Passed down, while I wandered forth along the mighty path outside her window, she spoke to me, our great goddess Jordyn. Decreeing that I type and post the commandments, I have done as she asked.... now stare in wonder at the 13 Commandments!

1. Thou must kill incesters.

2. Think, lest thee forfeit thine life.

3. When thou stares in a window, use thine camera.

4. Post, lest thee lost thine posting ability.

5. Thou must not stare at Jordyn's face, for it be too bright, instead look lower.

6. Thee and thine family must not step on the grass where it says not to.

7. Thou must yield to pedestrians at crosswalks.

8. Thou must not sleep with a married person, unless if it's with both spouses.

9. Thou must not play games while masturbating, lest thee go blind.

10. Thou must worship only Jordyn, for Jordyn is the one true beauty.

11. Thou must not fear the number 13, for it is Jordyn's number.

12. Thou must look on others as equals, unless they prove to be utter morons.

13. Thou must not listen to false prophets, for they speak not the truth.