My apologies for being so vague. I too am in NZ, btw.

More to go on? Well, here goes. I was born with a lot of medical problems, and I've had a lot of corrective surgery throughout my life. My upcoming surgery (if indeed I decide to go ahead) will be serious surgery number eight. Now, you may be wondering...well she's had surgery in the past...where's the difficulty?. True, most of my surgery has been done in my childhood. However, now that I'm an adult, there are additional considerations. The serious surgery I am facing is to correct a major deformity as well as re-revise earlier surgical procedures. It'll be bigger and more complicated than anything I've ever faced. As with any surgery, there are a number of accepted risks and potential complications. And...the technologies and the techniques are new...so I'll be something of a guinea pig...metaphorically speaking, I'd hope, heh. I have to be prepared for facing significant physical scarring, ongoing pain and up to a year of intensive rehab.

At the moment, I'm at Med School completing a Masters degree, by thesis. My name could come up for surgery at any time.

As to the romantic ties, I am very much also 'in limbo' right now. I'm 'in love' with someone,...only to have them say that they can't care about anyone else other than themselves. Which is understandable, only I feel as if I've lost/am losing my investment in my feelings. Does that make ANY sense or am I rambling yet again?.

I'm feeling lost and without direction...and for the first tiime in what has been a difficult life...discouraged and depressed. I did not ask to be born with all of my medical problems. And, I'm grateful to have survived this far. It is just that I simply crave happiness and security. Don't we all?.

Angelfilth