Q: How do you know a blond has been in your car?

A: The shift stick is all wet.

A 3rd grade blonde comes home from school and asks her mother, 'Is it true what Jenny just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?'

'Yes, dear,' replied her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it.

'But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?'

Q. Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?

A. Drinking on the job.

Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde in great detail. The robbery begins. The first blonde drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the other blonde, 'I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?' 'Perfectly,' she said. She goes in the bank while the other waits in the getaway car. One minute passes, two minutes pass...seven minutes pass - and the first blonde is really stressing out. Finally, the bank doors burst open and out she comes. She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away, the first blonde says 'You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!' The second blonde said, 'I did! I did exactly what you said!' 'No, you idiot,' she replied. 'You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!'

Blondes are like vaccuum cleaners: They suck, they blow, and they get laid in a closet!

Blondes are likes bowling balls: you pick them up, finger them, throw them in the gutter and they comd back for more!

There was a red head, a brunette, and a blonde all in an adults only erotic shop.
The red head walks up to the counter and tells the man that she would like the red vibrator.
He takes it down off the shelf and says "ok that'll be twenty dollars." She pays and goes off on her merry way.
The brunette walks up to the man and says that she would like the yellow vibrator.
He take the yellow one off the shelf and says "ok, miss, that'll be twenty dollars."
She pays and goes off on her merry way.
The blonde walks over to the man blushes and says "yes, sir, I would like the plaid one please." The man turns around to see the "plaid vibrator" and smiling, says "that'll be 75 dollars."
The blonde pays and goes off on her merry way.
The owner of the store comes in and asks the man how the sales were that day.
He replies, "Well, I sold a red and a yellow vibrator for 20 dollars each, and i sold your thermos to some lady for 75 bucks!"

So the other day in Cleveland, a Total Blonde went with friends to a 'Ladies Night Club' [think Chippendales]. One of the women wanted to impress her pals so she pulled out a $10 bill. The dancer came over, she licked the $10 and stuck it on his butt. Not to be outdone, the next woman pulls out a $50 bill. She called the guy back over, licks the $50 bill, and sticks it on his other butt cheek. Now the attention is focused on The Blonde. What could she do to top that? She got out her wallet, thought for a minute, then the 'shopper' in her took over. She got her ATM card, swiped it down his crack, grabbed the 60 bucks, and went home.

Q. Why are Blondes so guiet during sex?
A. They were taught never to speak to strangers!

Q. How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?

A. She has a tampon stuck behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil.

I love crude jokes:)

A certain young man finally won a date with a dumb blonde that lived in his apartment complex. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn on his 'tool of the trade'. But the young man was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man's sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain.
The dumb blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his Johnson immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, 'So THAT'S how you guys load those things!'

A blonde was driving in her car when she was pulled over by a police officer. The officer put his penis up against the glass and she looked at it and said 'Not another breathalizer test!'

Meaty, why am I not surprised? *wanders about muttering about the dirty Brits*

You told them, I only laughed at them.

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

A: Pull up their pants.

Q. What was the purpose of the blonde taping the dollar bill over her belly button?

A. All you can eat under a dollar.

A blonde walks into a bar and looks around. There is no pool table, no dart board, no jukebox. She asked the bartender, 'What do you guys do for fun around here, anyway?' The bartender picks up a bat, walks over to an ape in the corner of the room. He hits it over the head and it goes crazy. It jumps all over the place, dancing, then runs to the bartender and gives him a blow job. After the bar tender cleaned up the mess he started to hand the bat to the blonde. He said, 'Here, why don't you give it a try?'

'OK, just try not to hit me as hard.'

Q. How are a blonde and a screen door alike?

A. The harder you slam them the louder they get.

Q: Why do so many men trade their blondes for trashcans?

A: Trashcans have smaller holes and they taste better.