My eyes have seen much over the preceding weeks. I have experienced the squeaky clean white of hospital beds. The itchy starch clean of cheap hotel beds, and the stench of sleeping in an alley beneath an exhaust fan. Always, when faced with problems, I have been notorious for running away. In school I would flee the school bullies, uncaring of the fact that I was larger than most of them, and would have had a decent chance had it came to blows. In my adult years I have run to drugs. Those damnable drugs. They eat away at my will to live as well as my very intellect. Every day I find it harder and harder to remember the past. I am trying however... trying to leave those demons behind me and move on. These last few months I have failed. But hopefully I am past that now, as much as anyone can ever be passed a constant haunting addiction.

I returned hoping to discover the thread my beloved KernalKid dedicated to me, but after searching through veritble jungle of past posts, I was unable to locate it. I want Kernal to realize just how much of an inspiration she was to me during these hard times. I want her to know the part she has played in my healing process. I think I now realize that I could never have her... but just striving to be the type of person she would want has given me strength. I pray to whatever supreme deity that will listen for her forgiveness of my abscence. I pray that she has not forgotten me. I pray that, in some way, I managed to make a mark on her heart, and that she left a small place in it open, awaiting my return.

Wishful thinking... I know. I was only here a short time. I can't possibly expect her to remember or care about one rambling fool in the virtual sea of rambling fools that is darkness.com.

I wish to God I hadn't left. I wish I hadn't put that damn needle in my arm again. I was emotionally pained, but I was healthy. Now I have so far to go to get back to the point I previously was. I don't know if I can do it alone. But that is the fate of necrophophic. Lonliness and emptiness are my constant bedmates. Nothing can change that.

Necro, you dont know how happy I am to have you back. I know we never talked much or even at all but from the threads I remember, the words you said...oh hell, its just great to have you back. I love reading your posts, your words. All are always beautiful. I hope you never leave again.

The thread u are talking about was closed. Welcome back.

and I hope you can deal with your problems, while also contributing to the entertainment that is these forums... hopefully giving out intelligent posts unlike some people who I shall not name due to... kindness?

Isuppose i could say welcome back, but being as I'm new here I'll just say hello.

you're back! omg, i missed you!

now that i have shown enthusiasm, i just want you to know, that you don't have to change yourself to be something i want. i love you the way you are. i am so sorry that in your absence you found pain. but i will do anything i can to help you.

of course i didn't forget you, how could i?

luv much

Much love to necro.......

You have just defeated any thoughts I had about leaving the boards. You are god.


Welcome back dude, I cant wait to discuss politics, poetry, philosophy with you again.

by the way, you probly know me as NUMB VAMPYRE

really manifesto? you were numb vampire? nifty

i thought you hated me necrophophic! i'm soooooo glad you don't.

holy shit, manifesto, you were numb vampyre? ha! thats...yeah...lol anyways, i agree, Necro is a GOD, definitly

Originally posted by John Preston
and I hope you can deal with your problems, while also contributing to the entertainment that is these forums... hopefully giving out intelligent posts unlike some people who I shall not name due to... kindness?

John... you don't have to say it.... I know most to all of my posts are probably the stupidest in this whole site here in darkness... I swear I'll try to make my future posts more intellegent like. Ok.

And to you Necro- nI do hope you are much, much better...
I have much faith in you dear one.... And I know, such as I see that with you having so many caring friends as all of these peeps here in darkness.... that you shall do just fine... I know I don't know you, all I know is that I care and I am here if you want to talk.

Wow, people remember NUMB VAMPYRE....well I suppose thats ok.

Yes, NV was my newbie name....after I understood the rules I changed names. But I didnt think anyone would remember that name!!

http://www.darkness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=1982&pagenumber=7

Yeah Necro, check the old thread and you will see just how sad KernalKid was when you left.

Yea I was going to say something about taht too Kernal...you sound soooo overjoyed and you missed him soooo much huh?



"i mean, i miss the guy, but not so much its gonna keep me up at night. geeze."

Oh yes. I can tell.


"*rolls her eyes* damn fr0g, you say i'm anoying."
You are.

I became bored with school, again, so I decided to waddle on into this thread and see if anyone had said something smartassy in the direction of necro, telling him he shouldn't have returned or some shit...
And I get to see Panthera acting like an ass... why?

well, you all acted like i was suposed to go off the net completely. i don't believe in anything, i thought it was bullshit, sorry necro. i did miss you. i am very glad you are back.

most likely he took fr0gs advice, and now does hate me.

KERNAL, I AM ABOUT TO SEND YOU AN E-MAIL. PLEASE READ IT AND RESPOND TO ME TODAY IF YOU CAN. I HOPE YOU READ THIS POST. :)

please post her so i know you read this

i really don't know skorp.

and area, it isn't here yet, but as soon as it gets here i'll respond, don't worry.

thanks a bunch hun. you're a diamond in the rough. ;)

love.

allright Im Here.........

**sticks bum in the air**

now who wants to touch my ass?

comeon I know you want to touch it....

I can see it in your eyes.....

you want to stroke it....

who will be the first brave soul?