The following has been attributed to
State Representative Mitchell Kaye.
We, the sensible people of the United
States, in an attempt to help everyone
get along, restore some semblance of
justice, avoid any more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive
behavior, and secure the blessings of
debt free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great-grandchildren,
hereby try one more time to ordain
and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny,
guilt ridden, delusional. . .. We hold
these truths to be self-evident: that a
whole lot of people are confused by
the Bill of Rights and are so dim that
they require a Bill of No Rights."

ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car,
big screen TV or any other form of
wealth. More power to you if you can
legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be
offended. This country is based on
freedom, and that means freedom for
everyone -- not just you! You may
leave the room, turn the channel,
express a different opinion, etc.,but
the world is full of idiots, and probably
always will be ... and like the rest of us
you need to simply deal with it.

ARTICLE III:>
You do not have the right to be free
from harm. If you stick a screwdriver
in your eye, learn to be more careful;
do not expect the tool manufacturer to
make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy by telling them
they didn't warn you not to stick the
screwdriver in your eye.

ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food
and housing. Americans are the most
charitable people to be found, and will
gladly help anyone in need, but we are
quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of
professional couch potatoes who
achieve nothing more than the
creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.


ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free
health care. That would be nice, but
from the looks of public housing, we
should be wary of public health care
or public anything.

ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically
harm other people. If you kidnap, rape,
intentionally maim, or kill someone,
don't be surprised if the rest of us
want to see you fry in the electric chair
(yes, capital punishment).

ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the
possessions of others. If you rob,
cheat or coerce away the goods or
services of other citizens, don't be
surprised if the rest of us get together
and lock you away in a place where
you still won't have the right to a big
screen color TV, pool tables,weight
rooms or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII:

You don't have the right to a job.All of
us sure want you to have a job, and
will gladly help you along in hard
times, but we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities of part
time jobs, education and vocational
training laid before you to make
yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX:
You do not have the right to
happiness. Being an American means
that you have the right to PURSUE
happiness-- which by the way, is a lot
easier if you are unencumbered by an
overabundance of idiotic laws created
by those of you who were confused
by the Bill of Rights,

ARTICLE X:
This is an English speaking country.
We don't care where you are from. We
welcome you here. English is our
language and like the one you left
behind, we also have a culture. Learn
it or go back to the country and the
living conditions you were fleeing."