First off, if she was with another guy a month after saying she was in love with you, then she was never truly in love with you. Not being rude, that's just the truth. Secondly, you need to let go and move on, I know it hurts, but you're not helping anything and you're not going to. Find something else to occupy your life. Third, Why on earth do you cut yourself? It doesnt' help a damn thing, all it does it leave you bloody and scarred. Cutting is just damn stupid, and it's a cowardly thing to do. Fourth of all... Not to be rude, but with all the things newbies claim on the advice board, I don't really believe that you're dying of cancer, it sounds like something to get attention. However if you are in fact dying, then now would be the time to go out and do those things you've always wanted to do. I know if I was dying, I would be parachuting from planes and bunjee jumping every other day, and in the time inbetween, I'd be racing my car at Sebring.