*Never play leap frog with a unicorn.

*I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
*Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
*I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it!

hey sis i give you *shy girl hugs* hehecool stuff can i have the bumpber sticker? hehe.:)

Caution: I drive like you do.

Remember my name, you'll be screaming it later.

Sex Police: We keep you screaming.

I used to be a schizophrenic, but we're okay now.

Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

good ones, keep 'em coming!

i believe in elfs, unicorn, gnomes, real men and other mythical creatures

warning: teenage female driving

vegitariean, indian word for bad hunter

*save a tree...eat a beaver*

*shut up brain, or i'll poke you with a Q-tip*

*Flower Child gone to seed*

*Don't dollow me, I'm lost too*

I gotta find some more, i have a bunch and they are funny...:p

thanx for the contributions, keep em comin!

Why have you stolen my idea?

"You say tomato I say fuck you"
"Re hab is for quitters"
"If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers"
"I`m only wearing black until they invent a darker color"

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

My hockey mom beat up your soccer mom.

Out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

God was my co-pilot but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.

JESUS SAVES! Passes to Gretzsky.... score!

sorry for "stealing your idea" keep em coming guys:p

I think I'm just about out of them. I had a 2 or 3 page bumper sticker email thing saved, but that was before I had to replace my hard drive.

okay, here you go, my favorites are in bold:


"Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.”

"If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing."

"Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead."

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."

"If we weren’t supposed to eat animals, then they wouldn’t be made of meat"

"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock."

"When you do a good deed, you should get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."

"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."

"Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off."

“Never knock on Death's door: Ring the doorbell and run (he hates that).”

"Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.”

"No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.”

"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”

"Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.”

"If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?”

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.”

"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”

"Get lost in thought, it may be fun exploring unfamiliar territory.”

"How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?”

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?”

"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.”

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”

"If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons.”

"Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are ok, you’re it.”

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got

these are all shirt sayings like hte one you find at hot topic

"one by one the penguins steal my sanity..."

"i will not grease the monkey bars..."

"evidently im socially unacceptable"

"i love me"

"dont talk to me when im talking to myself"

"i only wear back because it goes with all my moods"

"the only way to resist temptaion it to give into it"

"if i was a turd, id jump out and scare people"

"why do people with closed minds always open their mouths"

"hi, i dont care, thanks"

"simon says you suck"

"hi im not gay but my boyfreind is"... im not gay i jut thought this was funny!

"nobody knows im gay" i also thought that was funny

"if your happy with your mulet clap your hands"

"home is where the trailor is parked"

"its never to late to start wasting your life"

"tell your kids is not ncie to point at me"


"monkie steal my underwear at night"

"the headless chciken is after me again"

"take a picture itll last longer"

"so..i see you have nothing better to do than read peoples tee-shirts"

"my sexual preferance is not you"

"::::picture of monkey:::::: i fling poo"

"feel free to stare whisper and ask quetions"

"playing in traffic almost got me kiled"

"i see dumb people"

"im no longer a threat to society"

"im busy your ugly, have a nice day"

"tell your girlfriend i said thanx"

"your village called they want their idiot back"

"must be this tall to ride"

"never underestimate hte power of stupid people in large groups"

"dont make me get my flying monkeys"

"i was dropped on my head when i was a kid"

"as a matter of fact the world does revolve around me"

"Dork!...fell the sensation"

"im lost will you take me home with you"

"give me a dollar and ill leave you alone"

"do i look like a F%*#ing people person"

"girls are no substitue for a playstation"

"im just one big f*&$cking ray of sunshine arent i"

"cant sleep clows will eat me..."



yes thats rite i did go to hot topic.com and read the shirts then post em...

magnus, you rock. Bloodwing, gad damned funny

yeh the ones i posted werent that funny i quess...oh well at least it helped y post count increase...

fallen some funny shit as well my friend

yay!... im loved...