I'm curious.

When I was a teenager, cutting was the exception rather than the rule. I don't think I knew anyone who was a cutter when I was at school, or at uni (first time around).

Just how many kids (teenagers) actually do cut themselves on a regular basis these day? And why? Does anyone want to talk about it?

I`ve cut myself very slightly once with a razor and have thought about doing it again. The cut was so small I dont think it really counts so i just voted that I think about it.

I was heavily into self mutilation... (sorta mild... I'm not scarred from it) all the way from Grade 7... through to... 1 year ago... So, around 9 years.

Xxx-SIN-xxX

Ok, both of you ... why did you do it?

Cutting yourself would seem, to me, to be a pretty serious step. What made you start? What made you stop? And, more importantly, how did you feel at the time?

Feel free not to answer.

At the cutting time I didnt feel much of anything, just a dull void and I yearned to feel anything at all. Pain is a good option its easy to create and can be more powerful and lasting then any kind of escapism I have tried.

The main time that I wanted to cut myself was when my I broke up with my online ex g/f. I felt lonely and unwanted but I didnt really feel hurt at all just empty and I wanted to fill myself with the pain of the cut but I didnt, I just drank instead.

Thanks for sharing. You're helping me to build a picture of what it's like.

I don't think the 'not feeling anything' syndrome is unique to the youth of today, but some how it seems to be more wide spread or accepted or whatever.

When I was young, I felt nothing occasionally, but it didn't last long enough to trigger me to want to do anything about it. There were always new things, new challenges, new ideas coming my way to take over, pull me out of it, give me something else to concentrate on.

What's different these days? Is it the people, the attitudes, the situations?

Valid question...

can't promise a coherent answer, because now I hafta try to think about it... LoL Hmm... Why did I do it?

~thinks... grinding gears can be heard and sparks fly forth... a high pitched whistle begins that slowly dies down as smoke starts rolling outta her ears~

(j/k)

I would do it mainly when I was really really stressed out. It was a release for me of some weird warped way. Also, when I was younger and in grade school, I got teased for pretty well anything and everything, my hair, the way I walked the way I talked the way I dressed, what I ate, what I looked like, my personality... just for being "me"...

Because I can't remember sitting up in bed one morning and thinking to myself, "Ooh I'm gonna cut myself" I would probably say that it was an unconcious decision, and I would also say that some part of me felt unhappy with the way I was, because nobody else seemed to like it, so maybe I figured that by partaking in such actions, I too would be expressing a hatred of self, thus leading me to maybe have one small thing in common, with all the rest of my peers.

But yeah, I'm over that now and have learned how to say "Fuck you!" and mean it!

Xxx-SIN-xxX

Good on you!

I can understand how you felt. I was seriously on the outer when I was in high school - overweight, intelligent, etc, etc. I think I had one real friend in a school of 500 girls. If the thought of cutting had occured to me back then, even I might have tried it, and probably for the same reason as you.

Instead, I turned tough, beat up the bullies, and they left me alone for the last two years. I still had few friends, but at least I had some peace :)

I've never really hated myself, only the way I looked. (I see the two things as different things). So, attacking my outer self would have only made the problem worse, which is probably why the idea never even occured to me.

Thanks for answering.

Heh I only turned tough after I was put on proxac which i later overdosed on.The builling, low self esteem and other issues lead to that.

I did it every day for two to three years, but I've been cut-free for about a year and a half now. I tell people I got the scars in the war. Those wrist-cutting Iraqi bastards....

you know how sometimes when you have a really bad headache and you press the sides of your head? it doesnt make the pain go away, it just rationalizes it: the pressure you create justifies the headache. same with cutting. you feel like shit so you hurt yourself to justify the pain. so what if its backwards? anyway, if you ever cut yourself in the shower the blood swirls and looks really pretty.

i was a cutter for several years(and have some pretty nasty scars on my left forearm to show for it, i haven't done it in a long time, but i still think about doing. it's like smoking(witch i also do, shame on me) it's just a way for me to attempt to deal with situations and problems i can't deal with by distracting me from them. I also think that alll cutters, not just me. use cutting as a way of subconsciously crying out for help, it's our way of letting the world know we have a problem without actually coming out and saying it, it's us hinting that we need freindship, love, or a little fucking compassion in our lives.

most of them are teens, a few are college age...

i have yet to find one out in the real world...

this kindof escapism disturbs me... even when im at my worst i feel something. i see to many doing it for attention... too many doing it cause its a "goth thing to do" (their words not mine)...

argh!

i had a friend who said she cut. and she told her online boyfriend and she told me but i didnt believe her she had no marks..she lied for attention...what a scam

me...

I do it.

Somewhere, in the midst of filth and pain there is a me, she lovely singing so sweet. Crimson, as it is, blood pouring words. To discover her....

No, self-mutilation has never been my game. The only person I knew growing up that did on a regular basis was my friend Dominic.

Dom was a middle child of a fairly large family on a tight budget. He was a good guy, a little left of center (but then most of my friends are). He was (eventually) diagnosed as manic-depressive sometime in high school. Dominic was an avid collector of knives, and when he was depressed he would use his favorites to cut with. He kept them well, so it was just like using a razor. He said that the pain helped him focus on his thoughts and allow him to force down the depression. One time we took away his knives, so he carved his initials into his chest with his comb. (It just raised welts on his chest, didn't actually break the skin) By the time he was 22 I don't think he was still doing it. If he was, he was damn good at hiding it from the rest of us. Thats about all I feel comfortable saying about the matter. This was my personal encounter with cutting.

Shadowborn

I appreciate the frank answers, and the one-liners :)

I'm curious because, as a writer, the truth is always better than fiction and the best way to do research is to ask those who know.

It's always nice to know you've made the right assumptions when creating a character :)

Interestingly, though, I wonder why I (an avid collector of knives who had a very mixed childhood constantly torn between two parents and was 'the weird kid' at school) never discovered the concept?