i just found out that a girl i dated last year is now dating one of my friends. i've always been under the assumption that ex-girlfriends and sisters were off limits, i could be wrong, but that's why i'm asking.


here's the pertinent info:

-we dated seriously for almost seven months.
-we broke up last february.
-i've known her for over five years.
-i've known him for about 3 or 4 years.

yes it's cool, or no it's not?

rules are meant to be broken in this world. every single one of em' and when it stinks of "not fair" to us...there's always some jerk off that comes along and says "suck it up, that's life"...

i wouldn't like it, and i'm not high on jealousy, but i still would feel things akin to 'possession' even if...as they say "when it's over, it's over"...

then again, i've sorta been in a similar situation where i ended up dating this girl (who is my ex now) that was previously dating this guy i knew and him and i weren't friends-friends, but we knew each other and were friendly enough that even that was an awkward situation.....

i guess it sorta depends on the conscience of each person involved...but... it's not like you're going to exact some petty vengeance on either of them. i guess your best bet is to give them the staring of a lifetime and know that life fucking sucks and gah. fuck. i feel for you...

wow. sorry for the pointless post.

i guess i can't answer if it's 'cool' or not... a lot of times, things happen the way no one intends for things to happen. although, i'm sure someone around here will encourage you to go break some legs.

i personally don't think that it is a good idea it tends to get complicated. but if your okay with it and their aren't any weird residual feelings then go for it. but from personal experience its just not a good i dead

learn to spell or correct your typos.

i don't think i'd sit there and mad dog them at the next party we have or go break his legs. it's not like i've got any feelings for the girl still, in fact i've got a girl that's 10x better now, it's just... i dunno... seems weird. like why would one of my friends want her after i tossed her back?

Why are you asking if it's cool or not in the first place?
Is there some unwritten rule book that socially inept nerds like myself are unaware of?
Obviously what really matters is if you are really over your relationship with her.

apparently. it falls under the chapter 'bros before hoes.' i've always had the standard that if one of your friends dates a chick, then that's it, she's done. you don't go after her and try to fuck her. after all, you and your friends are still going to hang out, why would you want some chick that you have issues with hanging out too?

the same thing goes for sisters. they're off limits because what guy on earth wants to see his buddy sucking face with his sister?

the answer is usually easier to dissect with males..here's a few:

a. she's hot
b. he's horny and saw a chance at some action
c. he's liked her for a while and was waiting for a chance and seeing as you have a much better girl, it shouldn't matter in his eyes
d. i guess the conception you brought up isn't in his thoughtstream (is he dense?)
e. all of the above

in terms of the weirdness thing.....i can sorta answer that one. With my ex, she was best friends with this guy for close to a decade. They tried being a couple and it just didn't work. With me, however, I came into the picture for only a few months and her and I clicked, but that was almost right when she was in the process of breaking up with this guy, whom, I've casually known for a while...... so....it was weird, but she and him, I guess...tried to be mature about the whole thing. It was only awkward for me, because I tend to have this really bad habit of having too much of a conscience or feel into stuff too much which limits me incessently....anyhow, it was weird, but the feelings between them sorta numbed themselves out and this was also due to them avoiding each other.....

but, as i saw you just mentioned "bros before hoes"....turned on a light in my head too.... yeah, totally in agreement there.

i think i might be with one of my friend's ex's......it just started tonight....we spent over an hour in this little corner where he slept last night, just holding eachother. yeah, we messed around a little...i found his "ticklish" spot, and he found mine. but mostly we just held each other and talked about everything in general. he kept hiding his face from me in my boobies....and i kept russling his hair and beard. then, when we started to go our different ways, he kissed me. it was soft, and imploring, and full of question......is this ok? is this what you want? is this what i want? ....but he's my girlfriend's ex bf....and one of my dearest friends....

anyone got any advise for me, cuz i'm lost in limbo....

it could be all of these. i always assumed that my 'no ex, no sister' rule was universal, which is why i posted this. i wanted to see if other guys had the same dating rules. obviously denalay hasn't heard of doing that and you've done it as well, so it could just be me.

personally, i wouldn't even start with that one. a few years ago i was at a party and my good friends ex-girl and i were hanging out. she started dancing in front of me, which turned into a lap dance and i had to tell her to quit. if it was any other chick at the party it would've been cool, but since it was her... i said late.

I think it would depend on how your relationship with her ended.
If there is no animosity between the two of you she wouldn't have any reason to try and fuck up your friendship or make for an awkward situation when you guys hang out together, right?
Although I'll admit to not being in that situation so I'm not sure how I'd feel. I think it would only really bother me if I still had issues with the girl.

him and i weren't friends, we just knew each other. like some guy at school, but friendly, none-the-less. the bond was between my ex and him. the phrase is pretty well known, and in terms of my situation, it was a case of My relationship with my ex being very serious while her relationship with him being "a mistake"...

but, i'll state again, i'm in complete agreement of the phrase and i could add that i just don't like the idea of nailing some girl when i'm also interacting with a previous boyfriend of hers either...kinda gross to me.

i'm done. *waits for other opinions*

we left on pretty good terms. it by far wasn't a knock down, drag out kinda break up, but of course there were still all the reasons that i broke up with her. she's a fucking nut case, and i told all of my friends that when we split. that's why i don't understand why he would bother actually dating her. now that i think about it, it would probably be even less of an issue if they just got drunk and fucked each other one night, but from what i've heard they're trying to make a serious run out of it.

exactly. that's what seems wrong to me. she's a cute chick, she could've gone out and brought back one of a billion guys that i'm not friends with and i wouldn't even have blinked twice about it, but she picks a friend of mine.

what sense does that make?

On the other hand though there really isn't any way you can convince your friend not to date her if she already has her hooks in him. If you did you'd just end up pushing him away so you'll probably just have to suck it up for now.

oh.. the plot thickens.

Nut case. There's your answer. It's not your buddies' fault. He's just playing the Fool. Happens to the best of us...Butm if he comes crying to any of your friends or You most of all, after your warning.... that's worthy of...