| Shattered Light
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Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: "Nowhere to go, nowhere to turn. Horridly slow, my sanity burns. Heaven's abandoned me, prayers are in vain. Death is cowardly, so I live with pain - In my silent hell. My silent hell. My silent hell." Zodiac Sign:
Pisces
|
03-01-03
Speaking of developing one's writing skill, I'll give you two examples of my own. When I first came to DF, back in November of 2001, I had no previous experience with Roleplaying. The following is the first post I ever did, followered by another one during the same innitial period. (For those interested, this is from Reficul, the first post to be exact, as it will explain, which is in the normal RP. This is before Threshold was even thought about...much less created. Don't laugh at me...LOL) Quote:
You step into The Town of Reficul, walking between the two Weeping Willow trees that serve as the town gate. Houses are dotted along the land of the forest-enclosed town.
Directly in front of you is the town square. There is an angel fountain there. The angel, standing, has his wings spread and has a sword in his right hand while his left hand is extended towards you palm up.
Turning left, you see the town's cathedral. Stone, stained-glass windows, and crouching angels are on the roof of the cathedral. Three-stories above the massive wooden doors with scenes from the Battle of Heaven and Hell carved on them, is a massive stained-glass window.
To the right of the cathedral is the graveyard, surrounded on all sides except one by trees. There you will find angel tombstones, above-ground tombs, and the everyday cross.
Walking back around the angel fountain, from the upper right of the fountain, you can follow the path to the ancient castle that is over 6 stories high, with the towers standing an amazing 8 stories high. The castle hasn't been inhabited for over 1000 years.
A river and the Mystic's Lake is hidden in the forest, producing a shroud of hazy blue myst. Even during the daylight hours, the light is very dim because everything is concealed in myst.
| ******** Quote:
*Walks around the angel fountain and stares at it for a moment*
"How splendid. An angel..."
*Walks to infront of the cathedral. Walks up the stairs and stands in front of the great wooden doors depicting the Battle of Heaven and Hell. The door has scenes of angel's being impaled etc etc. Opens the large door and sees roughly 20 rows, devided by a walkway down the middle...*
"Lovely..."
(All the rows are filled with people. At the front of the church, there are two priest standing in front of a crucifix, eyes closed, saying a prayer in latin.)
*I walk into the cathedral, up the aisle...silently. My black cape is flowing behind me. As I walk between the pews, filled with people on the knees praying, I tap the ends of each pew. They engulf in flames. Near the front of the church, one of the priest looks up and sees what is going on. He is horrified. He runs at me with his silver cross in hand saying 'In the name of God'. Before he can finish his sentence, I rip the cross from his hand, breaking his wrist. He clutches it in pain and terror. Then, without missing a beat, with cross in hand, I shove the cross into his neck, whispering in his ear right before his last breath...*
"In the name of God? What God. You're fucked."
*Twisting the cross that already in his neck, blood gushes out, and he crumples to the floor, his white robe now crimson. I walk up to the other priest and wait for him to finish his prayer. He says 'Amen' then looks up to find me staring at him with the flames now hissing as they burn wood and flesh and the priest killed by the cross behind me. He tries to run but I grab his shoulder and throw him to the ground. I now stand directly infront of a massive wooden crucifix.*
"I rather enjoy crucifixes."
