I haven't got laid in like, ever. So naturally I'm suicidal. But I wanna slit my penis cuz it's brought me nothin' but cum on my abdominal area. Plus I got no make-up left, and my parents didn't buy me a PS3 :|

My mom is such a cow, I deserve a PS3. I told her that if she didn't buy me a PS3 I'd kill myself. HOW COULD SHE BE SO CRUEL TO ME!? I WANT A FUCKING PS3! GRRRRRRRRRR!

Kill yourself for wanting a PS3

fack you and fack your PS3, be a real man and get a SNES you lil bitch

Look I'm really into suicide and I hate life too it's retarded most of the time. But why does not getting laid make you want to kill yourself, I could think of a hundred reasons why I want to commit suicide but not getting laid, I mean, if it were for something a little more meaningful i'd help you kill yourself. So like your sitting there and your horny and you can't get laid, so that makes you want to end your life, you think you'll be getting laid after they bury you in the ground, wait till you spend every one of your waking moments trying to help someone that's having a bad time at life and they rip you off and stab you in the back, treat you like a piece of shit when all you did for them was try to help. Wait till you get hit by a Toyota Camry when your walking down the street because some stupid bitch wants to drive around all fast and not look where she's going and then wait till you go to court and she gets off and they charge you with obstructing traffic. Wait till your motherfucking teeth rot out and they hurt nonstop because they're just little, black pieces of teeth, rendering you unable to eat solid food, and then wait till you make a date with the oral surgeon and you get a motherfucking notice in the mail saying they cancelled your medicaid, and then wait till you reapply and get rejected for no reason whatsoever, the system is just so fucked that your fucked and they've left you there to die of mouth cancer cause motherfucking dental care is jacked up as high as the motherfucking Allman brothers. Wait till you have to sit alone in a house that you have to pay for, with not a damn friend anywhere, not even one to call or write, wait till you have nobody, and your living off of cheapo ramens you cook in your microwave because you got no motherfucking stove. Wait till you come home from a hard day's work to a sign on your front door with EVICTION NOTICE written on it in black marker and all your shit is scattered across the sidewalk. Wait till you wake up one day and you realize you're a 22 year old schizophrenic male with no money, no job, no friends, everybody you care about is either a piece of shit or thinks you're a piece of shit, no real plans for the future and no means to achieve them even if you did, and wait till you realize that life isn't all about sex, drugs, and rock and roll, wait till you realize it's about about running for your life, fighting just to stay alive, when you're not just a little suicidal, wait till you can taste it on your tongue, wait till choking on food makes you smile inside, wait till you embrace death itself and fantasize about it in you dreams at night. Wait till you sit, smiling, imagining your own death and that's the highlight of your day.

i have a ps3. feel free to top yourself with jealousy.

If you're really serious though I suggest you make a deep incision with a straight razor at the base of the penis, where there are less nerve endings. First mark the incision points with a black, permanent marker and make sure you've peed; then hold a few ice cubes on that spot, switching for new cold ones every few minutes, for about 15 minutes or until the area is completely numb, then cut a slice about halfway through the penis. Now you should be bleeding out pretty nice, make sure you have some porno on, that will make the blood rush to your genital area, making it easier to bleed all the way out. If you want, take a viagra tablet a couple hours before the self-termination, that will almost ensure your success.

I love my SNES more then air.

...why do you know that!?!

Firstly, I would like to point and laugh at you. Secondly, Why not just inject turpintine into the head of your penis then PM me to tell me what happened?

Lastly, I would like to point and laugh at you.

I've done alot of euthanasia research. The thought of sweet suicide drives me to read, overpopulation drives me to relay this information.

well, the first thing i'd like to say is -

NYAAAHAHAHAHAH HA HA HA HA HA HAHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAAAA!!HAHA!!!HA!!!!!!1!
HA! HAHA! HAHAHAAAAAHHHHAHA HAAAHAHHAAHHHH HAHAHAA!!!! HAHAHAH!!!!!!!!11!!!1!!!HA!!!11!!!one!!!1!!!!HAHAAHAHAHA

etc.

then i'd like to thank you for this brilliant post.

oh, and hope you share more of your wonderful life with us.

ttfn!

This guy is funny as fuck. He doesn't win the prize, though. especially for billy.

If I'm going to get punished for shameless self-promotion, though, I'd prefer the spanking to follow the licking and biting not the other way round. If you don't mind.

do i have to bring my own whip?

No I have a five foot long one of my own. Feel free to use.

brilliant. what about the purple hair dye?

special stuff of course... for rather.....course hair....

Dude it's been ages since I dyed my pubes bright purple. I only use henna now.

i remember the thread, i don't remember the pictures.

it's been ages since i used henna. been ages since i used any dye.

LOL. I never got round to posting the pictures. As much as Sire begged. hehe

Funnily enough, me too. I had my (head) hair dyed dark red for years but am now back to blonde. Just can't be arsed to do anything with it.

I'm off to bed so I will see you boys tomorrow.

G'night x