i am a terrible cook, and this is true to such an extent that i cannot even brew my own espresso. however, i feel that this state of affairs must come to a sudden change on account of my mother.

my mother has recently gotten into some kind of "sea salt" quackery, which has convinced her that pure, unrefined seasalt contains the cure for all diseases. she even maintains that during the middle ages there was a salt shortage and that is why people died of the plague. not only that little tibbit, but they also took to killing each other and drink the blood of their victims to get at this precious salt. the government knows this, and people in high places are keeping the secret of salt locked away from the common rabble to protect the medical establishment.

anyway, when she brews my espresso drink each morning, which is too complicated to recant here, she has been adding salt to it because she thinks it will cure "my depression" or whatever that bimbo thinks is wrong with me. regardless of how often i tell her to make my coffee the right way, she insists on salting it. this is a serious matter, as i depend on my coffee to get my scholarship and poetry accomplished and i can't go about drinking half of my coffee because it's salty.

so, what i'd like to ask is, are there any baristas in here who know how to make good espresso drinks? i will thank you in advance for your lifesaving answers.

I own and operate a coffe shop. Yes I know how to make very good espresso drinks. I make a living with my recipes though

I would suggest doing away with the seasalt as salt does not taste good in ANY espresso drink.

IF she absolutely must salt it though I would suggest getting a blender and making yourself a frozen latte using frozen yogurt and espresso. The ice creams sweetness will cover up the saltyness. OR you could make a very strong mocha. that might do it.

That sounds revolting. Can't she just add salt to savoury things and leave sweet things the hell alone?

oh that's not the half of it. she makes me drink salt water because she thinks it cancels out the chlorine in the tapwater. she puts salt in abagail's food to save money on having her wormed. my dad doesn't get much salt because he's not around much anyway, which i don't particularly blame him for.

buy some white powdered drug of your choice and add it to the seasalt she keeps in a jar or wherever.

that'll make your drink taste better.

Stop drinking espresso on a daily basis. Problem solved.

i never drink tea or coffee. never will.

my problem solved before it occurred!