Last night around 12:30 I was listening to Malmsteen and practicing my calligraphy by candlelight when the phone rang. I reasoned it was probably some kind of Nutralife emergency best handled by my mother, so I let her answer it. (my father, for reasons I still will not go in to, would not pick up the phone)

I think she held the receiver for about 3 minutes, hung up, went downstairs, and started crying uncontrollably. There was no way I was about to ask what it was, and I shut my bedroom door to prevent Abagail from going down.

This morning I walked in to a heated discussion between her and my father. I was almost convinced it had something to do with me until the real truth came out.
"Tim, we need to tell you something about that phone call last night."
"What would that be?" I said cautiously
""We got a call from a registered sex offender to let us know that he was living in the neighborhood."
"What! Where?"
"At 115 Bluebird. He has had carnal knowledge of a child under 13, but said he was rehabilitated."
"Well Thomas Mann and Vladmir Nabakov have dealt with this subject, it's really not as bad as you think."
"We're just telling you to call the police if you see him doing anything, I don't want our downline knowing about, about that."
"Why would he call at 12:30?"
"Your father has a theory about that. He thinks that he called that late thinking people wouldn't answer the phone, but we're on to him!"

I was slightly amused if anything. I am well over 13, and if this man wants to have carnal knowledge again then that's his business. Later this afternoon, we had to go to the emerald palace Wal-Mart, which is so called because it has a homey green color scheme to blend in with the orchard it replaced. In doing, we had to drive past 115 Bluebird, which turns out to be the trashiest house on the block with no Christmas decorations, no landscaping and missing pieces of siding.

My mother has been gossiping on the phone nonstop about this to her friends (none of whom live in this neighborhood I might add), and I doubt I will ever hear the end of this.

Yngwie? Rawk. \m/

I was listening to Malmsteen and practicing my calligraphy by candlelight
really? really though?

And the plot thickens! Youngwether bravely fights off the registered sex offender, narrowly escapeing being raped, and saves a 13 year old girl along the way!

In prison they call those guys 'totally fucked'

Wait, is she older than him or younger? I kinda missed that..

I don't know who/where/what gender he had carnal knowledge of, and I didn't even know that this man had moved into the neighborhood recently.

The Trex plant is across the street, and they have these grinding machines and forklifts running all day and night, so no one pays much attention to what's going on outside.

I believe that Harlotte is 16, one year younger than I am and therefore easily impressionable by me.

I'm making youngwerther an honorary nigga.


SO GET DOWN, MY NIGGA. WELCOME TO DA HOOD.

Sex offenders living in a house, in some city, in the united states. How uncommon is that?

And the plot thickens !
Shall Youngwerther save his Harlot from the sex offender ?
Will he get some nookie as a reward ?

Tune in later for " The Exciting Adventures of a Virgin "

I guess hes going to eventually say that this sex offender is none other than the man he hitch hiked with, right? Because he wrote that the guy who gave him a ride said he can't be within a certain limit of Schools. Which means he is a registered sex offender.

fixed.

AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I'll tell you what I found out today. Aaron Mcconnel was blathering on about some party that he, Necron, Aaron Schlong and Matrix boy were at over the weekend. Harlotte wasn't at school today, so I didn't see her.
Anyway, Aaron Mcconnel takes me aside laughing, probably stoned, and tells me about this party which I was not invited to!

Some redneck allowed their kid to have a drugfest party as an early christmas present, and they had a keg, various sorts of pills, and a sawed off shotgun they were smoking marijuana through.

He then went on about how he did x amount of lines of this and drank y cups of jungle juice and exposed himself to z number of girls and was so "fuuuuuuucked up" that night.

Then he tells me at one point that Aaron Schlong decided to make prank calls and they were passing around ideas for "the biggest douche" to call at midnight. He didn't know who that "biggest douche" was, but Harlotte gave him the number....

And then he told me about what Harlotte did at this party.

She brought a bottle of Bombay Sapphire and proceeded to drink it straight from the bottle, and then she went into some kind of special inner circle type of room opened up in the back where harder drugs were being done. Aaron Mcconnel didn't get back there, but she and Aaron Schlong did. He found out later that night they were doing cocaine in there, which he was terribly jealous of.
"they think they're so goddam special going in that room with their pills and coke and special k. I had an eighth in my pocket the entire time! i would have smoked everyone up! but NO! just because she's a girl and because Longboy (this is what Aaron Mcconnel calls him to prevent confusion) is her boyfriend or something means they have to set good times and friendship aside to do their expensive drugs which I would gladly have paid for and....."

I don't know how long he went on like this, because I was so crushed that I lost track of him until he mentioned Harlotte again.

"...and when she came out of that room she was hanging all over him and her panties were around her ankles and I looked up her skirt when she wasn't looking and it was ALL SHAVED!!! Then she and Longboy started making out under the table, but I know they didn't fuck because she got violent from all the coke and booze and started trying to fight with girls and make out with them too, and this huge catfight broke out and she scratched some girl in the face and threw a beer bottle at another and started destroying the living room and we were all like "What the fuck is goin' on?" and then the parents came in and the mom punched her in the face and told Longboy to drag her out and never to come back again. It was so fucked man, you should have been there!"

GOD DAMN IT! How could I be betrayed by these slimy, mediocre pieces of SHIT!!!! Why does this moron with no tact whatsoever get better access to her than I, who WROTE HER PAPER!!!!!!!! GODAMMIT I HATE THEM ALL!!!! REVENGE!!!!! MURDER!!!!! HATRED!!!!!!
HOW DARE THEY DO THIS TO ME!!! THEY WILL SUFFER MY INFINITE WRATH!!!!!

I'll win her back. I've already decided. My CD ends its 6 month cycle next week, and I'm not putting the money in again. I will take her Christmas shopping, she will see that I am the one who can afford what she really wants in life. Why would she want to wallow in those trashy parties when I can buy her the finest champagne, take her to the finest symphonies in DC and buy her the most expensive clothes? My time has come, and this I will avenge!!!!!

chicks love cocaine. this harlotte chick sounds like a real cuntbag. go get her, man.

that sounded more like an alter ego post than 90% of the others. wow.

you'd be more appreciated if you bought her the most expensive columbian pure as the driven snow bag of blow and a big fuckin straw to shove up her nose.

Well Werther, maybe you should keep your options open.... Harlotte doesnt exactly seem to be on your intellectual level....

true. a snail would suit him better.

Wow she sounds like such a nasty trashy bitchy ass hoe. If someone tried that shit at my house I would beat them up and kick them out, male or female, black or white.

that's right! you show that slut-bag who's the alpha male.