*I do the Catholic cross thing across my chest and bring my right hand up to my mouth, kissing my thumb then I touch the bottom of the crucifix, making it engulf in flames. I turn around, the priest now stumbling backwards. I walk to him and thrust my right hand out, touching his forhead with two fingers. Immeadiatly the back of his head explodes as fire rushes through it. He crumples to the gound. I walk out of the desecrated, burning cathedral.*
| It's kind of depressing to look back and then realize I wrote that. Nonetheless, everyone has a beginning somewhere. Now, the next two examples are from Threshold. My skill as a writer and RPer had developed quite a bit (as it continues to even now). The first quote is from Michaelangelo's, a restaurant. The second quote is after Marius had been in battle (this Marius is different from the Freficul one because it is two seperate worlds) and is returning home. These are probably the top two favorite posts of mine. Notice that even in the first post, when compared to the second, is not as good. That's because, as I said, one developes one's talents through time and experience. (I'm sure I sound egotistical, but after a day of moving heavy furniture down steps and stealing a 300+ lb. concrete Jesus statue, then running with it for half a mile, I'm pretty damn tired, thus uncaring of people's opinion. LOL) Quote:
*Marius walks up the four rounded steps to the glass doors of the two-story building. He stands for a moment, the chill night breeze causing his jacket to flutter softly at his heels. He looks up for a moment, admiring the architecture of the building...the giant stained glass window glowing with the light from inside the building. He looks down to the door as the doorman greets him. Marius merely nods, steps into the building, and hands his overcoat to yet another man waiting for it. He steps lightly on the imported marble floor, taking notice to the various Italian frescos that surrounded him on the walls and ceiling, as well as the marble statues of everything from demons to innocent cherubs. Many of these creations were originals...worth millions. Marius had actually sold some of the art to the owner for this very place. He continues on through the restaurant to his normal place...a booth in the very back of the restaurant. On his way back, various important figures - clients, allies and enemies alike acknowledge his presence with a nod. Marius returns the gesture and finally sits down on the black leather cushioned seat. Above him, a recreation of Michelangelo's The Prophet Joel, with his flowing robes of crimson and lavender, stares down upon Marius' neck, always watchful. Every detail is dramatic in a simple yet effective way. The raw power and violence, yet serenity in the eyes seem to unnerve most. However, Marius is accustomed to the stare. He has seen far more horrific things in his existence.*
*A waiter in his mid-thirties, dressed in a tux of sorts approaches Marius. He stands silent for a moment then offers a welcome to Marius. Marius looks up at him and smiles, showing his gratitude for the warm welcomes he once again received.*
"Jon is it? Well, Jon, I would like to start off by ordering a bottle of your best wine. Cotes du Rhone...1925."
"Yes sir. A very good year for the red wine. I think you will enjoy it sir. I'll be right back with it."
*Marius smiles and nods as the waiter disperses himself to get the bottle of wine. However, this was no mere bottle of wine. Rhone, France has been making excellent wine since Roman times. Due to such perfection in the wine, it costs around $11,000 a bottle. Marius hopes his would be companion, if he answers Marius' call, likes wine. If not, he shall just drink it all himself.*
*A few moments pass and the waiter returns with the bottle, resting in a silver pail filled with ice. He opens the bottle and begins to pour Marius a glass. It's deep and rich crimson liquid flows from the bottle into the glass. He returns the bottle to its pail and once again walks away. Marius takes his hand and embraces the crystal with his fingers. He brings the glass up to his nose, breaths a slow and deep breath, inhaling the delicate yet strong fragrance of the wine. He then brings the glass to his lips and tips it just a degree further. The liquid flows between his lips and over his tongue, making his taste buds explode with the spicy sensation. He swallows the wine and smiles, lowering the glass back to the table. Truly impressed by it, he continues to calmly drink from it, savoring every vivid sentiment as he waits for his guest.*
| ******** Quote:
*The studio was in the heart of the city, a very prestigious and upscale part of town. Everything here had class and style. That's why Marius had chosen it to be his residence. The tower itself was massive, one of the tallest in the city. The top two floors Marius called his own...the penthouse suite. However, there was no way Marius could merely walk in the front doors of the building, not the way he looked. After all, he looked like he had just been through hell, and he had.*
*He stood in the shadows for a moment, away from the prying eyes that he was sure surrounded him, thinking of how he could get into his studio without being noticed. Granted, any other time, he would merely appear on the balcony and walk in...but he was too weak now. Looking up at the balcony, he noticed the fire escape. Something he had just looked over before, as it was not essential to his life. However, now it would prove beneficial. He walked beneath the metal platform, several feet above. He jumped up onto the platform and made his way up the seemingly endless stairs.*
*Upon reaching his balcony, several moments later, he looked through the two glass doors. The fireplace was still burning, casting a soothing glow upon the features of the room and its dark red brick walls. The soft piano music was like a breath of fresh air as he opened the doors. He stepped through the doors and closed them once inside. He made his way to the bathroom.*
