Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.


In a laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES. PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS.

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT
BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.


In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON
THE DRAINING BOARD.

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING. BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING
YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in a health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.


Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.


Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON
THE FIRST FLOOR.

Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL
CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.


On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL
DOESN'T WORK.)

Here are some more:

On a Sear's hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."

On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

you know that most of the time they put those kinda warnings up cuz someone tried it

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."


i just dont know what to say about that one except ouch

Originally posted by LillyDara
you know that most of the time they put those kinda warnings up cuz someone tried it

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."


i just dont know what to say about that one except ouch

Yeah.. apparently there was a lot of that going on somewhere in Sweden..

I'm just wondering how that would work, exactly. You're standing there cutting something up with your brand new Swedish chainsaw and you think, "you know, maybe I should just whip it out and see if I can get the chain to stop that way..."

I dunno. Craziness.