to get him something. When I came back out I started to walk to the car but slipped on some ice and ended up wearing the take out food I bought...

Im going to stop there.... Heh

Bras are your friend! Damn... that was one hell of a funny list.



Hmm... as for me. I guess I've really got nothing all that funny. I tend to forget the physical comedy stuff and center more on the deep emotionally scarring issues...

All of that was emotionally scarring for me... I don't remember much else but Im sure that if Peter were to post a list for me, there would be more... Heh

lol I can so picture that...


...cos I go to that mall often

No, I can believe it, easily. At least I can honestly claim that the wide majority of injuries I have suffered were due to bad luck rather then a lack of common sense. Like the time I was hacking at a tree-branch outside with a machette and I struck through the branch and split my pinkie-toe in half right through the sneakers I was wearing.
Hell I might as well list the major ones here seeing as I don't think I ever have before.
Once when I was about between 8 or 10 years old I sat in the back of the bus with some of the older kids. A friend of my brothers picked me up and playfully dropped me in a seat towards the front of the bus. As he dropped me however my head just barely glanced against the edge of the bus window sill. This friend of my brothers was actually a pretty good guy for someone who had to be about 13, he even took a quick look at my forehead before he walked back to his seat. All seemed well until I felt something tickling my face an instant later. Then I literally saw red as blood ran in front of my eyes. That took four stitches. I've still got a small scar from it. What's odd is that soon after, I would get to see this same kid slice his face open with a chain-saw.
I guess the next most serious would be when I dropped a kinfe into my calve and hit a vein (Woodcarving again). I didn't think anything of it at first because it was so small but the cuff of my jeans darkened with terrifying speed . . .

I fell off a wall and onto on a broken bottle when I was three, and severed my thumb. It's my best injury and scar. They stuck it back on, but I only have limited movement. It was a genuine accident, in fact, my brother was supposed ot be making sure I didn't toddle out of the garden, so he was in fact the idiot. In spite of this, and many other stupid injuries later, the thing that stings my conscience most is when I was tired and put diesel in the car. A whole freakin' tank full.
Also, with regards to stinging, I have a slightly similar story to Neena's which I wasn't going to share, but will now seeing as she was so brave.
My brother had been in my room and nicked some nail polish remover for paint removal purposes. I had then snatched it from him and thrown the bottle on my bed, without the lid secured properly. I then later, in a naked state, sat on said bed. I just thought it was wet, and jumped up, and as I was wondering what happened to the bed, the burning began. I tried serious rinsing but it still hurt like hell.
I didn't tell anyone, as no doubt my mum would have dragged me off to the doctors for an examination, and as an eleven year old, that was NOT going happen.