*Opening the wooden door, the glow of the fire entered into the dark room. He felt around the smooth wall of the bathroom, aimlessly, until he found the light switch. The light was harsh at first, causing his pupils to dilate, increasing the intensity of his headache. He stood still for a moment until his eyes had adjusted to the light. He stepped past the various objects in the bathroom until he stood in front of the shower. He slowly placed the front of his right foot on the heel of his left shoe, applying pressure and sliding his foot from it. He proceeded to do the same with the opposite shoe. He took his black silk socks off, the cold marble floor at first intense to the senses of his bare feet. He let his suit jacket, riddled with bullet holes and tears in the fine cloth, slide from his shoulders to the floor. He un-tucked his satin shirt, slowly, while jets of pain shot through his abdomen due to the various wounds inflicted upon him by the shotgun. He then reached up and pulled the back of his tie, loosening it and finally untying it. Pulling one end of the tie, the pieces of the dried blood flaking off, he watched as they both cascaded to the floor. He unbuttoned his shirt, slowly, painfully. Like his blazer, he let the shirt slide from his shoulders to the floor as well. He then opened the shower door and turned the flowing jets of water on. The water splashing onto the floor of the shower deafened the piano music in the background. Quickly, the steam began to rise and fill the room. Marius then continued to undress, taking his belt off and finally his pants and boxers.*
*He stepped into the shower, closing the door behind him, the hot water strongly contrasting the cold floor his feet had grown accustomed to. The soothing flow hit his chest and face like an avalanche. Marius deeply sighed, the water flowing from his face into his open mouth. The dried blood on his face and chest quickly became animate again as the water hit it. It cascaded down his body, a torrent of crimson flow, to the shower floor. He slowly moved his hand to his chest, his palm resting upon his navel and the small group of dark hairs that rested below it. He moved his hand up his chest, his fingers finding the wounds in his chest and stomach. The lead pellets fell from his body as his fingers dislodged them. The bullets made a muffled sound as they hit the pooling water. A small amount of blood flowed from the open wounds, the hot water flowing into them causing sharp pains to come to life throughout his body. He continued to move his hands over his various wounds, washing the blood away. The wounds would heal, leaving no evidence of their existence in a small amount of time, perhaps a day or less. Even now, the dulled electric sensations Marius felt was confirmation his body was healing.*
*Finally he reached down and turned off the flow of hot water. He opens the shower door and reaches for a towel. The cotton softly caresses his body, but still its gentle touch irritated Marius' wounds. Nevertheless, he proceeded to dry the beads of water from his body. He stepped from the shower, the damp towel in his powerful hands and looked into the mirror. He took notice of the bruised spots on his face and chest, his defined, smooth pecs and his slightly darkened nipples, his glossy short obsidian hair and his crystalline eyes. He touched his fingers to the bruises on his abs. He was reminded of the first time he viewed his reflection so long ago. He looked the same as he did then. Timeless and ageless...perfect. His reverie was cut abruptly as his head throbbed once again. He closed his eyes, as if to escape the pain. He then wrapped the towel around his waist. He turned and walked out of the bathroom, turning the light off.*
*He then walked to the glass doors of his balcony. Looking out over the city, the lights contrasting the darkness that had fallen across it, he remembered the vision Hiro had given him. The fires, the chaos, the pain and death of all of the creatures of the darkness as they were called...his brothers. He placed his hand upon the glass door, the chill of the night air becoming evident to the cold sensation he felt through his palm. He called out to Hiro, knowing the creature, his ally, his friend, was still somewhere in the vast city.*
Hiro, I know not where you are or what task you are doing. However, know this my friend. If you need me in any way, contact me. You have called us because we all must come together as one in order to continue our existence. If you need me brother, just call out, and I'll be there...
*Marius took his hand from the glass window, letting it fall to his side. The heat of his palm caused the moisture in the air to leave the expression of his hand against the cold window. Marius turned and walked across the darkened hard wood floor to the black leather sofa facing the fireplace. He sat down initially, but being exhausted, he soon stretched out. His feet rested upon one arm cushion, ankles crossed. He bent his arms and placed his hands behind his head, which rested in his palms. His view slowly changed from the ceiling to the fireplace as his head came to rest. His arctic eyes reflected the warm fire as the thoughts of all the days happenings poured into mind. Eventually his eyes closed, but his mind continued to stir throughout his sleep.*
| There ya go. That's it. I don't know why I went on that tyrade...but there it is. I was thinking Lillith, if there is an interest in this period RPing, I would call upon the elders (my bosses) and ask them to give me the power to create an entire city. Say for example we base the RP in a city, much like Venice or Florence or London, perhaps Prague, or hell, New Orleans or New York. I would then research the particular city during the time frame of our RP, and create a world. There would be an area to post in the docks, in the banking section of town, the ghetto, the artsy part of town, etc etc. It would be much like the RP forum, also hosted by ezboard.com, that is at this address: http://pub17.ezboard.com/bschoolforgiftedyoungsters
Anyway...tis just a few thoughts of mine. I'm going to sleep now. Have to wake up in five hours and go to a college thing of some sort... Later.
-Marius
"I created God so He could create me.
I gave place to Heaven and Hell and envisioned Eternity."
- I Am |
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